you're not the marrying type, are you?

Philippines
March 10, 2009 12:28pm CST
do you want to get married? or perhaps you already are? has anyone ever dared assume that you're not the marrying type? what do you do when someone tells you, "you don't seem like the marrying type"? what exactly is the marrying type, anyway? and if you're not the marrying type, do you think there are certain traits you have that make you that type? ^_^
8 people like this
24 responses
@sandymay48 (2031)
• Canada
10 Mar 09
I dont know if there really is such a thing as the marrying type, or if its something we all feel when we find the right person. Without the right one, why would we want to marry! Now there are some that dont want committment, that enjoy flirting and freedom to do as they please and not have to worry about anyone else. For me that would be a lonely life, even if I had 5oo friends! But even those type, can someday find the right person and want to marry. Nobody should be the marrying type unless they are willing to spend the rest of their lives with the one they love. Applying for a marriage license is like applying for a life long job. You should try your best to work hard at it every day.
2 people like this
• Philippines
11 Mar 09
hi, sandymay! lol that's a great point! why on earth would you be the marrying type if you don't have anyone you wanna get married to? hehe ^_^ yes, i think that to become the "marrying type," you have to be with someone you are willing to bet your life on.
2 people like this
@suzzy3 (8357)
10 Mar 09
The marrying type I am I like security and the thought of having a career outside the home is something that would not appeal to me.To have kids is my way of living ,bringing them up and getting them ready for the world gives me so much satisfaction it is not a cop out,working partime when times get hard is something I have always done up till two years ago when I gave up work completely.Staying at home is extrememly hard work,being responsible for others making sure the clothes are clean and the meals are healthy.I am also faithful so marrying for me was the best thing I ever did.If you don't feel like this then maybe you are not the marrying kind.You have to be able to stay in a relationship ,stay faithful.If you feel tied down you have not met the right partner some people like the thought of marriage but the practical side can be extremely difficult for some.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
11 Mar 09
you don't have to justify being a stay-at-home mom; being a housewife is a full-time job! ^_^ if anything, mothers should get paid for doing such a tough job at home! lol ^_^ marriage is not easy. so many people want to get married but ften find the wrong person to get married to. i hope i don't make that mistake. i can't say i look forward to being a mom so much as i know that it's sooo hard! but i also know it will be worth it. ^_^
2 people like this
@cream97 (29166)
• United States
10 Mar 09
H, sandragellar! I am married. And the married type to me, is someone, whom is ready to settle down with one person to share a life with them, loyally. That is what marriage means to me. If someone says that you don't seem like the marrying type, it might be the way that this person presents themselves. Someone may have watched their actions when it comes to relationships, and they may think that they are not marriage material. But, if that person is, then they can choose to get married if they desire. Traits that make you the marrage type would be. Honesty, loyalty, faithfulness, being considerate to another, kind, understanding, caring, loving, dependable, trustworthy, sincere, confident in ones feeling for another, sweet, generous, compassionate and easy going.. All these and other positive traits make a person the marrying type. But deciding to get married comes straight from the heart, not so much the mind..
1 person likes this
• Philippines
11 Mar 09
hi there! perhaps in a figurative manner of speaking, it does come from the heart. but i keep remembering that emotions come from the brain so it still comes from the mind (literally speaking). but that's mincing words, so you'll have to bear with me. ^_^ what matters is that becoming someone fit for marriage is a long-term transition, based on one's tastes and characteristics. and some people don't even know they've "transitioned" into the marrying type, so it kinda is like it comes from the heart... ^_^
1 person likes this
@tea512 (687)
• United States
10 Mar 09
i am married and for years people told me i was not the marrying type. They in my case did not think i could be faithful, committed to the hard work, get a custom to a settled down lifestyle. they were wrong all i had to do was find the right person i have been married once and it lasted 9 years and going strong.
1 person likes this
• United States
10 Mar 09
I have no idea if I am the marrying type. I have been proposed by a-lot of women. I have been married once already. I do really believe in the vows. I take them very seriously(very). When I get married again, it will be for the last time. Once should be enough. Things happen. I do not like people who get married a few times. Are we not supposed to work it out before we divorce?? I mean, the great majority of divorces that I have seen, been around, could have been avoided. If one say they love, do they not want to show it, prove it. Make the person they love feel it, believe it? This is a very touchy subject for me. I do want the married life. I would have to be with my loved one for several years before I would even consider it. If they are willing to stick it by my side, for better and worse. Then I will. Once I say That I love a person...........I really mean it!! I will do what it takes for her, to tell her ( everyday she is special to me), make her feel like she should. My Love!! Maybe I come off as the not to be type. I just take the vows too seriously. One should get married for life. For better or for worse! Not to just take off at the worse, but to stick it out!!
