Afraid to answer the door or telephone?

@Margajoe (4721)
Germany
May 7, 2009 1:23pm CST
Have you ever been afraid to answer your door? Or afraid to answer your telephone? I am lately. There are people coming to the door because of bill's that are behind. On the phone I get warnings about payments that are overdue. This is driving me nuts! What do you do? Take care.
6 people like this
23 responses
@dianmelydia (2272)
• Indonesia
7 May 09
I think you must face the truth. You can't hide forever. No matter what's happened next, life goes on. Show them your good attitude. Make a deal with them about when will you pay your bills. If you are still hiding, people will get more angry with you, and it can endanger your life and your family. But if you facing them, i think they can understand your situation and they will arrange an agreement with you about the best solution on your problem. Don't be fear. Face the truth. There's no problem in this world which can't be resolved. Good luck and have a nice day. Happy mylotting.
3 people like this
• Japan
8 May 09
I totally agree with this one so I gave it a good rate. This is life, and while you're still alive, you have to make the most out of it.
1 person likes this
@Margajoe (4721)
• Germany
8 May 09
Yes, I know you are both right. But, some days it is just so difficult. I am happy that my family has no problems with this. My children are grown up and I live with my BF. No one can get into problems because of this, except me. But, there is nothing to collect here. I don't have much. What I have they can take. Normally I think positive. I know how I should react. But then the phone (or door) rings and I feel fear. Afraid of who it is. What they want. How much do I have to pay this time? Did I forget to pay something? What if they don't understand me? What if I don't now what to say? This makes me want to just let it go by. I know it is wrong of me, but I just have times that I cannot take it anymore. Take care.
@andy77e (5170)
• United States
7 May 09
You have to deal with the problem first. Obviously I have no idea if you have or not. You didn't cover your situation, so I can only answer what I would do about the phone. Don't answer it. LOL Sad answer, but if you don't have the money, and you know you won't have the money, and there isn't anything you can do about it, then don't answer the phone. Eventually they'll sue, you'll lose, they repossess everything they can take, or garnish your wages. A better option is to deal with the problem. Second job, part-time job, sell everything you own. Whatever you do, DO NOT, let me repeat that... DO NOT, go to a debt consolidation or credit consumer help organization. Let me make that plain again... absolutely DO NOT go to a debt consolidation or credit consumer help service. They will take your money, and make the calls stop... but you will not get out of debt. The money will be lost, and you'll end up in court, and the debt company will disappear. DO NOT DO THIS. You must work through this yourself.
@Margajoe (4721)
• Germany
9 May 09
Thank-you very much for your advice. I am trying to get extra money, trying to get a job. But my health is against me. I did sell the house, so they cannot take that from me. (Lost money on the house too!) Don't have a car anymore, so they cannot take that. What I do have is worth less for them. I don't have much to lose. It is the embarrassment of not being able to pay my bills on time. I use to be able to pay my bills and feel good about it. Everything was on time. Now a days, I am happy to be able to get through the month. I am getting there, but I don't like confrontations about payments I cannot pay at that time. I am late very often. I always pay the oldest bills first. That helps. I got everything organized in a binder so I can keep track of everything better, this makes a big difference. And no, I don't want help from any debt consolidation or credit consumer. Then I would really feel more lost then I do know. I like to be in control. Take care.
