How do you get over a relation?

@biman_s (1061)
India
May 18, 2009 11:45am CST
My best friend recently had very good relation broken to pieces. Everything was going very well but unfortunately the girl was having an affair. This broke my friend in half. I told him that she was not the right girl for him and thats the only reason she was having an affair. I told him to get over her even though it might be very hard. I feel very sorry for him. I don't know how to help him. If anyone has any solution then please suggest and if anyone ever have been betrayed by someone then please share it with us, as you are not alone.
3 people like this
20 responses
• Philippines
18 May 09
It's really hard to get over that relationship especially if you spend all your time and effort just to be with this girl and when you though that she's the one but all of a sudden she'll just leave you behind. What you can do is accompany him if you have time and try to make him busy like play with him video games. Invite him to a party with your other friends. With that he wont be alone and he wont be sad. Although there are times that he cant stop thinking of what had happened to his relationship but when he see that he has friends around him it would be easy for him to move on.
@biman_s (1061)
• India
20 May 09
I agree with you. Thanks for the advice. I will try my best to acompany him. Do you thing that I should arange a blind date for him or should I wait for a little bit more time just to enable him to forget her.
• Philippines
28 May 09
Thanks for the best response! I think you should wait more days before you set him a blind date. It would be unfair to the girl if she would date a guy who has not get over his ex yet. And it wont help him. Maybe introduce some girl to him just for a friend and if they get along well as a friend it can start from there.
@turones (206)
• Philippines
19 May 09
letting go and moving on could really be the hardest part of ending a relationship especially if you really love the person and a third party was involved causing the breakup. there's really no easy way to recover from this experience but your friend just have to start accepting the fact that it's over. you could help by just being there for him and being a good listener and confidante.
@biman_s (1061)
• India
21 May 09
Accepting the facts and moving on seems to be a good idea.
@blanne (174)
• Philippines
19 May 09
You can always get over a relationship if you choose to do so. One thing I remembered when I had my heart broken was that I really needed someone to talk to. And that's the least thing you can do for your friend. It may not be that much, just listening and taking in everything your friend says, but actually it is really a great help. Another thing you can do is to keep your friend occupied. Let him do things that he really enjoys. Do these things with him even if you really don't enjoy them at all. Lastly, make him feel that you really care about him. And mean it. Knowing that he still has people who love him will help him cope up.. :)
@biman_s (1061)
• India
21 May 09
Chosing to get over a relation is not that easy when you are betrayed by the person you loved the most. What do you do then?
@soumo55 (72)
• India
21 May 09
For me time is the best healer. Tell your friend to engage himself in something else while spending time with his best friends.
@phyrre (2324)
• United States
21 May 09
There isn't any way to do it. It's hard and it takes time. All you can do is be there for him to comfort him and to listen when he needs to talk. My fiance's brother was dating a girl for 5 years and was engaged and planning a wedding and when he found out she was cheating, he was upset for quite a while (as you can imagine). But the best thing to do is not force him to talk or confront him about it, but let him deal with it slowly and do the best that he can. It may seem like his world is shattered, but a broken heart mends quite easily. He'll find someone else and fall in love and forget about old what's-her-face. :) You've just got to wait out the storm to see the calm on the other side. Best of luck to you both and I hope the healing is quick in coming!
@janyen (624)
• Netherlands
19 May 09
hi biman_s, i pity for your friend and i feel sorry for him. i know how hard it is to get over into a relationship especially if it has third party involved with it. your friend and he needs you now. just encourage him to move on and forget about it.
@tundeemma (896)
• South Africa
19 May 09
i can get over a broken relationship by avoiding all contacts with the lady, i try to avoid contacting her through the phone and i make sure that i avoid crossing her paths and coming in contact with her on the road or anywhere else, if i can do this for 2 weeks she will definitely be off my mind
@AMARA91 (15)
• Nigeria
19 May 09
Tell your friend that The only thing he should know in this life is that what GOD does not know don't happen the truth is that she is not his ideal woman, he should try and forget about her entirely, not remembering the moments they spent together, which i know is very hard to do but he should try and forget about her. finally give that comfort he needs from you.
