Are you sensitive to another person's expression while you talk?

@kalav56 (11503)
India
March 26, 2009 10:51pm CST
I do keep looking at the faces of people to see signals of boredom,hurt, etc..,when I am in conversation.Sometimes I can see that I have said soemthing that has not been in favor and there are other times when they are just fine. Normally, I am a bit conscious of this and try to listen first and also be sensitive to their moods.On the other hand, I also have felt that I got carried away at times with enthusiasm while talking , on specific occasions.But mostly, this would be in a well known circle and so there would not be really anything to worry . I have also seen people who just talk, unmindful of the listener.[known or unknown circles]What do you normally do?Are you always aware of the other person's reaction and reponse while you talk?
3 people like this
11 responses
@kiran8 (14257)
• Mangalore, India
27 Mar 09
Hi kala, this is a great discussion. I think when a person is sensitive and selfless he/she tends to be very caring about what impressions he/ she is making on others and act accordingly. I generally tend to see the mood of the person and then talk,but, there have been instances where i can be quite brash because i want to say what i have to say regardless of what the other person may feel - ofcourse this is in an extreme case where there the other person has treated me similarly
@kiran8 (14257)
• Mangalore, India
28 Mar 09
Hi, i agree with you totally. It is not everybody who has that kind of nature ..
@kalav56 (11503)
• India
28 Mar 09
I agree with you totally, and in the example you quoted it is more likely to be based on a prior event when soemthing would always rankle and be at the bottom of our minds.Soemtimes, even though we are not of the nature to make blunt remarks, if someone keeps on acting smart with us we tend to retaliate in our own way. I am glad you likes the discussion topic.
@kalav56 (11503)
• India
28 Mar 09
ooch!How many typos? Read 'liked' for'likes'.
@balasri (26577)
• India
28 Mar 09
I am a good listener and shoe my concern to the others who lament.Well who knows I may need a shoulder to lean anytime.
1 person likes this
@kalav56 (11503)
• India
18 Apr 09
Being a good listener is a very good thing.Thanks for your response.I have been late in catching up with this.
@balasri (26577)
• India
18 Apr 09
No problem Kala. 'Better late than never' and 'Something is better than nothing' are my all time favorite quotes and my attitude too.
@cvrajan (356)
• India
31 Mar 09
This is a very interesting discussion. In my opinion, 95% of the population is only interested in talking about themselves or themselves doing the talking predominantly. The balance 5% are good listeners or people with lots of patience to tolerate boredom or people who are not courageous enough to avoid a bore! I am really surprised to see the entire 5% population represented here in this thread!!! I show lots of interest in listening to others and I am good at asking questions: About others' office life, business, family life, opinions and views etc. I find 95% of the people are least interested in reciprocating this with me. Even if they ask a few questions about me, out of courtesy to my listening to them so well, I find they are not really too keen to listen to what I say! And mind you, I am not a bore - I give minimum details about me, because I know most of the people are only interested in themselves. But of late, because of aging, I tend to get forgetful of what I inquired and gathered from others during my last meeting with them. I tend to repeat the questions and recently I got snubbed by one person who was blunt enough to tell me: "Uncle, you asked the same 2 questions last time when we met!".
1 person likes this
@kalav56 (11503)
• India
18 Apr 09
You have summed it up very well.I have also found that some people would like to hear their own voices, are interested only in monologues and in such cases we normally do wisely keep quiet.As we get older, I do agree that we would tend to repeat questions.Even while talking at home sometimes , I ask, 'have i told you this before?'[to be on the safe side--I have no right to bore an insider just because he is at home isn't it?] Sorry for the late comment.
• United States
28 Mar 09
I am very aware of a person's expression when I talk to them. What irritates me is when I sometimes ask my husband to do something ( no matter how big or small of a task it is ) he almost always rolls his eyes at me when I ask him things and I ask him why he does that (because I think it's immature and rude when he does it) he always says " I didn't roll my eyes at you" then a argument starts..LOL.. I don't know why my husband always lie's to me when I ask him if he's ok sometimes, like sometimes he has a stressed out look on his face and I ask him if he's ok he responds back to me and say's he "OK" when I know he isn't. I guess it's a male macho thing and he doesn't like to be upfront and honest about how he feels about a lot of things. It's frustrating because I care and he act's like he doesn't want to hardly talk about whats bothering him..
1 person likes this
@kalav56 (11503)
• India
28 Mar 09
Men are like that Cassandra;they do not think that we care when we ask such questions;instead they would think it reflects poorly on them.
@lvjunjie (80)
• China
27 Mar 09
most of time i see people 's face when i am talking to them .i feel the sign is a respect for the listeners .and to know what 's they are thinking ,agree or disagree.that's depends my talking will continue or just stop by the way .Any way helps me to judge the facts.