@andy77e (5170)
• United States
9 May 09
Based on what you told me, I have some additional ideas. First, since you are effectively judgment proof, meaning there really isn't anything they can do to you, move towards paying bills by priority rather than age. Shelter, Food, Clothes. I assume you are already in a very modest location. Food, well that's a given. And by clothes, I'm obviously not talking about that expensive two-piece bathing suit to show off your attractive figure. "Bare Necessities" is the phrase of the day. As for all your unsecured debt, toss any credit card debt under the buss. They can wait. Your credit is already toast, so forget about that. Be careful around student loans. They are backed by the government, and when you mess with government, they mess with you. Companies with student loans do not need to sue you. They can garnish your wages, and other things, without any warning whatsoever. Try and put that on hardship deferral, but never ignore them like you can a credit card. Find an answering machine (used hopefully, or at a discount store) that has a record function. Inform collectors that you are recording the call. Further, learn your rights under the "Fair Debt Collection Practices Act" which you can look up on wiki. If they violate those rights, and you have recordings of it, you can sue them. They will likely settle out of court by forgiving all your debt, because the cost of fighting the lawsuit will exceed how much they could get from you. Finely, after you ignore the credit cards, and once you have paid up all your other bills, build up several thousand in the bank. After you have several thousands, call up the companies one by one, and offer to settle. Do not do this unless you have the money on hand at the time to settle.
@andy77e (5170)
• United States
9 May 09
Ooops.. I did not know you were in Germany. Not sure how much of that applies to you. Doh!
• United States
7 May 09
I used to feel like I had to open the door just because someone knocked on it! I also felt like I was obligated to answer the phone every time it rang. A wise friend once freed me from that bondage. She said I did not have to answer either one. They are mine and it is my choice when and where and why I answer or not! It's my door! It's my phone!!
2 people like this
@Margajoe (4721)
• Germany
8 May 09
Yes that is true. I used to be like that too. I would run to the phone and break my neck doing it. hahaha! I would run to the door to open it on time. But, now a days I am the opposite. That is not always good. I am happy, like you, I feel free of the obligation. But now I have a fear instead. That is not good either. Thanks for your comment. Take care.
• United States
9 May 09
I hear ya! Hopefully, you'll (and I ) will be able to find some healthy balances in there somewhere!!
1 person likes this
@Margajoe (4721)
• Germany
9 May 09
Yes, I think that will happen. I have read that a lot of us have problems. So, I guess things can only get better for us all. Take care.
• Philippines
7 May 09
There were time I'm like that. But I can still remember clearly, way back last year that all of us here on house were afraid to answer the telephone nor open our home's door. It's because there were rumors that our grand mother has gone nuts and crazy and father told us to be careful on opening doors or answering phone calls 'cos we never know whether it is grandma or not. Dad told us that she might harm us or even kidnap us that's why we should be extra alert. But that was last year. She wasn't crazy. She just looked like one. Everything's normal and fine now.
@Margajoe (4721)
• Germany
8 May 09
Oh my! That would be scary! Why did your father say that? Did he really think she had gone crazy? How is your relationship with your grandmother now? Do your see her or visit her every now and then? Thanks for your comment. Take care.
@ravinskye (8245)
• United States
7 May 09
Boy I know how you feel. Try having the cop come to your door lol. We live in a small town so when the cop is on duty he was delivering shut off notices for water and sewage. Ours had gotten behind and he came to our house. I had to sign a paper that I got the notice. It is so embarrassing. I was avoiding answering the phone for awhile too because of all the calls. I just screen my calls and do my best to get my bills caught up.
2 people like this
@Margajoe (4721)
• Germany
8 May 09
Yes me too, I try to get the bills caught up. Some months it is so hard. The police were on my door not too long ago, asking for my BF. He has money problems from before our time. I know about these. I was shocked when she said, the next time they would come and break open my door. I mean, it is my house. Everything here is mine. My BF lives with me, we are not married. But, I stayed calm and asked her for a telephone nr so he could give her a call. At first she just wanted to leave, so I asked again. Then she gave me a paper with a new appointment on it and warned me that my BF be there or else! When he went to this appointment, all he needed to do was sign a paper saying he was not allowed to have his own business for the next two years. What was all the fuse about!?!? Take care.
• United States
7 May 09
I say face the fear. Yes, it stinks that they sometimes border harassment. but you owe them the money. I was going thru a rough time years ago and I just called my car company and told them my situation and they where willing to work with me. I think that they are more willing to work with someone if your honest, then if you try to avoid them.
