Do you think that ladies need to be financially independent?

woman and finance - ladies need to be financially independent
@kiran8 (12839)
Mangalore, India
April 29, 2009 5:07am CST
I Have seen that many ladies in India,especially housewives belonging to the middle class and upper middle class households are totally dependent on their men folk where finance and spending money is concerned. I have always felt that this somehow makes them frustrated , which in turn tends to come out in other ways making the family life unhappy. I personally feel that it is very essential for women to be financially independent- what are your views friends? do you think it is essential or that being housewife is all that matters? plz share your views here..
8 people like this
33 responses
@orang13 (724)
• Philippines
29 Apr 09
i believe that, equality among gender are not a mere problem already. It will be okay if somehow women must be given financial independent, since, they are the light of the family and the budget keeper ofcourse. As a matter of fact, this can also show that you trust each other so there's no need for you to worry about being fool by the woman.
2 people like this
@kiran8 (12839)
• Mangalore, India
29 Apr 09
Hi orang, thanks a lot for your response. It is great when there is understanding and the woman of the house does not feel degraded, but if that is not the case then it can lead to many other problems within the family..
1 person likes this
@orang13 (724)
• Philippines
29 Apr 09
what kind of problems are gonna occur?
@kiran8 (12839)
• Mangalore, India
29 Apr 09
It is easy to guess, when a woman is disgruntled and frustrated it automatically reflects on the entire family...
@jolope (992)
• Philippines
29 Apr 09
i think that you are right.. married women or even if they're still single should have their own money and should handle their own finances as well.. its not all the time that men can satisfy women's financial needs.. also, being independent can help them handle things better.. its like getting help is a bonus.. :D cool post kiran8.. :D
1 person likes this
@kiran8 (12839)
• Mangalore, India
29 Apr 09
Hi jolope, thanks a lot for your response, i agree with you in that all women regardless of their being housewives or not need to be financially independent...
@csrobins (1125)
• United States
30 Apr 09
If they can get a job that allows them to be financially independent then yeah. Is that allowed in India? Can women have bank accounts? Don’t laugh, I just honestly don’t know. I think equality among everyone is best and that goes for everything except age. Because the younger you are the dumber you are I’ve realized that. If a woman wants to have her own money who is to stop her? Why is that such a bad thing?
@kiran8 (12839)
• Mangalore, India
1 May 09
Hi csrobins, I have to laugh when u ask such questions? In India women have all the rights , to vote, to stand for elections, have bank accounts etc;We have one of the largest women work forces in all sectors. By the way our President is a woman. Here what I am talking about is the mindset of men in general and some basic feudal ideas where men and society in general think that a woman has to look after the home and children and that financial freedom in such a set up is not necessary- I was talking about India as an example, but it does not mean that it is limited to only India- There are such cases all over the world, i have read enough accounts about it happening in European, American and other Asian and Arab Countries..
@csrobins (1125)
• United States
1 May 09
Okay first I would like to say I'm so glad it is like that there! That a woman is president is awesome I am very glad to hear it is very much teh same here. I also hope you can forgive me of my ignorance of other cultures...I really feel bad I don't know more about teh other parts of the world I share with and tend to make assumptions and stereotypes too quickly. Anyway, it sounds like India is farther along in that area than teh US is...we still have issues with women and I guess that makes me mad at people who think women shouldn't have rights. Some people here do not think women should have thier own money and should not even work. Some of teh women even think that and wish that! Now a days it is considered a luxury fr the women to marry someone wealthy enough to not have to work. I think they should anyway though.
@kiran8 (12839)
• Mangalore, India
2 May 09
Hi, csrobins,once again thanks a lot for a detailed response..I have always felt that in developed countries the status of woman is definitely far better and that they get whatever is due to them. I am sure that the cases you mention are in minority, whereas in Asian countries the mindset is backward and that makes things difficult for women in general, though it is changing now..
@dpk262006 (49023)
• Delhi, India
1 May 09
Hi! Kiran! I full agree with you that women should be financial independent. Cost of living has gone risen considerably in the past many years and it will be good for a family as a whole, if the Lady of house is also working. I think in the olden times, cost of living was not so high and it was possible to manage the house with the income of the family head. Earlier the lady of the house would do all house hold jobs and would manage all the affairs including brining up kids and looking after their education. However, today the scenario has changed and girls are highly educated and they get very good jobs because of their educational or technical qualification. Earlier, it was enough for a girl to be simply graduate and then she was married to a suitable boy. Good Post!
