someone who love you or someone you love?

Philippines
March 10, 2009 2:07am CST
would you rather go for someone who love you or for someone you love? got caught up in a middle of a situation... really confusing. i have gone in a 5 years relationship with someone who i really love but everything is so messed up with us being together... we do fight for little things, but i think that is part of it... however, every now and then i caught him flirting with someone, thou i only caught him with his cellphone and some messages over the internet [well, i think its not right to check on one's private messages] but i always accept his explanations. we broke up once and met someone who is really the type of man that i like, i enjoyed his company and i admit that i fell inlove with him... but not as much as what i felt with my previous partner. so to make the story short... i end up having a reconciliation with my prev partner... all my friends even i myself knows that it will be much better to have the other one but even if i'm getting hurt over and over again i chose to get back to my my 5 years relationship... if you will be on the same situation would you rather be happy but you know there is someone you really love or get hurt with someone you're deeply inlove with?
6 people like this
29 responses
@kirei24 (252)
• Philippines
10 Mar 09
for me someone i love.. why? its because im the type of person who would always follow my heart.. i will be more happy if i serve the one i love even than the other way around. and i think its unfair for the one who loves me to give him hope even though i know in my heart that in the end its always the other guy.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
10 Mar 09
yah... just what i thought... its really unfair, to yourself and to the one who love you... in the end you'll end up fooling yourself as well... but still i need to think about it....
• India
10 Mar 09
according to me i would go for someone who loves me most rather than for the one that i love bcoz it's all about sacrifices that u should know how the person who loves u most would be feeling if u don't accept him it would just break his heart & also u will be on the safer side .
1 person likes this
• Philippines
10 Mar 09
if you stayed with the one who loves you, would you thnk that you will also break his/her heart if he learned that you just accept him because you want to b on a safer side? cause that's what i'm thinking, i thought that if i go with him and then at the end i'll still end up loving the same person then i would still break his heart? maybe i'm just to scared to take the risk and also afraid to loose him as my friend....
@mamalev (264)
• Philippines
10 Mar 09
I'd prefer someone who loves me more than I love him. Because it's easier to learn to love someone who already loves you. You're just self destructing if you allow yourself to love someone who doesn't deserve that love. I know of a person who loves her husband that she has forgotten what pride means and how to love herself.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
10 Mar 09
uhmmm.. it might no be about loosing your pride or fogetting how to love your self it might be that she is just acepting the fact that they are already tied together and maybe sticking to the fact that it might still work...
• India
10 Mar 09
I would prefer someone who love me.In this situation I don't have any worry,I know he/she loves me very much.The only thing I have to do is that start loving him/her and I am sure I will get love.I the case you love someone there is risk that if you love him/her it is possible thet he/she loves someone else and the situation results in broken heart.In the first case there is no risk for me as well as that person because I will responce to his/her love,that is the reason why I prefer someone loves me!Happy mylloting!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
10 Mar 09
can you really teach your heart to love someone? is it not just a way of giving the favor back to the one who love you? thanks for the response... i'll think of it....
@neha2k94u (408)
• India
12 Mar 09
Well I always have been behind those, whom I love.I know this isn't a good thing but wat should I do, I cant help it. I always used used to stay away from most of those who cared a lot for me and that too for just one I liked... Well its my nature... Happy mylotting dear!!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
11 Mar 09
A friendly advice: if I were you, I will not go back to my previous relationship. If you always fight about little things, then there's nothing good being with him. You need to grow with love. Never go back if he's cheating on you, a cheater is always a cheater. You deserve a better man. Life goes on...so move on. Love somebody who is worthy of your love and trust. "Love is not just a feeling, it is a work on progress"-- Leonardo Talpo
1 person likes this
@Canellita (12058)
• United States
10 Mar 09
You need to take a break from ALL relationships to gain some perspective and figure out who you are and what you need. It seems you are picking the 5 year person because it is familiar. However, based on the information about the second person it would seem this relationship might be more healthy. If you are not careful you can lose both.
1 person likes this
@bezzamae (447)
• Philippines
10 Mar 09
its really hard to be in that scenario.. but for me, i would rather choose the one i love. i wanna show to him how much i love him and how much im willing to do everything just to win his heart. because i always believe that patience is a virtue. and with that virtue, u can get the things that u always want to have. loving is about waiting also for the right moment to act.
1 person likes this
@srganesh (6348)
• India
10 Mar 09
I think you have taken the right decision.Good or bad,get with a person who you love so much.At least we marry a loved one.We shall convince our partner saying the same."see,I love you.It is always said that it is good to marry someone who loves you.And here I am loving you.Take me!".I vote for you.Go on.Cheers!
@yAks89 (589)
• Philippines
11 Mar 09
I'll go for someone I love. It is because I'd rather take the chance to be hurt than to hurt someone else.