• United States
11 Mar 09
It is not the want...I do, Just being patience. It has got to be right. Needs to last longer than my first. Thanks!!
@buggles64 (2715)
• United States
11 Mar 09
I want to be married, and I have been married and I am definitely the marrying type. I believe in the marriage institution; however, being married should not mean having to give up your independence. I believe if I want to work outside the home, my partner would also want that for me. I enjoy meeting people, and I also enjoy taking care of my family. I honestly believe you can have the best of both worlds. If I was married, I wouldn't want to work full time, but I would definitely want to work, at least part time. I don't want to sit home and watch soap operas all day, and I want to feel like I am contributing to the welfare of my family. I don't know if anyone has ever considered me the "not marrying type" because I have been married. I love almost everything about being married. Someone to share your goals and dreams with, someone to walk beside you and to not only share the good times but also the bad. Someone to be there at night when you turn out the lights. And someone to grow old with...yes, I am definitely the marrying type.
• Philippines
11 Mar 09
then i'm happy for you. ^_^ not everyone is as lucky. some married people don't get to do what they want to do because sacrifices have become a necessity. perhaps it's possible for some to have the best of both worlds, but not everyone is as fortunate... :(
@fasyahime (634)
• Malaysia
11 Mar 09
well,i think my family background discourage me to ever get married..lot's my college mate already getting married and already give birth to child.i don't want to settle down with men and let him rule my life over..i can live without men and happy with it..what's wrong if woman doesn't want to get married...why should people discriminate woman who choose to be single.i never see they comment anything about single men..we are not breeding partner,we are human..i ma totally against marriage 100%..hate the idea to be ties with one men to the rest of my life,where the men can married with lot's of woman..what's our right??
• Philippines
11 Mar 09
whoa, men in your country can marry as many women as they want? in other countries, that's not allowed unless you end your previous marriage. in my country, only one marriage (and not several) at one time is allowed... i don't know if people here still discriminate single women. perhaps they do... still, men here don't just marry as many women as they want. ^_^
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
11 Mar 09
Marriage is a wonderful experience, if one understands what it entails, and there is nothing to replace it in terms of complete living. Many people remain single for some good reasons, but they shouldn't be viewed as 'not the marrying type". Afterall, to come down to home truths, these women do not agree, with some of the reasons for which people get married today - like getting away from doting mothers, loneliness, pregnancy or as an experience one must have before dying and then right before them are the results - so many humpty dumpty marriages which nobody is able to put together again. When they look around at some of their married friends, with defeat and frustration in their eyes, and regret echoed in every action, it is no wonder they say "I think I'll remain single."
• Philippines
11 Mar 09
people have their own reasons for choosing to either get married or remain single. it's true; a lot of people get married (or remain single) for all the wrong reasons. :( i'm also afraid that when i get married, the marriage won't work. hopefully, it will. ^_^
• United Kingdom
11 Mar 09
If someone said this to me then they would probably be right! I don't think I will ever get married although you can never tell what will happen in life as it is full of strange twists and turns. I think that it's everyone's choice though as to whether they get married or not. There's a lot of new information now stating that there are a lot of people who enjoy being single and there are also a lot of people that like the sense of freedom they experience from not being married. There are advantages to being married I suppose! I have no experience so I'm just speculating! I think that there might be a sense of security when you are married. There's always someone to talk to and share your feelings at the end of a hard day's work! All said and done, marriage is not for me right now. My thinking may change somewhere down the line! Andrew
• Philippines
11 Mar 09
yes, perhaps things may change. but even if it doesn't, why worry if you're enjoying the single life, right? ^_^ marriage has its perks. just as singlehood also does. married people don't have to be envious of single people and vice versa. you simply can't have both lives and it's alright to chose either, as long as you make the most of it and it's what you really want in life. ^_^
@skydancer (1982)
• United States
11 Mar 09
I happen to be asexual, meaning I have no desire or interest in a romantic relationship of any kind. I am certainly not the motherly type either, and never want to have kids. I may seem unusual for saying this, but I actually wish people would tell me I am not the marrying type more often. Usually all I get is people teasing me that "I'll change my mind." They think it's funny because I suppose they're expecting to have the last laugh when I change my mind. I don't find it funny at all because I know that will never happen and I wish people would see me for what I really am and accept that. I definitely believe a "marrying type" would take someone who is a little more extroverted than I am, and whose lives wouldn't be all-together destroyed if such a commitment were to keep them from living out their dreams. I may be wrong, but those are the two traits I am seeing that separate me from my peers the most. I also see much greater emotional comfort in relationships from these types. I am not a very open or emotional person when it comes to social relationships.I don't mean this to imply that I'm not a nice person; I am just not one of your "marrying" type ones...