@smileonstar (4014)
• United States
19 May 09
Hi, I know it is hard to get over this kid of relationship but he has to try and you too.. Right now, he needs a lot of help and support from you and other friends. If you can, be there for him everyday... share with him, that might help him out a little. Get over a relationship is take time and it might be short or long depend on how he is. Good luck
@qianmozi (25)
• China
19 May 09
generally,one can only heal from such wounds thoroughly when he begins a new relationship.i mean, begin a new relationship with the right one.busy doing work or some other things can not really help you forget these pains. i suffered such pains either when a 7-years long boyfriend told me he had spent a night with another girl,i couldn't forgive him and broke up with him. but i just couldn't help feeling sad about his betrayal until i decided to begin a relationship with my current boyfriend. my happy time with him made me forget the bad things totally.
• Malaysia
19 May 09
Relations can be forgotten when you keep yourself busy with your life and fill it up with tonnes of activities that you will enjoy and won't even have time to think about the hard times you have gone through after the break up and you can always talk to your friends and avoid listening to slow musics cause it will make you feel sad and think of him or her,try listening to heavy songs and rock songs or happy songs that will make you feel more positive.
@posh80 (44)
• India
19 May 09
Yes, it will be very hard to get over a relationship when it is really serious. And it really hurts when someone cheat in a relation. But time is the healer gradually he will forget about her. As for now always be by his side that's what he needs now. Go out with him , make new friends, do things that interest him and try out for a better relationship. Tell him it is not the end of the world
• Australia
19 May 09
aye man i dont know exactly how it feels, but just tell him to move on, seriously, theres heaps of girls in this world, im pretty sure he can find another one thats right for him :) and, if you keep thinking about her, you'll get even sadder, so why? that girl just had an affair man, dont waste time thinking bout chicks like that
@Hedwig (285)
• China
19 May 09
I am bad at handling these relation problems. However, I think it is better to get over a relation by transfering your focus to something else. When I have just entered university, I was rather depressed for some reason, so I devoted myself to learning English, which did help me to get over the past more easily.
• India
19 May 09
hmm luk budy..he needs tym atleast.. just tel him to take things normaly..there is no meaning of remembering her as she dont deserve him n will not b affected anymore whether he cry for her.. try to keep himself busy..so dat u dnt left tym for her memory.. or if u cant take him out....den tel ur any good female frnd to cover him.. as girls are better caretaker..
• China
19 May 09
this is only your friend's private things,he should heal it by himself,we can do nothing about the emotion between the lovers,maybe he will be very sad as his girlfriend broken up with him,but you should believe he will deal it well.we only can accompany him and listen to his trouble,the best medicine is time,he will be fine in future
• Philippines
19 May 09
well everybody do experience that kind of feelings.. when we enter or commit to any kind of relationship, expect to get hurt, to be happy.. thats the two sides to happen. either you will be happy or you will get hurt. upon committing, we should be ready to any circumstances to happen. and from that experience we should learn something. so the next time around we already knew how to handle the situation.
• United States
18 May 09
I know how that feels, to be betrayed like that. It hurts and I felt miserable for a long time. It takes time and space. Sometimes it helped me to talk with a friend about how I felt or even write it down, just to get the feelings out. It does help even though the pain and anger are there. My husband made a friend on line and next thing I know they are trading emails and calling eachother every day. I was oblivious for a while, oh they are just friends- then he wanted a divorce. It took a very long time to heal from those wounds and some of them are still not healed.
• Philippines
18 May 09
I'd never had a boyfriend but I already had my heart broken and I know how hurt his feelings are. It's not easy trying to forget someone who once was part of your life. What I did to be able to move on was to cut all the communications with him. I forced myself not to look at any of his pictures or anything that would remind me of him. I also bear in mind that there are still lots of fish in the sea. A few months later, I think I'd finally got over him.
• United States
18 May 09
Just help him to keep going every day, it's hard to get over someone when you aren't keeping yourself busy. Space and time will be the best medicine for him right now, he needs to keep space between himself and her so he is not focusing on her or the emotions associated with that. It's not gonna be easy for him, but if he is being surrounded with friends who are supporting him and helping to take his mind off of it then it will get a little easier for him. So just keep being his friend, he'll need that more than anything right now.