2 people like this
@Margajoe (4721)
• Germany
8 May 09
Yes, I have experienced that too. When I called the bank to tell them I could not pay my payment that month, they gave me a deal and helped me out. I try to keep everything organized. But sometimes I just don't now what to say anymore. I was wondering if others have experienced these fears too. Thanks for your advice. I know your right. Take care.
@sanuanu (11241)
• India
8 May 09
I can't do anything, I have high debt on my credit card, there are people from whom I have taken money which got lost in Share market, there are people who are calling me for my telephone bills. I don't know what to do. I don't even have money to live and survive in such condition, how can I pay my bills. It is very scary time, I don't know what to do. Sorry folk, I don't really know what to do. I am with you and expecting somethng to happen so that I can get rid of this situation!
1 person likes this
@Margajoe (4721)
• Germany
9 May 09
Sorry to hear that. What I have concluded due to this conversation, is that we are not alone. It is a very scary time indeed. I hope you succeed in getting rid of this situation. I hope we all do. Wouldn't it be nice, just to be able to live again? Well, things can't get much worse. So then, things can only get better! Thanks for your comment. Take care.
1 person likes this
@sanuanu (11241)
• India
9 May 09
There has to be a bottom but the most hurting thing is my credit card bills, the more I pay, the bigger it becomes. I have not used it for last 7 months but still, I am owing the same money I owed 7 months ago, I am paying minimum amount every month!
1 person likes this
@Margajoe (4721)
• Germany
9 May 09
That does not sound right. You have not used it in 7 months, and your paying the minimum. Then you still should have paid some off. You should not still be at the same amount. That is weird. What does the bank say? Is this normal? Are they charging you for being behind on payments? I hope things work out for you soon. Take care.
1 person likes this
@queenlove (495)
• United States
8 May 09
I feel the same way sometimes. Not really because I am afraid of them, I just don't feel like explaining to them why I dont have the money and all of that stuff. You get to the point when you just dont ant to have to beg for mercy anymore so you just ignore the phone or the door. Its not that I dot pay the bills,its that when you shell out 200.00 on something and they still want more, you get tired of dealing with it.
1 person likes this
@Margajoe (4721)
• Germany
9 May 09
Yes same here. Problem is I have come to the point that I find I am afraid of answering to the door or telephone. I am behind a lot with my bills. I pay them but they are late. I am so tired of explaining too. Every month I am afraid I won't be able to pay at all. With this conversation I found we are not alone. Thanks for your comment. Take care.
• United States
9 May 09
Yeah you are definately not alone. When I was young I didnt take me credit seriously, and I messed it all up, now my credit is so bad that I cant even rent an apartment. Its crazy. so dont feel alone. Besides,half of the world is in debt right now. Its hard out there. Take care.
@Theresaaiza (9677)
• Australia
9 May 09
I'm fortunate at present because I still don't have such problems like bills to pay, etc. etc. I also am the type of person who doesn't 'borrow' money, and I purchase my goods on a cash basis to save myself from being indebted in the long run. But I don't know how it would be when I am finally on my own, married or living independently. One reason why I never got myself a credit card is because I know how irresponsible I could be if given the chance.
1 person likes this
@Margajoe (4721)
• Germany
9 May 09
You are so right. You have a good attitude, you will do just fine. Always pay things on a cash basis, no borrowing or paying next year arrangement. I was caught in those situations in the past. Took a long time to pay off and you pay so much extra because of it. I was doing just fine until the Euro came. It got less. Then I got problems with my health and now I only get half the money I use to get. I am doing my best, but it is not always easy. Thanks for commenting. Take care.
@Pose123 (21671)
• Canada
8 May 09
Hi Margajoe, This can be very difficult for many people but it is best to face the problem. It is possible too that you may want to talk to a credit councilor and get things sorted out. Harassment is not good and being afraid to answer the door is terrible. Talk to someone you trust or you could end up getting sick. Blessings.
