VERY stubborn 5 year old!!!

United States
May 4, 2009 1:02pm CST
My 2 girls just spent their preschool day at the park. They were outside from 8:45am until 1:45pm. We just got home. Now, my 5 year old is giving me NOTHING but problems. She is really getting to me. I am 7 months pregnant and her attitude is not helping one bit. Every day she thinks she runs the show. It's either her way or no way. When she doesnt get her way she makes this huge scene like I just ended her play life. I'm just at my ropes ends on how to handle her. I just give up. I have tried everything. I know she is 5 and it's usually what they do, test our limits. It's just getting very old!!!!
2 people like this
16 responses
@chastity7 (104)
• United States
4 May 09
Let's see, I've been in this situation before. Take them to the park for the entire day, then by the time they get home, they've been outside, running around all day and should be all run out, and tired, willing for a nap, or at least to sit quietly for 10 minutes. right? wrong. With my 2 yr. old, it's just the opposite. If I let her play all day at the park, then she is overstimulated, hungry, probably thirsty, and ready for a fight. I suggest a nice snack, a drink of water, and then try to talk her into sitting down for a movie? I know it's easier said than done, especially preggers, but it doesn't help either that she can feel your frustration. so try to calm down and deal with her with patience. I know you may not think so but she's really not doing it deliberately to annoy you. she's just being a typical 5 yr. old. be patient. it will get better, I promise.
• United States
4 May 09
Well they had preschool at the park. They had breakfast and lunch and plenty to drink. Even when I am calm she acts up. I can be minding my own business reading or something and she will just start up. I can try to sit her down for a movie but that only lasts for maybe 15 minutes.
• United States
5 May 09
I feel your pain. as I've said before, children usually don't do anything unless they are getting a payoff. think about it, she throws a fit, you react = payoff. I read an article where the mom literally left her child screaming on the grocery store floor, that child got up and ran after her. Now I'm not saying leave her at the park, but if you ignore her when she is throwing these fits, just leave the room, walk around her, or even suggest she spend her time alone in her room until she calms down. she needs to know that she can throw a fit, but the only one who's day it's going to interrupt is hers. A fit loses all its' appeal without an audience there to witness it. Once she realizes she is hurting no -one but herself, usually it will make her come to her senses. I have given this advice to several other mothers and usually it works. All I can say is try it, it can't hurt. and chances are once she realizes you are no longer paying out, she will quit throwing such fits. good luck to you. :)
@Jae2619 (1485)
• United States
4 May 09
I can feel ya, My 6 year old boy is like this from time to time and honestly it only get's worse as they learn how to vocalize their feelings. My son knows better but he loves to test that waters on what he can say and can't say to me and his dad. He wants to see if what he says is suitable or not. When he pushes us to our limits, we've found that sitting him down and talking with him works best for us. Find out why he's having a bad day, or being cranky. Most times it's because he didn't get to play longer, or get this, but on occasion it's something like he wants more time with me, or his dad. He's got a little sister who's 19 months old and sometimes he feels left out or feels like he's not getting that one on one time he wants. We try to work out something to make him stop his additude, and agree with each other. If he acts up again, he knows he's gonna get something taken away, time out or lose allowance money. So he keeps his cranky days to the bare. I do wish you luck and hope she loses her additude for you today.
• United States
4 May 09
Darn it. I was hoping it wouldnt get worse, but I kind of figured it would. Her attitude has been worse then normal for the last 3 months. I am 7 months pregnant with my 3rd daughter. I think it might be a fear she has that my attention wont be just on her and only on the new baby. Then she has these days where she wants to hold my tummy and and ask a bunch of questions and if the baby is going to "pop" out yet! lol. I just hope that soon or once the baby is born things will lighten up in my household. Thank you for your response.
@Jae2619 (1485)
• United States
4 May 09
LOL... My son has been getting more vocal and crabby as he get's older (might be because he takes after his dad). My son was the same way. He was an only child for just right at 5 years. He was so excited to have a baby sister, but then there was days he would just be like can you send the baby back, I changed my mind. I give both my kids the attention they need, but there are days when I over look things and don't give them enough one on one, and I know he craves that as he was my only and my baby for so many years.
@eztuner (451)
• United States
5 May 09
Yes, sometimes they have a way to get in our nerves. Take a deep breath, and be prepared to say, NO, as when you really mean it. No lectures, no explanations only No. She will cry, kick, scream, but eventually she will stop. Because of tiresome or because she sees is not working. At night try to find the funny side of the story, that will help you for the new one,next day! Good luck!
• United States
5 May 09
I have told her a million times strictly "NO" and walk away. She kicks and screams and when I tell her to quite down if she doesnt she can kick and scream in her room. When she is good enough to calm down she can come out. Some days are worse then others though thats for sure. Then she has days where you wouldnt think it's the same child. lol
@yoyozhou (356)
• China
4 May 09
Hehe...,I think children are always lovely and naughty.Maybe it's nature.When I was a little girl,I did my way just like your girls.If my mom didnt let me do something,I would ture over for a long time.But when I grew up,I understand how hard is mama. I suggest that when you want your children to do something or not do something, you can reward them something though it sounds irrational. I mean if you want them do something you can say to them "If you help me do ...., I will let you watch cartoon for 30 minutes." Or " If you don't do ..., I will take you to the zoo at weekends ." All in all, hope everything is all right.Good luck.
