Boyfriend not understanding waiting...

United States
March 21, 2009 2:46am CST
My boyfriend strongly believes that if you have an emotional relationship built up that physical should follow shortly thereafter. He's not trying to push anything and I wouldn't let him anyways but I've been pushed into physical things to soon before and I want to wait. He won't push it but I don't know how to explain my side. It's not that I need him to understand so that I won't get pushed but so that he doesn't feel hurt. He truly feels hurt and I don't know how to make him feel better.
4 people like this
5 responses
• Australia
21 Mar 09
Well, why are you waiting? Answer this question to yourself... what are the reasons why you want to wait? If you can answer that easily, then tell him... talk to him about it. If he really cares about you, then there's absolutely no reason why he shouldn't understand why you feel the way you do (well unless one of the reasons is about how you feel about him... that part might hurt). But if all your reasons are for your own beliefs or feelings, then he has no reason to be hurt. Sometimes we'll (guys) let out hormones get in the way and get the better of us, but for the most part, if he's a good guy, then he'll understand.
4 people like this
• United States
21 Mar 09
I've tried explaining to him how I feel. He's confused. He said that he's always thought that when you are really emotionally attached that the physical part just flows. He's also a virgin so that doesn't help. I am definitely not a virgin and trying to explain to him why I want to wait is becoming rather difficult. The physical part of the relationship ruined my most impacting relationship. I don't want that to happen here and I've told him that. He just keeps asking why it would ruin things.
3 people like this
• Indonesia
21 Mar 09
Just let the time flow, and maybe next he will understand you. If he really loves you, he must understand you, if you don't want any physical things before married. Maybe just give him a kiss to make him understand and fell better even he not got what he wanted at all.
3 people like this
• United States
21 Mar 09
Thanks for the response!
2 people like this
@mpsingh08 (102)
• India
21 Mar 09
First of all you have to realise and you have to be clear that you want to wait for the physical relation, if you are clear than share this view with your boyfriend. He is your boyfriend and you people loves each other most than any other thing so that he can believe you and he is the only person who can understand you and your problem and your feelings. Try to share your views when you people are wheel around in a shopping mall or in a lovers park or any other place where he become fresh or in a good mood. according to me that time he can understand you..............have a nice day
• United States
21 Mar 09
I think part of the problem is that he hasn't been in a great mood. I'll try to accomplish that first.
2 people like this
@CJscott (4184)
• Canada
23 Mar 09
It is just the way it is, Alls that you can really do is keep explaining yourself and your reasons and trust that he loves you enough. Everything will work out in time, one way or another, Keep a positive attitude and chances are it will work out your way.
2 people like this
• United States
24 Mar 09
Thanks for the positive thinking.
@siyuqiou (20)
• China
23 Mar 09
oh,my god !u can give him a lot of love !