1 person likes this
@Margajoe (4721)
• Germany
9 May 09
Hi Pose, how are you? My health is all ready a problem. That is why I have half the money I use to have. Here is where the problem started. But, your right, it is best to face the problem. Normally I can, but recently it seems to be getting more complicated. I don't like the confrontations anymore, I fear talking to people. I know you are right. Just some times I cannot deal with it anymore. I don't like the confrontations. Explaining everything. The telephone goes and or the door, I feel a fear of opening it. Or answering the phone. I will peek out the window to see if I can see someone out there. I don't have this all the time. But, I find it is getting worse. I don't want to think about my problems. I am dealing with the bills the best I can. I cannot do it any other way. They will get paid, but they will have to wait. Oh well, things can only get better. Thanks for your advice. Take care.
@scapula (760)
• Jordan
8 May 09
No, I've never felt like this, I always make expectations in my life, and I don't afraid from anything, because when you expect something you would be prepare for it, unless you don't prepare for things, this would make life shorter and make you afraid from things. I never let debts accumulate and always prefer positive budget. I think you have to adapt for this thing and expect things and how thing would be before you take actions, don't let fear control you this is the worst thing in person's life.
1 person likes this
@Margajoe (4721)
• Germany
9 May 09
Thank-you for your advice. Fear should not control, I agree. I never expected myself to feel this way. Being prepared is a good advice. Oh yes I prefer positive budget as well. I used to always have positive budget. But lately things have changed. I don't have as much money. It is getting hard to keep up with the bills. So, I should try to prepare myself for these issues. Okay I will try, thank-you. Take care.
• China
8 May 09
Just right now,I'm facing a phone that I don't want to answer.It's from my father,who loves me very much but doesn't know how to convey it.I feel boring about talking to him on the phone,though it's not proper.By far,I haven't had the worry about answering the door.I just welcome all my friends to my home.It's happy to have fun with all the friends!
1 person likes this
@Margajoe (4721)
• Germany
9 May 09
Thanks for commenting. Yes that can happen too. But remember, your father won't be around forever. He loves you, let it be boring for 10 min, and tell him you need to leave. Or you just got a visitor. This way you can get along too. Still it is easy said of me. I have the same issue with a girlfriend of mine. She is so negative. I hate talking to her on the phone, she really can make me feel miserable. But then, she does not love me, so it is not to bad to let the phone ring. hahaha! But still it is not proper of me either. Take care.
1 person likes this
@Yori88 (1468)
• Philippines
8 May 09
I do not have anything to worry because when someone is at the door that is just the guy who delivers food we ordered over the phone. Or in most cases like every month, that would be the guy downstairs who delivers our monthly rent, electricity, cable and water. No one else comes at the door unexpectedly. Of course my husband and his mom are the most people I expect to be on the door. We do not have telephones so I have nothing to worry. I only have cellphone.
1 person likes this
@Margajoe (4721)
• Germany
9 May 09
That is good. It is nice to have nothing to worry about. I don't mind food coming to my door. hahaha! Thanks for commenting. Take care.
@dropofrain (1168)
• India
8 May 09
I do suffer from the same problem. I think that I am also going to go mad as and when these kind of problems going to approach me. Whenever I see an unknown number I get scared as in what is it all about.
1 person likes this
@Margajoe (4721)
• Germany
9 May 09
Yes the panic feeling, I know that too. Your are all ready thinking all kinds of things before you really know what is going on. We have to stop doing that. I know I am suppose to face it. Normally I do. But lately I just don't want to be confronted with these problems. I am doing my best, can't do more than that. Good luck to you. Let's think of it this way: "Things can only get better." Take care.
• United States
8 May 09
Stop being an a** and pay your bills already its people like yo that destroy America. Learn to be more responsible there is no reason not to pay off bills don't spend what you can't pay.
