Do you really know how to love?

@winterose (39918)
Canada
January 24, 2009 8:04pm CST
I have seen many discussions on mylot about love, and how when a lover is out of town the other person doesn't know what to do with themselves, I have seen discussions about checking up on everything a lover does when they are not in your presence, but what do you do, do you trust your lover when they are out of your sight? Do you do things alone or are you always together day and night? How do you feel when you are alone, is it a time to enjoy yourself with your friends and get to do the things that would not be possible otherwise, or do you just sit around and be miserable all day because you are not with your lover and you can't think of another thing to do. Kahlil Gibran was one of the worlds greatest poets, he wrote extensively about love http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1415521/give_them_wings.html?cat=41
5 people like this
18 responses
@chertsy (3805)
• United States
25 Jan 09
I used to be the one that didn't know what to do with myself when my husband was gone. Used to check up on him, all those bad things when your new in a relationship and your jealous. After 13 years of marriage, I actually look forward to days when he's out of the house. I get more done when him and my kids are gone. I can finally clean my house in peace, do my thing on the internet. Even take a nap if I get tired. I trust him now and he trusts me. I tell a lot of military wives that when their husbands leaves for a tour, to find a hobby. Preferably one that won't cause them to ruin their marriage. Something to keep them busy while he's gone. Got to love hobbys especially ones that helps bring in extra money.
4 people like this
@winterose (39918)
• Canada
25 Jan 09
yes that is very true, get a hobby, get a life, you are your own person.
2 people like this
@chertsy (3805)
• United States
25 Jan 09
Thank you for best response. Also, do you get paid if your story is read at associatedcontent. If not, please explain how it works, I love reading your stories and helping you earn extra money as well.
1 person likes this
@sanuanu (11238)
• India
26 Jan 09
I am sorry chertsy but what do mean by "My husband was gone"? Is he on tour most of the time or something else?
1 person likes this
@sanuanu (11238)
• India
25 Jan 09
Possibly I don't know how to love because when I was in love, I was always in fear that my gf would leave me alone and I used to make a call to her every now and then to ask if she loves me or not. I think the most important prospect in love is that you trust your partner. If your partner is having trust on you and both of you have mutual understanding, then only the love would go successful. Otherwise, you will see your love go away from your life. Thank you for the discussion and commenting me.
3 people like this
@winterose (39918)
• Canada
25 Jan 09
yes hon, your thoughts are very true.
1 person likes this
@sanuanu (11238)
• India
26 Jan 09
what is "hon"? You are using this term for every comment?
@Lakota12 (42684)
• United States
25 Jan 09
When mine was out of town I was working also so didnt feel to lonely but he did so he would find things he neded me to bring him on the weekend So I would drive the 300 miles to be with him. He never liked to be alone. Then one time I got snowed in there couldnt get back over the mountains road inpassable so I stayed about a week. when I left he called that night and said this couldnt happen again as it was weird to come home to an empty room. BUt it did alot of times he had to go to a job with out me. SOme times I would drive to see him some times I would fly. After he retired we were togeter all the time. and I sure do miss him .
2 people like this
@winterose (39918)
• Canada
25 Jan 09
I know hon it is hard to be without him, I certainly know that.
@Lakota12 (42684)
• United States
25 Jan 09
thnkas nice to have friends here so I dont go plum crazy. hugs
• United States
25 Jan 09
I thought to love someone meant that you want their happiness as much or even more than your own.Love nothing to do with spying on you lover or anything like that. If I Had to check up on my man, then he Really isn't mine, or better still, I can;t trust him so I should let him go.
2 people like this
@winterose (39918)
• Canada
25 Jan 09
good points, did you read the article?
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Jan 09
When I tried to open it, I couldn't. I'll try again.
@noniefam (284)
• Indonesia
25 Jan 09
i dont know about that cause i dont really sure aout my self too. im not confidence about love
2 people like this
@winterose (39918)
• Canada
25 Jan 09
you have lots of time left to find out what love is all about.
@stephcjh (32328)
• United States
25 Jan 09
I really know how to love. I do trust my husband when he is out of my site and he trusts me also. We always do everything together. I miss him when he is at work and I am working also. I hate being home alone without him here. He and I both have got to work though. We both stay very busy.
2 people like this
@winterose (39918)
• Canada
25 Jan 09
yes I know hon, thanks for responding to my discussion.
@kbourgerie (8774)
• United States
25 Jan 09
Although, the link you gave is absent of content, I did want to remark that I love Kahlil Gibran and his philosophies. Not just in love, but in all aspects of life. We could learn much from him.
2 people like this
@mobhomeir (7565)
• Philippines
25 Jan 09
Trust is one factor if you want your relation with someone you love last longer. Wherever you maybe with or without your love one on your side you would feel comfortable always.But at least the feeling is mutual. Sometimes we feel like being alone that's natural but not most of the time. Have you observe in yourself when you're alone unexpectedly you can think of something which not good, that's the time negative thoughts comes in. Much better go with with good friends or your best friend to keep yourself away of loneliness. That's what I always do. I hate being alone.
2 people like this
@winterose (39918)
• Canada
25 Jan 09
good points hon
@riyasam (16578)
• India
25 Jan 09
somehow,i cannot view the poem,ill check back later.yup,even i have seen those discussions and have even contributed to some,but i think,its what is inside that counts......................
