Children dies in fire while mother was at party !!!

@ronnyb (6120)
Jamaica
February 7, 2009 7:16am CST
For as long as I can remember here on the island,many young mothers have been leaving their children to go to parties often times at very tragic results.The local authorities have been unable to curb this action but then what can they do ?. I am curious to find out fom you fellow mylotters ,what do you think would be the appropriate punishment for such a parent,jail time and if so for how long ? Or do you think that the hell she will be living in after such an incident would suffice ? Or do you suggest she go to parenting lessons and community time ? Oh and another consideration too is that these are usually single parent homes so should the father be jointly charged for the actions of the mother
8 people like this
19 responses
@cyberfluf (5005)
• Netherlands
7 Feb 09
This is a very hard, though very interesting topic. In my studies we have discussed parenting lessons for young mothers and fathers. I believe it is Sweden where this is allready a standard issue. It's obligated by the government to take parenting lessons if you are having a baby and are under a certain age. We need to ask ourselves: where do we draw the line of the government deciding how we should raise our kids (young or not)? If these things are common for a society, I agree there needs to be some sort of help. Putting a childs live in danger is something I agree should be punishment for. Even though the mother is going through a living hell, I don't think you can count it out just because of that. It's still a severe crime and there should be some form of action taken against these mothers. Rehabilation and some sort of psychological help might be in order. Finding out why the father wasn't involved seems like a good step too. Even though I don't think he can be held directly responsible for the moms behaviour, it might give some insight. Possible solution Better to start out a help program to educate these mothers about the risks of leaving their children alone, and providing good, payable daycare for these mothers. Sure, they can go out and have fun, but they need to give their children a save place to stay while they are not around the house. Better to prevent something from happening than to clean up the mess afterwards.
@ronnyb (6120)
• Jamaica
7 Feb 09
A very balanced answer,you mentioned punishment and this cannot be overlooked as sympathetic as we are to her plight ,this is still a very severe crime.I really like your solution ,the notion of payable daycare should go a far way in aleviating this problem and also parenting lessons.Thank you for your response
1 person likes this
@cyberfluf (5005)
• Netherlands
7 Feb 09
Thank you, Ronnyb. It was a great challenge for me coming up with a good answer because we study things like this in college daily because of the proffesion I am studying (pedagogue). Being able to give a wellbalanced answer is not just something I like to do and get better in, it also trains skills I will need when I am working in the field in a couple of years. Thank you for your response.
@ANTIQUELADY (36488)
• United States
7 Feb 09
i think the mother should be punished just as if she had killed her herself. i can't understand a mother going off &leaving a child alone for any reason. how aful. i don't know about the father he probably isn't waht a hoot to start with just like her.
1 person likes this
@ronnyb (6120)
• Jamaica
7 Feb 09
I understand where you are coming from especially when you look back at how you raised your two boys primarily by yourself.Unfortunately these younger mothers are a different breed and mothers like you Antique are dying breed.Not saying that there arent many mothers who are young and conscious but it seems the majority are irresponsible.Thank you for your answer
• United States
8 Feb 09
Parents leaving their kids unattended to go party should seriously go to hell. They should. You can't leave kids like that. The parents should be ridden from their supervision of the kids and jailed if anything. They should be forced to take parenting class where they are placed in so many situations that will make sure that they don't leave their kids alone like that. If they leave them at a babysitters for a couple of hours and then go party I am ok with that atlest the child is being supervisied by an adult. Parents need to blow of some steam too but not at the cost of their children.
1 person likes this
@AJsMom (157)
• Philippines
3 Oct 11
I think the first thing to check on the mother is her psychological state or mental state. It's hard to believe that a mother would put her young one's life in a risk. It is an instinct to be overly protective to our young ones sometimes to the point of paranoia. We would want to make sure that the babies are free from anything that would harm them. In my case, if I had to leave my baby under the care of my mother whom I trusted so much, my mind would always be with my little one making sure that I come home immediately because I want to care for her personally and as much as possible I want to see her all the time. I think that if a mother is in her right sense, she would never, ever risk leaving her baby unattended just to party around. It is not just about immaturity, it is about insanity.