• United States
4 May 09
That actually sounds like a pretty good idea. I have tried that a few times and every now and then it does work. I should try it more often though. I should stick to just that and see what happens.
@smileonstar (4014)
• United States
4 May 09
Hi, 5 years old is always like this. I have one also but she is totally under control. I would prank her if she acts like that to me. I know, we should prank the kids but I do it for her own good behavior. If she acts like that, you should ignore her and see what she is going to do. No her way, period... it will always treat her in a bad way. and it should be your way, her way sometimes only. Why dont you give her some treatment with toys or tell her what she should do and what she should not do and reward her with a good words and good things that she loves. I wish you all the best.
• United States
4 May 09
Ignoring her only leads to worse behavior. I have rewarded her with good things for the days she has good but it just leads to the next day of bad behavior. She hardly ever gets her way. I dont give in. That sets a bad example. The only way I give in is if I tell her you need to be good the rest of the day THEN we will see what happens. Thank you for your response.
@MasonL (97)
• Trinidad And Tobago
5 May 09
I responded to a discussion familar to your problem, but does it have a father figure in the house to handle some of these children that are giving trouble,some times these children really need to hear the voice of a stern male. And you mothers don't allow yourself to suffer like that, some times two good slap on the bott won't kill.
@hotsummer (10308)
• Philippines
5 May 09
it is in their stage that they get so active and get a lots of tantrums. kids that age are cute and a headache at the same time. it is really hard to be patient most of the times. i do try to avoid kids this age when they get too naughty. i don't have kids only nephews.
@silverglint (2001)
• Philippines
5 May 09
I have a 5 year old but he is not as hard to handle as his younger brother. I personally feel that since he is 5, he can understanding things better and is more "mature" enough to know the difference between doing right and wrong. Maybe its in the personality or maybe its because when he was a toddler, around 3, his dad gave him a real good spanking so we are more able to control him this time since he probably doesn't want to get the same spanking again hehe
@subha12 (18462)
• India
5 May 09
This problem is there with some children. These are very dominating type. They always want to be at the center of attention. Plus this complaining nature from childhood is no good.I think better talk with her.
@youless (86466)
• Guangzhou, China
5 May 09
I am sorry to hear that. Perhaps your child wants to get your attention. I know it is not easy to take care of children. You have to be very patient. My child will be five years old in June. And I have to say that at present he starts to have his own thoughts and may not listen to us all the time. Namely he is not as tame as when he was little. Perhaps it is natural. Sometimes he also drives me crazy and I will have a headache. I think sometimes we are testing to each other. Meanwhile I learn from it. I start to understand that blame him isn't the best solution. Probably we were the same when we were little, but we just forgot it. Good luck! I love China
• United States
5 May 09
I have a 5 yr old son that same way he is the gift to the world and it revolves around him.................so he thinks!. I put mine on a time out i dont care how long it takes or how long he yesll screams or throughs a fit but he sits there while his lil sister and older siblings are outside playing or in the room watching tv. I go on about my business around the house and sooner or later he calms down now weather it is soooner or later is his choice not mine he makes it by who he acts.
• Philippines
5 May 09
..probably your child was very spoiled or what.. i think shes just getting your attention to do sumthing,isnt it?? hehe..then you should be thankful for it, you know why??, because she is NORMAL..
@nishdan01 (3055)
• Singapore
5 May 09
Things with your daughter will subside about one month after your delivery. I think the problem is that your older daughter is very anxious if she will get the same attention as before when the baby is born. I too had tough time with my 3 year old when my baby was born. Later, things returned to normal. Just wait, be patient and pray for her.
@cindyhxf (1447)
• China
5 May 09
i understand your feeling.i got tired of my 5 years old daughter sometimes.but most of the time i think she is easy to handle.i just never give up to lead her to be good way as much as i could. we just need much more patient to talk with her and bear what she did agaigst our feeling.
@lingli_78 (12852)
• Australia
4 May 09
i don't have any children yet... but i can perfectly understand what you mean... it is very tiring to handle a child like that especially when you are 7 months pregnant... may be she is just craving for your attention since she knows that you are going to have another baby soon... may be try to explain to her that she is going to be a big sister soon and she needs to behave to set a good example for her baby sister/brother... good luck... take care and have a nice day...
@meandmy3 (2229)
• United States
4 May 09
I have written a few post on 1 2 3 Magic for Parents, it is a great book and did wonders with my children. Plain and simple you have to let her know who is boss and not allow her to run the house. She starts getting rude with you are having attitude she goes to her room till she can be an active nice part of the family. No excuses and no backing down. Good luck