• Philippines
11 Mar 09
hi there! oh, perhaps those people are having a hard time accepting who you are. or maybe they are trying to be polite and failing miserably. ^_^ yes, people who want to marry usually are comfortable sharing their entire life with someone else. if you're not like that, it shouldn't be a problem. marriage is not for everyone. singlehood is not "the second choice." ^_^
@silverjam (969)
• United States
11 Mar 09
I got married quite late (when I turned 40) and almost everybody told me the same thing before; they all jumped in a conclusion and tried to rationalized that am not the marrying type, in w/c I honestly feel true. I guess what people or even me myself considered as "the marrying type" are those who got married at the gauge of the so-called marrying age that ranges between 20-25; those who rerally seem to prepare themselves for marraige and has the determination that they will really get married someday and that it's the only rule of life a person should be. And I guess am not that type. When I was single I even wondered if I really get married or not. For me marraige would be the last thing I do if I have nothing to do w/ my life anymore. And if I got married, it must be something I wouldn't be regretting doing so unlike what I've seen in some of my friends'. And if I got married I should marry late so at least I had all the fun in my single life that I won't be doing anymore in marraige. My greatest fear was lossing my freedom. Another is the fear of child birth. The list can go on so I would say I was not the marrying-type. I never regret marrying late; although sometimes I know I was missing some fun in marraige which i could have enjoyed had I married earlier.
• Philippines
11 Mar 09
singlehood and marriage both have their perks. i understand where you're coming from. being single means not worrying about where to get money for your kids and their education. all you are supposed to take care of is yourself. if it's any consolation, i don't think anyone is really ever prepared for marriage. perhaps some people just believe that they're ready. but you see people who seem to be the marrying type, and they have a lot of trouble in their married lives... it is better to take your time when it comes to decisions like marriage. it is quite a commitment. i know what you mean about things you might have enjoyed in a married life had you married earlier. i fear that if i marry later, i might get in trouble when i get pregnant. but i wouldn't marry any earlier even if i i could go back in time. hopefully, for people like us who opt to marry late, we still get to reap its blessings in time. ^_^
@sanuanu (11238)
• India
12 Mar 09
Of course. I don't have a gf so, to do things which are necessary in life, i need to get married. LOL May be I am not that marrying type for someone but for someone I must be, So, i won't care if someone tells me that if I am not marrying type. God must have made someone for me.
• Australia
11 Mar 09
i wanna get marry and have my own family, but i dont know am i kind of marrying type...
• Philippines
11 Mar 09
Someone has told me that before as I don't commit myself easily to a relationship. I never have a serious relationship in the past but with my present bf, I am committing to him and I am sure that he is serious.
@lingli_78 (12844)
• Australia
11 Mar 09
i am definitely a marrying type because i am already married... i don't know what define a marrying type and not a marrying type of person... i think it really depends on individuals... it is entirely up to a person to make a decision whether he/she wants to get married or not... and i think it has nothing to do with people's traits... take care and have a nice day...
@ivan2000bd (1010)
• Sweden
11 Mar 09
when i was bachelor i was leiving a single life, life of freedom but after getting married i became marrying type.
• China
11 Mar 09
Well I am not ready to get married yet, hahaha, but I guess I am still the marrying type. In our country most of ppl are still the traditional tye to get married in their lives, though some are forced by parents or other factors. I want to settle down, with a man who loves me and whom I also love. We can take care of each other and share the magic of love. Nobody has said that I am not a marrying type.
• China
11 Mar 09
ah..i do want to but there are some barriers ... in my opinion most of us would like to get married when we meet our most favourit person and get along with him/her every minitue. i think i belong to the marring type . aha. have a nice day .
• Indonesia
11 Mar 09
uhhuh i want to. i dont care if they dared to assume im like that, its up to them. the important thing is that i know myself and i know what i really want in this life. the marrying type..hmm..i dont know, maybe they just wanna get married someday, coz they have a dream to build a good marriage with their couple and childrens.
@cindyhxf (1447)
• China
11 Mar 09
i am sure that i am the marring type .i dont' just play with a man but no result.in my mind ,true love should go to marriage and give love a nice result and not doubt anything.maybe some people said right.marriage is the good test for your love.how could a couple spend their time tegether whole life? they never think give up easily.