@kiran8 (12839)
• Mangalore, India
1 May 09
Hi Deepak, thanks a lot for your response and your views. I fully agree with your views, one has to change according to times and situations. I am sure there is nothing wrong even if a highly educated lady wants to be at home and look after the house and kids provided she is happy doing it and does not feel that she is dependent. This feeling comes only when she is made to feel that way. If there is mutual understanding its great ! Otherwise there is bound be unhappiness..
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (49023)
• Delhi, India
1 May 09
I buy your argument that good level of understanding is required between a couple and there is nothing wrong if wife is highly educated but she chooses to be Home maker/Home Manager. I believe even if she does not go for work outside, she contributes a lot at home and her contribution is invaluable and cannot be measured in terms of 'money' or 'earnings.
@kiran8 (12839)
• Mangalore, India
2 May 09
Yes thats right deepak, i feel you are one of the very few men who think that way 'that women contribute far more at home and it cant be measured in terms of money'. Most men do not think so and thats where the problem lies ..
@weng_08 (282)
• Philippines
29 Apr 09
Hello kiran, I personally believe that women should be financially independent for this gives them a feeling of self worth as well. It would be really nice when a woman can support herself. It would truly be difficult to always ask for money when women need to buy some things. Dependent women also have to ask for their husbands' approval, before they can buy stuffs that are not necessary. Women, these days, are more career-oriented, and it is surprising that women in your place remain to be dependent. However, some believe that being a home maker is the best job, ever. I won't argue with that, for as long as a woman is happy with her choice. Have a great day! Weng
• Trinidad And Tobago
29 Apr 09
I will be the Happiest man if all ladies join up and make an attempt to move forward ,, to show that they can DO IT,,just go out and start,, there is so much a lady can do if there is no shame,, and why have shame if the purpose is to work honestly for the money,,, BUT ,,,,,,,TO BUY THE STUFF THAT IS NOT NECESSARY,,if it is not necessary WHY BUY IT????????????,, buy all that is necessary
@kiran8 (12839)
• Mangalore, India
29 Apr 09
Hi weng, thanks a lot for your response and your views.I am not saying that in my country most women are dependent, but many still are, esp those who were married off early in life and had no proper access to education and have never had the chance to work outside their homes and earn an income...Tradition and customs also encourage this to a great extent, making the woman dependent on the man ..
29 Apr 09
I think in today's world you would be silly not be financially independent. I feel sorry for women who depend on their spouses for finances.. One of the reasons I chose to be financially independant is because my mum was totally dependant on my dad for everything and I hated that very much. I made the decision never to rely on a man for my financial life and yes it has paid off. In all my relationships I was always in control of my money and always will be. I think its just down to education.. somebody needs to show these dependant women that life sucks when you depend on anybody..
• United States
29 Apr 09
I am in a completely different culture in the US. When I was growing up one of the very few things my dad did was to give some good advice. One of these was that no matter the kind of man you marry, he may be a good man who is financialy secure, or heaven forbid a man who does not care to work, something may happen that requires you to take care of the familly and so get an education and know how to work. Dad was right. I did not marry a man with a lot of money, but he does work and he takes care of me. But he has diabetes and so it could happen that I need to be the one who makes the money one day. I am going to school (with the complete support of my husband) and will become a teacher. We look at money as an effort to be made by both of us, we do not have children and so I work. When we have children I will not work (that is what I want). You are right it can become very flustrating to always have to depend on someone for your needs expecially if you know that you are capable of doing more.
@kiran8 (12839)
• Mangalore, India
29 Apr 09
Hi, very sensible post. I have advised my daughter in more or less a similar manner , to be financially independent no matter what and when she decides to get married, make a joint decision as to what was best for the two of them..
@weng_08 (282)
• Philippines
1 May 09
Yes, indeed, for there are instances when women have to work. We cannot really tell what is in store and we need to be prepared for that. Being dependent is also one major reason why some battered women are forced to stay in an unhealthy relationship. So, bottom line is, we should be self-reliant. Weng
@kiran8 (12839)
• Mangalore, India
7 Sep 10
Hi weng, sorry for the delayed response I agree that one can never be sure about the future , it may even so happen that the husband might loose his job and if the wife is working , there is always some relief...Even otherwise a lady should be independant as you say self -reliant..All the best
@kawalnarang (1095)
• Trinidad And Tobago
29 Apr 09
I wish u Best,, I think ladies can do a lot,, to become independent,, for eg,sales,beauty parlour,teaching(not only like a school,but there is a variety now)consultant,repairs eg households etc,painters,and the list goes on,, ONCE THERE'S A WILL,, THERE'S A WAY,,,all we got to do is make an effort,,purpose is to make a start,,and everything is POSSIBLE DEAR
@kiran8 (12839)
• Mangalore, India
29 Apr 09
Hi kawalnarang, I know that ladies can do it, in fact India is one of the first countries to have a Lady as Prime Minister of the country, but that is exactly what i am saying. There is a class of highly educated well placed ladies in very important posts and the other class of ladies who are totally at the mercy of their fathers, brothers or husbands..I am sure there are many opportunities available for women these days but are they able to assert themselves and go for it??