• Philippines
11 Mar 09
same as what i felt.... i would rather let my self be hurt raather that both of us... i think that if i would choose the one who loves me, i'm not only hurting myself but him as well.... i don't wanna mess up with our friendship as well.
• United States
12 Apr 09
If I really loved him but we keep hurting each other, I would have to leave but I would still love him very much . but I would want him to be happy and if we keep hurting each other , he isn't happy.But I wouldn't stay with th one who loved me either. If I don't love him as much as he loves me and there is no hope that my feelings will ever change, I wouldn't want to lead him on. It wouldn't be fair.
@intari (191)
• Indonesia
13 Mar 09
it will beautiful if we love someone and that someone love our too but sometimes not always like that. i ever felt in love with a man.but he didn't love me.it's ok with me.i just wanna he be happy and always smiling.though i never been in his heart.love doesn't mean have to belong each other, does it?i and he sill be a friends.but lately i never know how he is.i hope he and his family always be fine and happy.
• Italy
12 Mar 09
I always go for the pplz who love me becoz they will care for you and never let you down and in this way you will stay happy forever. PPlz will always be around you to support you in your bad & sad times. On the other hand whom you love will not consider you as much to be cared he will just try to pass his time with you until both of you fall in true love. If both are in love that is a perfect situation but unfortunately this not happens mostly in our real life. You have experienced yourself that whom you love does not take good care of you and you catch him cheating many times. he is just passing his life with you as you are an additional facility for him. He will never stop doing all this in future also as he knows you love him and he says just some sorry words again and you will accept his apologizes. In this way you will always keep on hurt yourself. A feeling of hurting will be constantly with yo. I suggest you to be with one who loves you he will never let you down.
@mansha (6301)
• India
11 Mar 09
I would rather be someone who loves me then someone I love as with time you will fall in love with that person too, if he loves you truly he will make it happen for surte. The other path is laden with misery and sorrow and hurt. Its like banging your head on the wall. I am sorry you chose the path of being disappointed , I fortunately breroke the pattern early on and now I am very happy with a partner who appreciates me and has helped me grow as a person too.
@Mathurin (491)
• Philippines
11 Mar 09
just this, if you stick to one situation and it remains a one-sided affair, you are just being unfair, whether it is you who loves or who are loved... you will be unfair to yourself or to your partner but if you are to give weight, give a little time for the one who cares... maybe you are being blinded by the promise of a greener pasture by the one you are eyeing while all this time the right one for you is just a hand's reach....
• United States
11 Mar 09
I come from great experience in these matters. I was married for 13 years to a man that loved me more than I loved him, then I was in a relationship for 7 years with someone I loved more than they loved me. I would much rather go with someone that felt the same about me as I do them. When you have an unbalanced love, well, it won't balance in the end just because you hope that it will. I am not in either one of those relationships anymore. I hurt the first one much more than he deserved because I wasn't happy. I got my heart torn out by the second one and I wouldn't ever want to feel that way again. I am finally in a relationship where we both love each other equally. Things couldn't be better. That's the kind of life we should all hope for. Don't settle for less. It's not worth it in the end.
• Malaysia
11 Mar 09
i would go for someone i love because i rather take the risk being rejected than me rejecting someone's love. yes, love can be nurtured, but if the feeling is not there, why bother?
@sandymay48 (2031)
• Canada
10 Mar 09
Hi there, I would definately choose the one who loves me, if you feel you can love him back. It wouldnt be fair to lead him on either. The one in the 5 year relationship, has mistreated you and your trust. Staying with him, would only let you in for a life of misery and questioning. Life is too short for that. I think maybe he is more of a habit. Perhaps when you decide to stay away for a good length of time and see someone else, that you love to, that you will see the difference. I think you are feeling safe with the one you know. Give your heart a second chance and go with the one who loves you in return.
@csrobins (1125)
• United States
10 Mar 09
I would rather learn and choose to love someone who loved me first. Because I know I can do that if they love me. Maybe never as much as they do, but I want to know I am loved. I cannot be with someone that does not love me because no matter how much I want to love them I will not end up loving someone who cannot reciprocate the same towards me.
• United States
10 Mar 09
This is a hard situation. But If I had to choose I would choose the one who treats me good. not the one who disrespects me, flirts with other women, and possibly cheating on me with other women. although you've been with him for 5 years doesn't mean its real love. maybe its his un full commitment that keeps you wanting him more. Love sometimes isn't present right away and the other guy who treats you good, may one day grow into a greater love... sometimes it takes someone hurting you to show you what real love is suppose to feel like. I dated alot of guys and no one has ever treated me nearly as good as my husband... we worships the ground I walk on and although I can say I've had a greater love for one of my past boyfriends I wouldn't trade him in for the world... value yourself and the way people treat you because in the end, its only you