Love each other, not tear each other down....

@cream97 (29175)
United States
March 2, 2009 12:51pm CST
Why does it seem that family is not family anynmore these days? Why do they talk down on one another and make others feel bad about themselves? Why do they spread gossip about each other? Why do they tell peoples business to other people? When they see you falling they should pray for you and not wish you bad. If they don't like a situation, then they should not say anything about it if they are not going to help make the situation better. You know the kind of family that I have, the one that talks about another, but never lifts a finger to help out. Do you have any family that is like this in your family?
6 people like this
16 responses
@jannpa (499)
• United States
2 Mar 09
I agree with what you are saying. It does seem like there is no "family" to family like there used to be. It seems like no one cares about anyone but themselves. If you do something that someone doesn't like then you're no good. I used to get in fights with my sisters when we were younger, they were always doing things that I didn't like, so, according to me, they were bad. As we grew up I discovered just how silly this was, they are my sisters & brother & I love them no matter what. We are all older now, live in different places & do no get to see each other much at all & we all found out how much we miss being together. Life is too short to hold a grudge. I've seen too many of my relatives die & I was never able to say good-bye or I love you to them. Now my mother & her 2 sisters are arguing over some silly thing that happened when my mother was visiting them. Neither one of them are in good health & who knows how much longer they will be around. It's just all so crazy. People should be thankful to have family & friends who love them & not let such trifle things separate them.
@kquiming (2999)
• Philippines
2 Mar 09
well i guess every family has its own issues and flaws and mine is a very screwed up one. but even so i would definitely say i am sure there is still love among us even if we may not show it at times, especially when everyone's on each other's nerves and yelling and all that. like what they say, after the storm comes the sun.. very much like how my family works.
2 people like this
@moondancer (7434)
• United States
3 Mar 09
I just love how people tell others about our short comings and they do all they can to avoid us and not help us when we need it. NOT! A family and friends especially should help the ones they love and care for. I know I have helped others even when I really couldn't afford to. I have givn the only money I have to others many many times. I still do. I help my family, my brothers, mother, in-laws, children and grandchildren. I even help strangers people on the street. The neighbors anyone. I feel that is what I can do. I can't do alot but I do what I can. It's just me and what I do. I'll do without to help others. Why doesn't everyone help others? Why do others put family and friends down when they are already down financially or in health? I just don't understand it.
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Mar 09
You have low self asteem and low thoughts of yourself. Being fat has nothing to do with people liking you. It's the attitude. I'm also a big person an everyone I meet likes me. Like wise I like everyone and will speak to anyone. I'm a friendly person. It's what you project to others that has them like you or not like you. Try being more positive and friendly toward people. Try not caring how big you are. You can dress nicely and be pretty no matter your size. As for your family not helping you, ask yourself why they don't help. Is it your negative attitude? Do you appreciate when someone does help you? Do you try helping yourself not totally wanting to rely on others? Many people will not hlp someone if they don't try helping themself. They will give up trying. I wish you the best and hop you get some self assurance.
1 person likes this
@kerriannc (4282)
• Jamaica
4 Mar 09
You know moondancer there are persons that definately does not like others. If that person is progressive there will always be competition and hatred. What this person need to do is stop reaching out to others but to build his/her self esteem. You cannot change another attitude towards you what you can do is instead be positive in your thinking. You moondancer are doing the things that I used to do and this cannot make others love or like you. I used to give my last and when I became sick there were no friends nor family around me. Then I realized that it was just the kindness that they were after and not the friendship that I thought was there. I think that you should be considerate of others. This person said that she is fat telling her that she has low self esteem will not stop it. Instead you could point her to blogs that speak about others who has overcome their low self esteem. Being boastful is not something nice. I hope that one day you will open your eyes and see that family members and friends are only preying on you because you are kind. Be smart before you go into the trap that I went into and discovered what human being are capable of. Have a nice day Kerry
@1hopefulman (17662)
• Canada
2 Mar 09
I have a family where we help each other. We keep in touch. We visit. When one needs help we're there. I have many good friends that I can count on in time of need. But family life is definitely going downhill. I think religion, the schools, the kind of entertainment produced, are all failing to teach us to love and are teaching us how to hate. But then again I'm not surprised one bit. Just take your Bible and read 2 Timothy chapter three. We can be different. We don't have to follow the crowd if it's going the wrong way. We can be the good example. Maybe others will follow in our footsteps.
1 person likes this
@cream97 (29175)
• United States
2 Mar 09
Yes, being of God, will make our lives a living proof that God does exist and he resides in us all.
