Military letter home from a farm kid

@xfahctor (14128)
Lancaster, New Hampshire
May 8, 2009 12:54pm CST
Thought this was amusing and wanted to share it. [i] Dear Ma and Pa, I am well. Hope you are too. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer that being in the Army sure beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled. I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m. But I am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing. Men have to shave but it is not so bad, since there's warm water. Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie and other regular food. But, tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the city boys that live on coffee. Their food, plus yours, holds you until noon when you get fed again. It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much. We go on "route marches," which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it's not my place to tell him different. A "route march" is about as far as to our mailbox back at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks. The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a lot. The Captain is like the school board. Majors and colonels just ride around and frown. They don't bother you none. This next point will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why. The bulls eye is nearly as big as a chipmunkā€™s head and don't move at all. And it ain't shooting back at you like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don't even load your own cartridges They come in boxes! Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they break real easy. It ain't like fighting with that ole bull at home. I'm about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake. I only beat him once. He joined up the same time as me, but I'm only 5'6" and 130 pounds and he's 6'8" and near 300 pounds dry. Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding in. Your loving daughter, Alice
3 people like this
7 responses
@cortney09 (1346)
• United States
14 May 09
Oh my gosh. I love that. I have never seen that one before. It was not what I expected though. I needed that laugh.
• Philippines
9 May 09
Wow and that's Girl Power. you should be proud of your daughter for doing this. I bet she can handle her bullies now more than ever before. I hope she's ok and is going well for her in the Military. If she i deployed to another hostile place, make sure you pray for her safety. God Speed for her.
@kprofgames (3018)
• United States
9 May 09
I've seen that before and still makes me roll. Being a 'farm girl' who was in the service I can relate to this on a few levels.
• United States
8 May 09
Oh hell yeah! Loved it. Thanks for sharing. I needed the laugh. 'Your loving daughter' ROFLMAO Too bad it's too long to text. I'll have to wait till Monday to show this to my girls at work.
@spalladino (17925)
• United States
8 May 09
LOL! I got that in an email a while back and thought it was just too funny! Truth of the matter is though that down here in south central Florida cowboy (and cowgirl) country, we've got younguns just like that.
@Adoniah (7515)
• United States
8 May 09
Thanks Xfactor, I really enjoyed that! We always need a good laugh during the day. I am sure that the kids from the farms do better than anyone else too. I got expert marksman the first time I picked up a rifle when I was in the service. And that was thanks to all the years I shot with my Uncle on his farm. Shalom~Adoniah
• United States
8 May 09
That is absolutely incredible! I have never seen this one before. I love that at the end it is 'your loving daughter, Alice!' I think my other favorite line was the bullseye being as big as a chipmunk's head, but it doesnt move! That will definitely teach you be a sharp shooter! There is so much truth to this letter too. Living on a farm is definitely a lot of hard work. Thanks for sharing.