1 person likes this
@Margajoe (4721)
• Germany
9 May 09
I wish is were that easy. I lost my job due to health issues. I get less than half the money I use to get. I am paying my bills, but I am mostly late. That is why they call me, asking when I will pay. And I don't spend money that I can't. I need money to pay my bills and the money I have left I am happy when I can fill up my refrigerator. Believe me, I am doing my best. I have always been responsible, but my health has left me with less money.
@Ruby722 (798)
• China
8 May 09
Yeah. If i were in your shoes.i thought i am scare too.
1 person likes this
@Margajoe (4721)
• Germany
9 May 09
Thanks for your comment. I guess I will have to think positive. Things cannot get much worse, so they can only get better. Take care.
@BlueAngelRS (2900)
• Canada
8 May 09
I have a similar problem right now with a few bills that I owe...I just explain to them my financial situation is really tight right now and I really want to pay and make arrangements with them even if it is a small payment til the bill is caught up good luck I know what it's like to have bills pile up....
1 person likes this
@Margajoe (4721)
• Germany
9 May 09
Thanks for your comment. Yes, I have made arrangements every once in a while. But, how many more can I make? They will be getting tired of me. The small payments is good. I need to remember that, thank-you. I have done that in the past, but recently had not thought about it. Good idea. Thanks, I could use some luck now a days. Take care.
@machatago (385)
• Philippines
8 May 09
Well, to be honest I have not experienced that anxiety or fear, because I am still living with my parents, and we get to share who pays the bills or not. But my advice to you is to face it and be done with it, so that you won't have to worry about anything anymore. I know you can do it, I hope that is being helpful. Good luck :)
1 person likes this
@Margajoe (4721)
• Germany
9 May 09
Thank-you very much. I could use some luck now a days. I know you are right. Just some times I cannot deal with it anymore. I don't like the confrontations. Explaining everything. The telephone goes and or the door, I feel a fear of opening it. Or answering the phone. I will peek out the window to see if I can see someone out there. I don't have this all the time. But, I find it is getting worse. I don't want to think about my problems. I am dealing with the bills the best I can. I cannot do it any other way. They will get paid, but they will have to wait. Oh well, things can only get better. Thanks for your advice. Take care.
@prinzcy (5082)
• Malaysia
8 May 09
I think I am starting to get the feeling. I am still waiting for my payment in the end of the month of May. I haven't been paid since March for payment start after the three months of working (not school or govt. fault but the payroll clerk). Unfortunately, the banks doesn't understand (regardless how many time I explain) They keep insisted I pay by half of it. I am broke, get it? I am trying to survive here but they can't wait to get the money.
1 person likes this
@Margajoe (4721)
• Germany
9 May 09
That is terrible! Can you get in contact with the payroll clerk? Tell him to pay you some, so you can pay your bills. I hope all works out for you fast. I hate these kinds of situations. The waiting is so hard. Wishing you the best. Take care.
@suspenseful (40326)
• Canada
7 May 09
I never was afraid to answer my door, but then I never got in a situation like that, but then I did not want to answer my telephone because of telemarketers and that happened when I was waiting for a phone call. I was wondering whether you could write to the companies and explain why you are unable to pay your bills and make sure to get a doctor's report. If you just say 'I have a bad back" they will not believe you but if you have your doctor's verification of your medical problem, they will probably arrange a payment plan for you.
@Margajoe (4721)
• Germany
9 May 09
Thank-you for your advice. Yes, getting this medical report is a big problem. I can still walk. They are telling me I can work. But I cannot go back to my old job. I am an all round machine operator. Used to work for BDF ,Nivea. Worked there for over 11 years. They say I cannot stand to long, cannot sit too long, cannot bend, or lift anything. What kind of job can I do? Anyway, the payments are usually behind, but I do get them paid. I pay the old bills first. I have everything organized in a binder, so that I can keep everything under control better. But when I am just one month behind, they will start calling me asking me when the money will be paid. I don't like these confrontations. I know I should not be afraid of it. But somehow I find I do have a fear for this. Take care.