2 people like this
@winterose (39918)
• Canada
25 Jan 09
thanks for your response hon
• Italy
26 Jan 09
I think no one can explain love. This is a feeling which only a lover can feel. There a saying to explain love "Let the person fly free, whom you love if her returns back to you he is yours by heart and if he dosent return understand that he was not in love with you. What I believe about love is to care and happiness of your lover.
1 person likes this
@winterose (39918)
• Canada
26 Jan 09
if you read my link you would see exactly where that expression came from that was what the link was about.
• Italy
27 Jan 09
I am sorry for this that i have not read your given link and commented my own thoughts. I have already told you i love reading books and i have studied Khalil Jibran soo early in my life and now was missing his name in my mind. I picked up this thought from his book for my love life. I clearly believe what he said. If you love some one and you are going to get him by force or by wealth you will only have his body you can never ever have his heart for you.
@yezzyk (180)
• Netherlands
25 Jan 09
Hi Winterose, A few years ago I met a man, who turned out to be the love of my life. Although we are not together as a couple, I find peace in the realization that he excists and is out there. I learned that REAL LOVE is to let go. When he's truly happy, even if it is not with me, I can only be happy for him.
1 person likes this
@winterose (39918)
• Canada
25 Jan 09
very good my friend, I think you would enjoy reading the link as well.
@yezzyk (180)
• Netherlands
25 Jan 09
Thank you, I did.. ;-)
@moneymaya (901)
• India
25 Jan 09
I think friend love is happens and no to do , its not an action ,its an feeling which comes from very deep that you can't do it means you can't control on it and its like a worship means it doesn't matter the person to whom you love is in front of you or not but your feeling never lost for him like god and I am sorry to say that its very rare in the earth to search real love , current time all are just attraction or selfish ness thanks for sharing
1 person likes this
@winterose (39918)
• Canada
25 Jan 09
love is not selfish love is not vain, love does not mean that you can't spend two minutes without your life at your side, love does not mean that you lose the person you are to your love you remain you and your love remain he or she and you come together in perfect union a couple. read the article you will learn from one of the great poets in all of history.
• India
26 Jan 09
I am not saying that love is selfish , I am saying that the people think that what is doing is love that is actually selfish ness or nothing , if its not so then is it neccessy to end of each love on marriage , if marriage is the highest limit of the love then why divorce is there , and why people against the second marriage , and why you only love to your age opostive male/female is there any restriction of age in love , if you really love the where is your love for you parents who really love you wothout selfish ness but young son/daughter for his own define real love leave their parent is that really a real love ,
• United States
27 Jan 09
i dont check up on my hubby.. he will usually call or text me a lot when he is away anyways so i dont have to worry about never hearing from him.. i may get bored but some times i take it as a good time to do things i like to do at home that i never seem to get done when he is home lol.. such as CLEANING!! but some people i guess just stare at the walls lost when their loved ones are gone.. i dunno im just not like that.. i may be bored but i wont curl up and die
1 person likes this
@winterose (39918)
• Canada
28 Jan 09
good for you hon,
@PrarieStyle (2495)
• United States
26 Jan 09
God is the greatest poet in the world. He taught us how to love in the Bible. "Love is patient, love is kind and envies no one. Love is never boastful, nor conceited nor rude; never selfish nor quick to take offense. There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to it's faith, it's hope and endurance. In a word, there are three things that last forever: faith, hope and love; but the greatest of them all, is love." Your guy Gibran is pretty good too!
1 person likes this
@winterose (39918)
• Canada
26 Jan 09
straight from the book of corrinthians in the bible, I love that passage.
• Philippines
26 Jan 09
What I know about love is that it is never ending. . and it is indeed a grown up situation. . because if you are imaature and yet you think you are in love. . you might not handle it right. .
1 person likes this
@winterose (39918)
• Canada
26 Jan 09
very well said my friend.
@syeryn (574)
• United States
25 Jan 09
Well, I would never sit around and be miserable and will say that there are different types of love too. Some love, in order to survive requires that constant time be spent together and while that type of love can be intense, almost to the point of being overwhelming, it rarely survives the test of time but leaves us with memories that remain near and dear to our hearts. A love that withstands time is one where lovers are as comfortable together as they are when parted. Trust is never an issue because these lovers instinctively know there is no other love but the one they share. While it may not possess the overwhelming nature of the first love I mentioned, it does not suffocate either.
1 person likes this
@winterose (39918)
• Canada
26 Jan 09
yes that is it, I hope you read the link my friend.
@itsmine (104)
• United States
25 Jan 09
Yes. I knew to love. Love means mutual understanding, taking care, do something for him/her, etc.
@winterose (39918)
• Canada
26 Jan 09
good for you hon, I am happy for you.
@artaucan (97)
• United States
25 Jan 09
I think that we´re all differents when it comes to being involved in a relationship, some prefer to always be together and becoming very dependant of each other, while others feel more comfortable and believe the can offer a better commintment having their own space, the most important think is that whatever works for you must be taken seriously because otherwise there´s no need to commit which we´ll keep from frustrations.
1 person likes this
@winterose (39918)
• Canada
26 Jan 09
yes we are all different but there are some relationships that are not healthy and they are the ones that make you miserable and these are the ones I am talking about being a therapist this is my life work, and I have had those in my personal experience when I was young, trust me when you have a health love relationship without all the drama you will wonder why did you ever do the things you did before, or except the things you did before, you should also read the link.