How do You find the courage to break free?

I came to point in my 20 year marriage, where I knew I had to do something and it wasn't just for myself, it was for him also. Surprisingly enough we got along well and I loved him and still do. But my love for him wasn't the kind of love I needed to have for him, I had problems seeing him as my HUSBAND because of certain personality issues I saw in him. It was one of the most painful things I've ever done, if not the most painful, but I loved him and I loved myself so I instead of living with it and knowing how I felt I let him go. Knowing that the sooner I made a decision, the sooner he could find someone elses arms to love him and see him as the man he should appear as.

I am not married yet but I want to say something here if given an opportunity. May I?

It is a very hard thing to do. In my case, he left. So I really had no choice. He walked out and he filed for divorce. The choice I have made is to not let it "ruin" my life. I have picked up the pieces and am trying to carry on. And at this point he has hurt me so much that if he wanted to come back (our divorce is not final yet) that I would not let him. Its terrible when a marriage falls apart. People always get hurt. The sad thing is that ours wasn't so broken that it couldn't be fixed. He just gave up.

aha i am still single..so i am i donot know much about that but it is a hard thing to do ,.,right\? wish you a good time i hope i will know this thing as soon as possible

Apparently I am currently in this situation. I am in a relationship right now and confused on what I should do. I love my partner so much but it just feels like our relationship is no longer in a good condition as it used to be. Lots of fights, misunderstandings, doubts, problems, etc. To be honest there are times that I am thinking of ending everything but I just cannot find the courage to do so. I love my partner so much that I cannot bear losing him no matter what happens. We both still love each other but most of the times, things are not working the way we want it to be. During our fights, those are the times that I felt like giving up but after that, I'm glad that I did not do such a thing. It's very confusing. And until now, I'm still unsure of what I should do.

Breaking free from a relationship, especially one that has been unhealthy, can almost be as difficult as eliminating an addiction. Personally, I have become literally "addicted" to some of the men in my life. Now that sounds strange. It was strange. I felt like I needed that person to be myself. I had integrated him into my life so much I felt as if we were intertwined. We did everything together. From working out, to eatting out, to attending church, and even socializing with friends. You may be asking yourself, "What's so strange about that?" Loosing one's identity is NOT part of a relationship. My Aunt has always told me that relationships should be like the icing on a cake. They should be the sweetest part, but they don't make up the entire cake. Her analogy is simple, silly, but direct. I don't agree with divorcing your spouse under any ordinary circumstance. I believe there are some things that you will never recover from with your spouse and those issues should be looked at in depth. However, if you're talking about a non-marital relationship, my advice is to cut your loses, value yourself first and foremost, and find someone that adds value to your life instead of the reverse.

I just have courage to break free for nor more than few hours. Evn my spouse will break off with me and rejoin within few hours.

When two people get married, they are no longer two people, but now one person. The couple needs to realize that this is the truth. Just because the couple have a few disagreements does not mean that they have the right to get a divorce. Marriage is between two people and involves GOD. Only when one of the two married people commits adultery does the other married person have the right to get a divorce.

The courage just kinds of comes to you when you have had enough. My friend left after I had no choice but to tell her it was time to leave. I dont regret it but it is very painful. Often i have doubt whether I will find anyone else even though she was disrespectful and downright bad for me at this time I still miss her. But I knew it was time. I pray I will survive without compromising my principles and asking her to come back and hurt me some more.

i don't know how really, because as of now it never crossed my mind to breaking up with my boyfriend. but if a person is not really happy and is being hurt with his/her relationship then he/she should really break up with their partner. it doesn't have to take so much courage because if he/she waits longer, the longer will be the agony. i have broken up with my past boyfriends and it doesnt take me so much courage to tell them that i am not happy anymore with our relationship, because in the first place i will be the one whose gonna suffer more if i don't break up with him.

It is certainly a very difficult thing to do. It is sad when you still love someone but you are not really getting the love back. I think you either have to decide it is something you can live with or something you cant, if you cant you have got to try to get support from other people and places to make it so you can break away.

When I broke up with my former boyfriend, which by the way our relationship only lasted for two weeks because of some complexities and all that, it was hard of course because though we never shared that deep bond, it still is breaking up and breaking up is never easy. I weigh the things and realize that we are better off and that we are different from each other that it will never work. Things did end well and we are still friends, I guess, and I am happy with my relationship now with borg! -cherry