• Trinidad And Tobago
30 Apr 09
SORRY TO KNOW U ARE TALIKING ABOUT A LADY PRIME MINISTER,,WE NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOW HAVE PATIL AS PRESIDENT I BELIEVE,, forget all that ,, are u not able to say that every woman can get up and get,, sorry to say I have seen woman work harder than a man ,, and it's not a pity,, I want it ,, I have to work for it..I believe we should work for every cent we want,,and I guarantee u that ,,if I need something ,,If my child need food of milk powder I will get up and get,,I will mention this ,,u like it or not,, u know why the beggars go out to beg,, one reason is that they need to beg,, or any other reason is that they are told to do so,, it does not matter,,the fact is that every person ( physically able or not) ,,goes out to get,, personally I will encourage everyone to got out ,, work honestly to get what they need,,and more than that,,JAI HOOOOOOOOOOOO
@kiran8 (12839)
• Mangalore, India
30 Apr 09
Hi, thanks a lot for your response, i agree with your views, everyone has to work and contribute for the well being of the family..
@paula27661 (15900)
• Australia
1 May 09
I live in Australia and I have been financially dependent on my husband since my daughter was born seven years ago. I do freelance writing from home but my income would not be sufficient to live on. I don't regret giving up working outside the home to take care of my child and writing is my passion, but I do hate the fact that I am not earning a substantial income because before I got married I was very independent and supported myself. It is a choice though and I know I can go back to work whenever I choose to. In my opinion it's about having choices. It is wonderful to stay at home and be a mother in fact few jobs are as important but to have a choice is imperative.
@kiran8 (12839)
• Mangalore, India
1 May 09
Hi paula, Thanks a lot for your views i have been in a similar situation as you are now, and i too dint like it much- but at the same time i felt that i had to think of other things as well which were more important and as you said i had the option to go back to work later. But many women have no choice, they are not allowed to earn and the husband likes to control them in every way leading to frustration at some stage or the other in life, and thats what led me to start this discussion
@paula27661 (15900)
• Australia
1 May 09
I understand that there are many ladies out there that are not fortunate enough to have a choice and that is a shame and I can see how that can lead to a great deal of unhappiness down the track; it is not always easy for some women to walk away from being controlled.
@kalav56 (11502)
• India
30 Apr 09
I think a bit of financial independence is definitely good Kiran.But people like my mother were not independent earners and so they had to depend on father's income always.Of course with better capability to be economically productive , the middle aged women of our days do have some financial independence. But, I do feel that it is an individual characteristic to get frustrated;even without financial independence some old women were more contented and with this independence some women are still frustrated and unhappy.So, it is a bit of state of mind--I am only talking of the cases where the basic needs are fulfilled and not where there is a diffculty to cover even basic needs. But financial independence should not lead to arrogance or an upperhand because this would interfere with the harmony in family.But financial independence is most desirable because every woman would not mind having some pocket money of her own and she need not ask her husband for her petty vanities or small expenditure.But I detest the attitude of troubling the partner on account of this earning capacity or individual inheritance.I have heard people talk like this and that is why I feel that way.
@kiran8 (12839)
• Mangalore, India
30 Apr 09
Hi kala, thanks a lot for your response, you have covered many important points. I agree that a woman should not be arrogant and harrass her husband. It should be mutual. Things were different in the olden days and life was different so we cannot look back.My grandma is nearly ninety and yet keeps control of the money, granpa is no more and she gets some income from the fields and coconut trees and she is independent.But definitely things are different now and with more education, women will want to utilise their education and be independent..and i feel that it is a welcome change.
@dpk262006 (49023)
• Delhi, India
1 May 09
Kala!
• Philippines
19 Jan 10
Ladies need and have to be independent.financial is one of the fields women have to be independent.at the end of the day,it is still you who are providing for yourself.it helps to know that if one time,if the marriage dissolves,you have something financially to fall back on.
@kiran8 (12839)
• Mangalore, India
19 Jan 10
Hi coco, I agree with your views. It has happened in so many cases where the woman has been left high and dry by the husband ..I feel that a woman should be financially independant no matter what her husbands position is, even if he is well to do ...Thanks a lot and have a nice day
@newtondak (3952)
• United States
3 Jan 10
I do not feel that women need to be financially independent from their husbands, but rather that the couple work toward financial independence together - with both parties being aware of and equal in the decisions regarding their finances.