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
2 Mar 09
Every family has at least one black sheep in their family. Everybody. Including me. The best thing you can do is ignore them and not tell them everything. That includes your sister if she's still talking to them. Another thing, just because they're blood relation doesn't make them family. Love, supporting one another, listening to one another and so on is family. The saying blood is thicker than water is BS. What's in the heart is family.
1 person likes this
@cream97 (29175)
• United States
2 Mar 09
I say that blood is thicker than water. But. I agree with you. It is BS! From my own personal experience, it seems that strangers treat you better than your own family.. So yes, CatsandDogs, you have a good point here!
• United States
4 Mar 09
my immediate family will help each other out but forget my extended family.. a lot of families are like that now sadly.. usually at best there is 1 or 2 people that really care and try to hold everyone together while every one else doesnt give a crap and its really sad
1 person likes this
@kerriannc (4282)
• Jamaica
3 Mar 09
You have describe what I have been through and still going through cream but what I realize that we fight not against flesh and blood but principalities and rulers of dark places. Cream don't look at your family look at your life and how you can maintain a healthy surrounding for your husband and children which are your family because the others outside of this are your relatives which you don't necessary need. I am going to encourage you to read my blog and see what I have been through and how I overcome and still overcoming because I realized that when you make what others say about you put you down, you will only be in depression and never try to come out of their bondage. There is a song that say [b]'I pray for you, you pray for me, I won't harm you with words from my mouth' we are all apart of God's body. [/b] Alot of persons does not know that the words we speak about another is powerful and so in order not to make it be harmful you who are receiving it and seeing that it is a negative should break it in the name of Jesus at the same time. Here is the link http://ksurrina.com. Be positive minded Cream. I used to make what my father said to me hurt me so deeply but I have a mother who has always try to encourage me and it is because of her I can still continue to fight life and I know that you can also fight it for your children don't give up. Kerry
1 person likes this
• Philippines
3 Mar 09
let's face the fact that all families have issues to deal with..but i believe that even there are so many issues that a family has still love will never fade..
1 person likes this
@jpso138 (7844)
• Philippines
3 Mar 09
That is quite sad to hear. I believe that this happens in most cases. I do agree with you that instead of hurting and making gossip, people should help each other. If they have nothing else good to say, it is much better to shut up. But sad to note that there are people like that, who always make a gossip and likes to destroy people. Family or not there are people like that.
@mansha (6301)
• India
3 Mar 09
May e the stresses of the daily living , more competiton in the job markets and out of four brothers one doing too well puts all other in jealousy, thats why we keep trying to pul each other down just like rats trying to swim out of water, that drwon other rats so hardly any can escape. I have felt that in my family too. I for one don't care for inheritence or money but his brothers do and somehow that money is getting involved in relationships and spoiling the love between brothers.
1 person likes this
@JenInTN (27565)
• United States
3 Mar 09
Hi cream! I did but as soon as my grandfather passed I left and never looked back. I have since had my own children and created an environment that I felt was "healthy" for me and mine. This is by no means for everyone but it was for me. I regret it from time to time but versus staying I think it was best. I have been on my own since I was 16 and it has by no means been easy but it was a choice I had to live with. I hope I can give to mine what I never had..so far I haven't done half bad.
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Mar 09
Yes I know what you mean I see alot of families do this and it's sad that they do. My family has been this way and i totally distance myself from all of them for i don't need that i have my friends that are better at careing for eachother than my own family now that's sad when it should be the other way around.
1 person likes this
@faith210 (11233)
• Philippines
3 Mar 09
Hi cream dear! Oh that is so sad! I am disappointed and sad too with a few members of my family who behave that way. I just try to avoid talking personal matters with them and try to co-exist with them harmoniously as much as I can. I guess, we can not really change people and make them behave the way we want them to be or how they should suppose to behave. I do hope that they realize what they are doing and maybe find in their hearts to change for the good. I just pray that I won't let hatred and anger grow in my heart and hoping that they will change somehow. Take care and blessings to you! lovelots..faith
2 Mar 09
Hi cream97, Some families are like that, I have a brother who does that, he loves to stirr things things between the siblings and make it never came from him and thiinks he is hard done by. Yes I think families should stick together but you know they can't help their jealousy, so don't worry its their lost not yours. Hugs. Tamara
• Philippines
2 Mar 09
Each family is different. Some families do talk about their problems with their friends and some even on national television. These families who "hang their dirty linens in public" are the once who ae irreconcilable and often bring their problems to court.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
12 Mar 09
same here, that's what kind of family i have too..i guess its very rare to find a good ones and for those who has..lucky them..i hate to say it but mine are awful as heLL they don't have something good to tell about me and my family..they always try to pull me down and tell stories that undignified me..more and more i just let them be..the more i talk back face to face the more they wont stop..I'd just say i don't wanna go down their level..no way i would..