Cheating....Friends who cheat with their friends spouses....Do u tell on them?

United States
November 10, 2006 5:07pm CST
I have a circle of friends, which I just found out one of my friends is cheating with another one of our friends husband. I have confronted that friend, at first she denied than stated that her intentions were to have an affair, but later on find out that there is an affair. Do I tell the friend that is being backstabbed that her husband and friend are having an affair? Im in the middle, Im friends with both partys, do I stay out of it knowing you might loose friendships or do you owe that loyalty to the friend that doesnt know whats going on or loyalty to the cheaters that you wont tell? Help?
1 person likes this
14 responses
@moneybags (222)
• United States
13 Nov 06
im guilty
• United States
13 Nov 06
who this, do I know you? Guilty of what sweetie
@sbeauty (5871)
• United States
13 Nov 06
You should stay out of the whole situation. It's their problem to take care of, not yours. Even though it's hard for you to just sit and watch it happen, there's not really anything constructive you can do. If the affair ends and no one finds out, then things can just go on and no one gets hurt. If everything does blow up, then you can be the caring friend who is there for any of them who need a friend.
• United States
13 Nov 06
Yeah it was really really hard to see it happen, see this guy whos wife is the one who works go to his wifes friends appt and be there all day and just happen to leave when her husband his friend too come home from a hard days work. It was hard to see the husband of the cheating wife be so confused of why they were fighting bringing her flowers, and see the wife that works come home and not even know where her husband was all day...at her friends a few feet away. Man it was hard.
@owlwings (39092)
• Cambridge, England
13 Nov 06
I think I would advise that you stay out of it. Keep your head down. Be a friend to each person individually if you feel that is right but if not, then drop them as friends. People whose ideals you don't agree with cannot be true friends. If what you say to them about how you disagree with their behaviour makes them turn against you, then they are not deserving of your friendship. If it makes them ashamed, then you might be doing good. Do make the distinction between 'friends' and 'acquaintances'
• United States
13 Nov 06
Exactly Exactly Exactly, i agree so much with you. U couldnt put it any better into word, I should have stayed out of it in the beginnning when i first knew but we were all good friends, we all live like a few feet away from each other so I confronted. Bad idea all around. I even tried to tell the ones who were getting cheated on but still not a good idea. SO I just dropped them. HAHA even deleted from myspace. (Man ppl take myspace literal) BUt I agree when u say about ppls ideals their intentions, I dont agree so why should I associate with someone like that who would put me in a bad situation. From day one I have disagreed of her behavior and bad intentions and her character overall. I did make that distinction. thanks
• United States
13 Nov 06
If you get in the middle, in the long run it will be your fault and everything will come down around YOU. The best thing is to as your friend what they think about it. I did that and mine said he didn't tell his friend when he knew and so I applied the "golden rule". He doesn't know his wife cheated with his friend and he doesn't want me to tell him.
• United States
13 Nov 06
Thats a good idea. I should have asked them each, if they were getting cheated on and I knew would they want me to tell them, would they trust me and not put me in the middle or would they rather just not know. Damn !!
• Canada
13 Nov 06
if you would expect your friend to inform you if they knew like information then for sure so should you - do unto others....
• United States
13 Nov 06
see I agree to that to a certain extent. Cuz I did confront that person and first she laughed and denied denied denied, but I knew she was just in denial...than conversation laters she confronted me that nothing happened and she was upset that nothing happened, so her intentions with her friends husband was to have an affair, than on another conversation I find out shes totally crushin on the guy and that they did something but n0thing. So anyways they did, I confronted and was in the middle but now I just dropped them.
@veekay42 (77)
• United States
11 Nov 06
no.it is not your place to say anything in cases like this i believe that what happens in the dark always comes to light.
• United States
13 Nov 06
agreed
• Singapore
11 Nov 06
I notice your avatar pics not changed. If you have problems changing or uploading the pics, problem could be of the picture format. try uploading using jpg format.
• United States
13 Nov 06
what?
@usmcsgtwife (4999)
• United States
11 Nov 06
i have a friend that is cheating now on her her husband thats in Iraq, so I know where you are coming from except I don;t know the husband.. I would talk to the girl and try and get her to confess herself.
• United States
13 Nov 06
Now that sucks for him. But its hard im sure for the wives to be seperated from their significant others and not getting tempted. alot of lonely nights and I know I couldnt be strong willed. sl*t no...just human with needs. good luck there
• United States
11 Nov 06
i think..it depends..would you want one of them to tell you if your spouse/so was cheating with another one of them or anyone? or if you found out..then found out they had known all along and was sitting there smiling in your face while knowing your partner was cheating on you....?? just a personal thing..but i would have a little chit chat..with the friend ...about coming clean and about how you feel about having a friend whos doing it
• United States
13 Nov 06
Yes of course I would hope that I had the loyalty of a friend to tell me or at least confront the other person to let them know its wrong with what their doing, but s*** always hits the fan and cheaters always gets caught. so in the end do u think it matters who knows and who told and didnt tell.....a cheater is still a cheater. And yes I did have that chit chat with that friend and guess what we are no longer friends. whatever
@ZowieR (942)
• Canada
11 Nov 06
I think you should stay out of it, the truth has a way of revealing its self on its own. then you wont be tied to, or hated for the situation
• United States
13 Nov 06
yeah thats what my husband said and totally agree the truth always comes out.
@mayshoe (606)
• India
13 Nov 06
i can understand u r situation but i would suggest that u give a hint with innocence....it depends how cleverly u can put up the finger without pointing the finger.......on the culprit
@manzician (4739)
• India
11 Nov 06
I dont think that is fair....
@manzician (4739)
• India
11 Nov 06
I dont think that is fair....
@manzician (4739)
• India
11 Nov 06
I dont think that is fair....