@tash01 (2032)
• Jamaica
17 Sep 11
Many young mother are party person, and some of them don't leave the kids with adult.They left them lock up in the house,and then when to party which is not right.It happens a lot here in Jamaica,and mother's need to stop leave their kids in the house alone. It's a tragic thing to do an i feel it for the kids who have lost they life,the punishment the parent should receive is to burn in the same fire too. These parents now a days nee t o spend time with their kids,are if they are going they should leave the kids with a adult their.This kind of thing happen in Jamaica a lot,and some mothers are behind bars because of this.
@mantis36 (4238)
• Philippines
18 Aug 11
I know a person who's Child walking on the road die due to bumped by a truck while his father was in the small town lottery playing.... his child begging him a candy but his father won't give his child a candy so that child run away and news later after 15 minutes, the disaster happens next...
@cream97 (29168)
• United States
12 Jul 10
Hi, ronnyb. I think that the parent should be punished. The mother of course. If the father was not at home and the kids were not into his care, I don't think that he should be punished at all. He probably did not know anything about this. A mother should stop being so careless and be a mom to her kids. Were the children at home alone when this fire broke out? Where was their father? A punishment of allowing the mom life in prison will be a far greater sentence than anything.
• India
10 Feb 09
If she is a normal mother and woman and human being, then the hell she would be in for the rest of her life, should be enough punishment for her. If indeed we need to hand out punishments and be judgmental on such issues (these incidents are occurring with shocking regularity), then we must turn the clock back and start from the beginning itself when women were required to venture out to earn bread for the family. In Europe and the USA I think this started after the wars (not sure). Gradually, need changed to habit and then to compulsion and we ourselves could not realise when we crossed the threshold of innocent fun to irresponsible family, when our society ceased to function like one big family and instead look after it’s own momentary pursuits like there is no tomorrow! I feel very very sorry for this girl…when this is actually the norm (and for some maybe a statement even) hard luck that she had to pay this way! And the father…the least said the better...I wonder how many young age couples actually understand the meaning and responsibility of the word ‘parent’ before taking the plunge! Hand out the contraceptives at the kindergarten…save the future babies
@faith210 (11233)
• Philippines
10 Feb 09
Hi ronnyb! That is really very irresponsible for the mother in leaving their children with no adult supervision. I do think that they should be sent to prison so that other people will think twice before doing the same irresponsible behavior. I don't think that the father should be jointly charged on this because having the children in your custody means you are responsible for them while in your care. Just a thought! Take care and have a great day! lovelots..faith
• Brazil
9 Feb 09
That's terrible. Yes, I think the mother should be punished, and get jail time. She shouldn't go out and leave the child alone at home. It's ok to go out to a party and have some time for yourself, but make sure you find a babysitter to stay with your child. Because leaving a child alone at home is neglect, a child doesn't know what he/she is doing, they always find something to get hurt, or to brake, or even worse set fire in the house! She should get punished.
@laglen (19782)
• United States
9 Feb 09
That is just sick, the mother should get jail. And where is the father? You mentioned single family homes. I am so sick of men not taking responsibility.
• United States
9 Feb 09
I think this is the worst thing that could happen. To me the parent should've had that kid taken away long before this happened. There was probably other neglectful things going on in this type of situation. It's sad and makes me feel that these parents probably never really wanted the responsibility of these poor children. I'm not sure if I would hold the other parent 100% responsible for this, but definately some. They had to know how the other was acting towards their child. This to me is one of the worst crimes out there! The parent should spend a very long time rotting in jail!