@kiran8 (12839)
• Mangalore, India
4 Jan 10
Hi newtondak, what yiou depict is an ideal situation, but what if things are going the other way round and the woman is getting a raw deal? In most marriages this happens to be the case and thats why I feel that it is better for a woman to have some kind of financial security so that she is not taken for granted...
@gr8life (6253)
• Malaysia
19 May 09
Hello kiran8, I believe that as a woman, we need to be independent financially. We don't know what will happen in future and I don't think it is good to depend solely on our husbands. I am a working mother and I love to be independent, almost in everything. It doesn't mean that I don't need my husband's help at all. In certain aspect of life, I am still depending on his help sometimes...
@kiran8 (12839)
• Mangalore, India
19 May 09
Hi gr8life, Yes we need to have a certain amount of independence esp regarding finance.In a marriage or elsewhere in relationships we are interdependent but there should be no room for any other person to take advantage of you, and, this happens most of the time when you are financially dependent on others..
1 person likes this
• Philippines
4 May 09
The answer is always depends... because most women are good in being supportive than being a financially independent.... but yes, it is good so that women can buy what ever they want it... i know it is important for women to be financially independent... but it really depends if women can make it... for myself, i can't make it financially independent because i am good in being supportive for others... helping other success....
@kiran8 (12839)
• Mangalore, India
4 May 09
Hi, I really cant agree with you on that, i feel that it depends on ones own way of meeting the challenge.A woman can manage finances as well as a man sometimes even better, it is just that she is not given an opportunity to do so by the men in her life..Of course there is nothing wrong in being supportive and taking a back seat but it should not lead to unhappiness..
@savypat (20248)
• United States
1 May 09
I think every culture should consider giving women the ability to be financially independent. Without this they can never be truly free.
@kiran8 (12839)
• Mangalore, India
2 May 09
Hi savypat, thanks a lot for your response. My own feeling is that ladies had much more respect and financial freedom during olden days, that is evident when one reads the scriptures, somewhere in the later period this began to change with man gaining more power and the woman starting to be dominated by man..
@parthu28 (499)
• India
1 May 09
hey there kiran.i completely agree with you in this matter.my mother is a housewife and is completely dependent on my father for her finances............this actually frustrates her sometimes which causes unhappiness in the general environment at home.recently i have tried to introduce my mother to mylot.these days she seems to be in a better situation........
@kiran8 (12839)
• Mangalore, India
1 May 09
Hi parthu, thats exactly what i was trying to say...That at some stage or the other this state of total dependence leads to frustration. I am so glad that you are such an understanding son , having analysed your mother's feelings are doing what you can do regarding this- Great to have your mother on mylot, all the best to her
@sikat101 (149)
• Philippines
30 Apr 09
Everyone should be financially independent regardless of gender. Even a housewife who isdependent on her husband's salary should have a savings account of her own.
@kiran8 (12839)
• Mangalore, India
30 Apr 09
Hi sikat, thats exactly what i am saying - thanks for your response
• United States
30 Apr 09
Particularly in India i have seen so many ladies depending on the guys to earn the money by using the simple word love which is the best way to earn
@kiran8 (12839)
• Mangalore, India
30 Apr 09
Hi praveen, I dint get your point ?? can you please elaborate on that ?
@Henrysun (40)
• China
30 Apr 09
In China, almost every woman is working, because it's more difficult to live than in other country. House price is too high compared with income. If life is easier in your country, I think woman should pay more attention to children.
@kiran8 (12839)
• Mangalore, India
30 Apr 09
Hi Henrysun, It is nice to know that all women work in China. Life is never easy anywhere for anyone, and i feel that the decision to either work or not work should be left to the woman to decide, or it should be a joint decision taken by the couple ..
• Philippines
30 Apr 09
Ladies should be financially independent, because we have different needs. Although we are inside a family, we have husband to protect and serve us we have different needs. We still have to pamper ourselves, we have different happiness. And the money that we have is for safety , we have to be ready for circumstances that comes to our lives so that when our husband left us we have something for ourselves. We can stand alone.
@kiran8 (12839)
• Mangalore, India
30 Apr 09
Hi grecy, than you so much for your views, yes i agree that our needs and outlook is different to that of a man. I dont say that all women are careful regarding money, but i feel that most women are able to conserve money better than men..
• Philippines
30 Apr 09
For me women should be financially independent.If women will be very dependent to their men folk and husbands what will happen if her husband die or there will be no more men folk around?Being a housewife is not the only life a woman should take,we should also be strong and independent so we may see what we can do to make our life more meaningful.
@kiran8 (12839)
• Mangalore, India
30 Apr 09
Hi, thanks a lot for your response and views, most women here seem to have practical views regarding this..not many male members have answered this discussion..