your parents disapprove of your guy coz his dad has schizophrenia. what to do?

I don't think schizophrenia is a reason to leave your partner if you love him. I do think it's a definite reason not to have children, though, and you probably should keep in mind that your partner's mental condition could worsen over time making it very difficult to maintain the relationship in the long-term. I understand your parents' concerns and they do seem to be looking out for you, but maybe you should just make it clear how much you love this person and how much it hurts you that your parents don't accept him. It's not your partner's fault that he has schizophrenia, anyway -- it's not fair to blame him.

Hello Doc, It seems like it's a 'cut & dry' Montague & Capulet kind of question, where the obvious answer is to immediately denounce the parent(s) for trying to interfere with their child's right to happiness. And, yet it's not! There are many questions to consider. Below are just a few: 1. Is/are the disapproving parent(s) wise, and inserting themselves based on love and perhaps knowledge or experience with neurobiological disorders? Or, are they acting out of prejudicial, intollerant or perhaps just meddlesome qualities? 2. Is/are the parent(s) actively trying to undermine the relationship or just strongly urging their child to move on, before it potentially permanently, negatively affects his or her life? 3. Do the parent(s) and the son or daughter have a solid, healthy relationship, and this is the first major boyfriend/girlfriend bump? 4. Is the son or daughter of the constitution and character to be able to handle the kinds of challenges that accompany living with an individual with a neurobiological disorder? This isn't an easy hypothetical for a number of reasons. Not the least of which is that even if the spouse is never afflicted with schizophrenia, having mentally ill in-laws can, and very likely will have a negative impact on the marriage. Add to that the increased risk of the potential spouse becoming afflicted down the road, as well as the potential risk of genetically passing Schizophrenia on to future children. Sometimes pragmatism really should be considered. The Moody Blues did a song back in the 80s (maybe earlier) titled "22,000 days". The subject of which was that the average person will live on this Earth for 22,000 days. If the couple of which we speak will, when all is said and done, have been married for 30 years then 10,950 is what the son or daughter is ponying up as ante. That's a potential 10,950 happy, content, satisfied days. Or, it's a potential 10,950 miserable, contentious, confused, worried, etc... days, or some combination thereof. Though, what can be banked on is that the disease will effect both families, to one degree or another. Contrary to the drivel that has dominated the greeting card industry -- love does NOT conquer all. If I was a parent, and my son or daughter was dating someone with a strong family history of schizophrenia I would definitely urge my son of daughter to not make such a wager. Living with a schizophrenic is not a walk in the park. It takes a unique individual to make a relationship with a partner with a neurobiological disorder work. If my son or daughter was not of the constitution and character to be able to effectively handle such a challenge, I as the parent, would probably have a good idea about it. And it's not just the son or daughter who does NOT have the Schizophrenic father that we should be concerned about. We should be equally concerned for both. Many people who suffer from neurobiological disorders end up in horribly abusive relationships. The last thing a Schizophrenic needs is to end up marrying someone who will act out on their underlying, irrational blame of the partner for the disease! That would be a terribly cruel twist of fate. For the sake of all involved, the decision must be weighed very carefully.

sounds to me like the parents are being ignorant. Life has risks so does love, and some risks are worth taking

Hi there. If I really love the guy why should I give up? Yeah, Schizophrenia is genetic but there's a necessary treatment and medicine for it. Why give up sudden just for that cause, I will pray hard that If ever will be together and get married..I will pray hard not to inherit by my baby, And If still happen I will accept it.

Even with a parent that has schizophrenia it is still pretty unlikely they will get it. I mean they have a greater chance than someone without a family history. Also I don't think that the increased chance would be enough to throw away a good realtionship. That being said I probably would watch them a little closer. Schizophrenia usually starts small and them progresses into something dangerous.