• United States
8 Feb 09
We have so many stories like this here in the states that I'm unsure what the best answer is. We could say punish the women, but will that really solve the problem? Perhaps better spent is money on education. If there was not such a stigma on young mothers and proper education was provided, and support given perhaps we'd not have these types of incidents occuring? It's difficult to say, but perhaps that is the best place to start. I think parenting classes are definately beneficial for young parents as well as any age parent. I also am a believer in a community raising a child, so indeed providing some sort of sitter arrangements so that parents could get time out away from the children is a plus. It is very difficult on any age parent to remain cooked up 24/7 with children. It is not that we do not love our children, but every person needs and requires time by themselves away from children in order to continue to be a good parent. Though, I'm unfamiliar with the culture of your island that I'm not sure what would be considered appropriate.
• United States
8 Feb 09
The father shouldn't be charged if he Never knew he was a dad. If they had joint custody and he Knew she was leaving the child alone,then he could be charged.If a child is hurt or killed , then the mom needs to be charged but instead of putting her in jail, if she has other kids, she needs those kids to be sent to relatives until she gets parenting classes.If this child was her only child, then she should do some sort of community service.It is sad but there are many mothers who don't know how to be moms.Some just need help. Others will never get it.
@TLChimes (4842)
• United States
8 Feb 09
If this is such a huge problem maybe the community should look at ways to help end it. Like maybe they can do a sitting group. Some stay with the kids this week and then the next week they switch. That way everyone gets a chance out and the kids are watched. A community center could be set up and as a service the mother could work some hours. Hard but there needs to be consequences to this kind of thing or it will never end.
@kerriannc (4280)
• Jamaica
7 Feb 09
Too many parties are in Jamaica. Every day there is one and the authorities need to put a stop to it. As for the mother she need to be put in the gallows and hang.
@sataness (321)
7 Feb 09
The child shouldn't have been left unattended at young ages. The know what part of the problem is? The young mothers are then alienated from society after giving birth, teenage pregnancies and young adults are tending to be frowned upon for giving birth rather than choosing abortion or other. I dont know about there but it's the message in England. As a result the mothers feel that friends aren't beside them now, hence attempts to go into partying modes, they are still young. There is only so much you can teach at school. Common knowledge is not to leave the baby unattended, it's taught but not always followed. I do believe the mother should be punished with neglect but i would also like to enquire as to where her family are or the father. You can't simply expect a young adult to make a dramatic change in small time, it's something that they can't control. Yeah, they do a grown up thing and so they should face the consequences be it a baby or otherwise...but there's only so much you can blame young mothers and 'immaturity'. A babysitter, family support, father awareness... none of them are questioned? I hope she does get punished for her actions...but maybe some classes for the families of pregnant youth and fathers should be given too on how to deal with it. If the father wasn't meant to be at the place then why should he be charged? Maybe he should be made more aware of the situation to help. It seems the mother intentionally neglected the child and therefore she must pay the price for child neglect.
@deebomb (15323)
• United States
7 Feb 09
I agree with cyberfluf. something else that might help is more education for the kids while still in school before the girls and boys become parents. They could be educated to the fact that children should not be left alone and just how dangerous it can be. here in the States some schools have a class that includes the kids taking a live like baby to care for. These dolls are programed to cry needing fed or changed and sometimes just cuddled. It give the kids an idea of what parenting involves. Maybe with such a program there might be less single parents that are so young.
@savak03 (6681)
• United States
7 Feb 09
Children are a gift from God and should be treasured and cared for. When a person has a child their lives must change because now they are responsible for another life than just their own. There are so many ways to prevent pregnancy now that to get pregnant when you don't want to have children is unnecessary at best and criminal at worst. Never the less, when you have a child the child's welfare must take priority over your own welfare and especially over any social life you feel you deserve. That being said I think they should throw the book at the parents, both of them, even if it is a one parent household. It took two people to make the child so they are both responsible for it's well being. That is my opinion stated as kindly as I can.