1 person likes this
@mimpi1911 (25455)
• India
27 Mar 09
Yes I am. very much in fact. Being a shy person, I never go yapping till the other person fall asleep or fake it that they have. The latter is the case of my friend who would never stop talking. And my two sisters are no less. they can compete with each other any day! I, on the contrary, talk less listen more kind. I love listening to people and when I do not want to I have my gestures that tell it. When I am talking, I am very particular about what the listener's expression is. I would not like to drag on if he/she is not interested. Even though, situations like this come seldom I have been there a few times when I could read her mind and changed the topic or allowed her to talk. Kala, I get that you are more like my sister who just love talking and she's so sweet with with. She has a very sweet way of telling stories and a great convincing power. I am sure you are like that. Happy YAKKING
@kalav56 (11503)
• India
27 Mar 09
Yes I do talk a lot mimpi, but because of this habit I am also scared that I may bore a person and do keep looking for signals.Only with very close people with whom I can be confident that it is not going to bore them ,I chat and chat.I am also said to be a good listener[at home they used to say this on seeing the way myfriends used talking to me for hours together.]
@mimpi1911 (25455)
• India
27 Mar 09
That's a deadly combination! You know what you are very sweet with all those talking stuffs and also I can see you goggling with apprehensions of not being liked and you don't want to retire also! . That must be terrible! I am just looking my time with you Kala. I would love to listen to you with all proper signals of being eternally excited. You are such a doll!
1 person likes this
@kalav56 (11503)
• India
27 Mar 09
You are just like my son telling me all sweet things! He is avery charming fellow! Let me tell you one secret but!I do wish to retire[hmmm if wishes were horses---- !!] and I am also scared that I should not bore my daughter-in-law in future.That is my primary concern in life now, and I keep asking all my young 24/25 year old friends tips as to how to behave.
@dpk262006 (52452)
• Delhi, India
28 Mar 09
I enjoy listening to someone rather than being a chatter box myself. I know it very well that everyone wants to tell his/her side of story and there is real dearth of good listener, so I try to be the one for my colleagues/friends. However, when I talk to someone, like you, I keep checking his/her face expressions and gestures to guess whether he/she is actually listening to me. I keep asking small questions in between to check his/her alertness towards me and if I find that the person is not paying attention towards me, I stop talking and just keep quiet. I feel offended if someone is not listening to me but pretending the same.
@kalav56 (11503)
• India
28 Mar 09
True this is a sign of a good conversationalist.I am a big chatterbox within my close circle where people do not do enough talking and I compensate for it ;in my friends' circle I am very popular as a good listener.THat is why people used to talk to me for hours together.THen one positive aspect for which I am eternally grateful to God is that I remember all the data they told me and I make enquiries about their problems the next time they see me.THis used to happen in my earlier place where I had a number of clients and also other acquaintances coming to me .You may not need to ask me questions Deepak ;I can assure you I would listen;
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (52452)
• Delhi, India
30 Mar 09
All that have you stated sounds great to me and it is good to know that you are a patient listener and you remember all the details of previous conversation. Hope one day, if we happen to talk, it will be a great fun, because I can speak and speak and you could be a parient listener and vice versa.
1 person likes this
@Roseo8 (2947)
• India
27 Mar 09
Hi Kala,Oh yes I am always watchful about the attitude and expression of the person I am talking with...I feel it makes communication a lot easier....Very often I am eager to express my thoughts and opinion to another person,but I am also always receptive to the other person's point of view and invariably end up being a good listener than a talker.....Thus very often I end up being a reserved kind of person and its only in my close circles that I let go off my hair and talk and interact without inhibitions....
@kalav56 (11503)
• India
27 Mar 09
very true Rose ;one good quality of a conversationalist is to be sensitive to the other person.I find this lacking in some with whom I hesitate to broach a topic[you may not know what you are in for
@reds08 (306)
• Indonesia
27 Mar 09
When im talking with other people, i will try to look straight at their eyes and look at their face expression. Some people said that eyes can say what is inside your heart. So, when i feel that they don't feel comfort or get bored with all the things i said, i will stop talking bout that and pick another topic that can attract them.
@kalav56 (11503)
• India
27 Mar 09
That is a good strategy to switch topic to suit the interest of the other person.Clever of you!
@checapricorn (16072)
• United States
27 Mar 09
[i]Hi kalav, I am very sensitive and observant and when I see some signs like boredom, I will start to divert the topic by asking questions in that way, she or he can talk or share... I met a lady who can talk a lot and for 24/7 without thinking if the person she is talking is bored or what...can't believed it..LOL! And I have learned also from other people that most of what she told me wasn't true...[/i]
• United States
27 Mar 09
I seem to get so interested in the person that I feel a real bond. I am surprised at how many people will share with me their very deep feelings. I have a real love to learn from people and get to know them. I love to encourage. My family is surprised at how fast I can get to know someone. I think it is very important to watch someone's face and body language as well as listen to what is being said. I think that it is very important to not be judgmental also. Ooooooooh it is so much fun to get to know others!