What do you consider cheating?

By Amy
Abernathy, Texas
February 18, 2009 5:47pm CST
My husband is such a homebody that I couldn't even imagine him cheating. Besides having high blood pressure and a cute buddha belly which would get in the way of adding another person to his um schedule. And besides work, he's always here, at his computer playing World of Warcraft. I suppose he could be carrying on a virtual affair in that virtual world he prefers to the real one. But I don't think so, in fact, were someone flirting or coming on to him online or in reality, I honestly don't think he would notice or realize it. I'm too loyal and too obsessed with words to. The words we spoke at our marriage - if we break these vows rather than mutually dissolving them, then it lessens the force of any future words we speak. In a sense you cheat yourself and you cheat your future spouse and anyone else you speak a promise to. But what do you consider cheating? I started thinking of this when watching Oprah. She says that if you're doing anything with another that you wouldn't do in front of your spouse then its cheating. I guess I believe that, heavy flirting, sitting in someone's lap, brushing someone's thigh purposely etc. And of course emotional cheating, talking to someone on an intimate level, replacing the close conversations you would normally have with your spouse. I think there can be emotional cheating just as there can be emotional incest - in the abscence of a partner when a parent transfers all of the emotional things s/he would have with that spouse, unloading frustrations, sadnessess etc on child. Keeping them from friends because they need their prescence etc. So what do you think? Is cheating purely physical? And if so, if you kiss someone on the lips in a sensual way or french kiss - is that cheating? If you never touch but carry on an affair through instant messaging is that cheating? Do you think there is such a thing as emotional cheating? Me - I think its all cheating. Unless of course you're an actor rehearsing or playing a part.
1 person likes this
2 responses
@jillhill (37383)
• United States
19 Feb 09
I think you make a promise to someone.....and if you break that promise by doing any of the above...that's cheating....
• Abernathy, Texas
19 Feb 09
Great point. So it sounds like you feel all of the above - emotional or physical intimacy equals cheating.
@modstar (9610)
• Philippines
18 Feb 09
I think that is considered cheating in a sense that's already bothering or affecting you. Cheating is not limited to the physical aspects. The moment there's a tension in a relationship because of a third party, virtually or not, i guess that's considered cheating.
• Abernathy, Texas
19 Feb 09
I would agree. And why invite trouble into a relationship? Of course some people don't limit jealousy/source of tension to a person, they maybe jealous of a car, time away for work or friends, they may be jealous of time you give to a best friend or family member.