Are you possessive over specific people?

@kalav56 (11505)
India
March 26, 2009 12:42pm CST
I have seen some people get very thrilled if a mutual friend prefers them to someone else , a father or mother favouring them over others and so on.Soemtimes it can evn become an obsession leading to dire results.Is this a common characteristic?As far as I am concerned I have not felt that way.People will have their preferences and it is the way of life.As long as we are able to get along with everyone, it is enough.What do you think?
3 people like this
8 responses
@dpk262006 (41843)
• Delhi, India
28 Mar 09
Yes, to an extent I can say that I am possessive. However, I know it very well that if a person is my good friend, we'll have good relations and our mutual faith and trust will remain intact, even if she/he talks to someone else or goes with someone else.
1 person likes this
@kalav56 (11505)
• India
28 Mar 09
Yes we can be friends with different people and we always can sense what each person would appreciate once we get to know them.
3 people like this
@dpk262006 (41843)
• Delhi, India
30 Mar 09
2 people like this
@Roseo8 (2947)
• India
30 Mar 09
Kala...I am not being possessive,but Dpk is just a good friend of mine,and what are you doing exchanging comments with him.....
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@Roseo8 (2947)
• India
27 Mar 09
I guess it does give a certain kind of thrill to a person if he /she is shown undue attachement or importance to others by his freinds or relatives....Its human nature to to be wanted and loved.But getting obssessed and possessive is really not advisable since this will lead to unnecessary misunderstandings and distancing in the relationships,and even heart aches.I suppose this is the reason why generally children tend to be very possessive but as they grow older they learn to act wisely and judicially.
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@kalav56 (11505)
• India
27 Mar 09
Of course Ido agree that a person would get pleased, but when somehting is the other way round, and it is not too much to their liking then one must be able to take it in a mature way.Some adults also behave in this spoilt manner and then the trouble starts.
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@Roseo8 (2947)
• India
30 Mar 09
Yes I know exactly what you mean,dear...Well some people fail to grow up and remain childish in certain matters,especially when it omes to relationships,and that is when trouble starts..
@faith210 (11233)
• Philippines
27 Mar 09
Hi kalav dear! I do agree with you that people will always have some preference over one thing or on another person. think that is fine with me as long as they don't really rub it in. There are times that some people will intentionally leave you out so they can show one person how she/he is being favored, making you feel left out, hurt and abandoned. That is somehow difficult to accept especially when you know that you are being treated unfairly. God Bless..take care! lovelots..faith
1 person likes this
@kalav56 (11505)
• India
27 Mar 09
Very true Faith and I have also had this hurt feeling ;then I just do not feel like going back to that person when you know you have been deliberately sidelined.
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@faith210 (11233)
• Philippines
29 Mar 09
Yes, I do share the same feeling. It is really hard to go back to that person. lovelots..faith
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@mimpi1911 (25467)
• India
27 Mar 09
I am not sure. But I think, I would be little possessive about my partner. But then that's my mere assumption. I am not atall possessive about my parents or sisters. Even if my parents take any decision favoring my other sisters or any third person I don't get jealous at all. But then, I haven't been in such position yet, so I could be wrong. Coming to my friends, I never got possessive about anyone whatsoever. May be I am not a possessive kind.
@kalav56 (11505)
• India
27 Mar 09
I can get your meaning when you say that you have not faced such a situation so far.Similarly,I am also not possessive, but I have seen a person in close quarters [ a person who is possessive to the extent of hurting another ];but I used to get boiling mad at unfairness and injustice [so much so that during a discussion at home about the Bajaj feud I said something so vehemently that my husband remarked at once'I'll immediately telephone that business family and let them know that there is no longer any need to worry; here is a Daniel come to judgement and she would give the verdict in the best manner because she knows what fairness and unfairness is, and how it should or should not be within a family." Of course I laughed and laughed at the way he said it so seriously though it was followed by'When would you ever stop upholding justice and being impractical?'
@mimpi1911 (25467)
• India
27 Mar 09
By that I mean that my parents are very practical about everything they think and plan about us, three sisters. They have their property to emotion juxtaposed in the most balanced manner and no way you would feel that you are being left out! So, I never really felt the bad side of their being impartial or partial to us. And if they do, I do not think, I would get jealous. In fact, I want my stuffs to be distributed to them and that's from my childhood days. I am very much attached to my family yet have the least say regarding anything material. My mom worries a bit about this attitude. But if I get to meet my man ever, I do not know how things will turn out to be. Life is strange and some things you never know!
@kalav56 (11505)
• India
27 Mar 09
You are a lot like me when I was young.I sincerely pray that you ever remain the same and nevr get disillusioned or disappointed.But mimpi whenever you meet your man, you are likely to get attracted to a person who has simialr sense of values and so you may not have to worry too much.If you are not too worried about materialistic things it is all the better for you mimpi; that is a quality that makes an individual be at peace.God Bless!
@pickwick (858)
• India
30 Mar 09
Hi!I am not a possesive person and I love to have a lot of friends.But I have experiences when sometimes my friends become possesive and one really feels to break the friendship and be free then.i have only one son and he sometimes stays with my parents or my in-laws.I am not possessive about him.My parents were never possessive about me or my sister.i think possessiveness comes from feeling of insecurity.The feeling that you might lose someone.I believe in the saying that if you love someone set it free; if it comes back to you then it was yours,if not then it wasnt meant for you.
@kalav56 (11505)
• India
6 Apr 09
You are saying that you are not possessive but you were willing to throw that young man to the tiger[if you were the princess] How are you dear friend?
@Sreekala (12532)
• India
30 Mar 09
Hi Kalav, Most of people are possessive on their loved ones and upto a certain extent it is necessary, I think. But when it crosses the limit then the problem starts. I have started a discussion earlier on ‘possessiveness’ and major part of the respondents confessed that they are possessive and some are really facing problems due the same reason. Some are really wished to get out from the kind of people. Possessiveness may destroy relationship.
@kalav56 (11505)
• India
30 Mar 09
True Sreekala!Possessiveness would destroy a relationship when it is carried too far. There would be too much of stifling within the relationship itself and also for the third party it would get undesirable.
@subha12 (18472)
• India
30 Mar 09
I think we are more or less favoring some person at different points in life. I am not so possessive in life.but may be towards parents I am possessive. If somebody misbehaves with them, I get angry
@kalav56 (11505)
• India
30 Mar 09
So you get protective of your parents because you are possessive Subha.Thanks for the response!
@maeras (115)
• United Arab Emirates
26 Mar 09
I do know several people who feels that way...Often it would set them off just to know that a friend went out with some other group without informing them. One even openly admitted to me that she is that type of person. She knows that it is often unreasonable but she can't just contain her emotions. Frankly I don't understand that kind of emotion. I may understand the immediate reason but I guess I cant relate to it. I think that even if you have the "right" on that person (say a boyfriend/girlfriend, a best friend, a parent), you have to respect their choices. Maybe you should try asking yourself the reason why they did not choose you.
@kalav56 (11505)
• India
27 Mar 09
You have a different point htere but, sometimes, for no reason people would ahve preferences.But it is one's again one's own choice and we cannot exercise that 'so called' right over them.THank you for your response.