Could use some help with this
By karpatzio
@karpatzio (106)
Israel
May 21, 2009 6:33am CST
Alright, there's this girl that i like. I used to be one of her highschool
crushes (she seemed to have had a lot), I should have gone out with her 2 years ago but it didn't happen and she went abroad. One month before coming back, she got a new bf. For the past 3 months, she was pushing or tricking me to have a lunch with her. I accepted, postponed, accepted again, never called her back. This week I accepted again. We were supposed to meet today but I was late and a buddy of mine came along. I then went for a drink with her. Had a really good time, spent most of the night together. At the same time, she brought the bf (or ex i dont really know) topic without me asking, and how part of her wants to go back and live with him, but another part of her is clearly undecided on the matter. Alright, sorry for the long post but its been eating me alive for a while and I thought accepting to see her would clear things up. But it didnt. Or am I just refusing to face reality? Shes a lovely girl but im not really interested in being stuck in the friend zone. Im supposed to go watch a movie with her and her friend tomorrow. Go or cut my losses now? Thanks a bunch for any forcoming advices.
1 person likes this
6 responses
@Crazyracer (177)
• China
22 May 09
oh, iam sorry to hear that you finally come into such a sh*t. maybe she have such condiderations:
1.she wanna show off that she can get a bf if you dont go with her, she asked you to the movie just in order to give you a shame.
2.she just give u the biggest trust, maybe she now consider you as the most close friend, and asking u to the movie just a sign of asking for advice.
so the concret judgements on her you must make according to her personalities and the experience you shared with her.
and good luck@
however, the above two situation, you have no love relation with her!
god bless you!
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (159359)
• Boise, Idaho
22 May 09
Why is this 'friend' always there? I would just ask. If you can get her alone would be best but just ask her what she expects and then think it out in your head. Can I go with this? Do I want more? Am I comfortable? If it didn't happen back afew I wouldn't put much store in it or try to push it along. Enjoy or get out of now before feelings grow and you get hurt!
1 person likes this
@owlwings (43915)
• Cambridge, England
21 May 09
I think that she is sounding you out and checking out loose ends (as she has a right to do). She seems to trust your judgement - or at least wants to hear your opinion - and likes your company. On such a basis are the best friendships founded and often the best relationships.
You say that you like her and that she had a crush on you. Crushes are immature things and I guess (or would hope) that she has grown or is growing out of that. The fact that she brought her bf/ex topic up means that she wants to know your feelings towards her.
Maybe she is playing the field but you are definitely one of the contestants. My advice is play it cool, be a good friend, understand that you are both assessing each other (but never make it seem like that, of course). All friends are good friends - male or female. Never turn down a chance of friendship because it's 'not what you are looking for right now'. She may be trying to put you on the line so choose the right time to put her on the line - if you want to.
1 person likes this
@Cathy1263 (32)
• United States
21 May 09
I would try to get her alone away from her friends and your friends and ask her what kind of relationship is she wanting from you and if you get a straight answer then you should know what to do from there. If she only wants friends and you can deal with that great, if you want more and she can't give it, and it actually sounds like she has alot on her plate to begin with, then it might be time to move on.
1 person likes this
@nikosatan (3)
• India
22 May 09
As the situation seems she is coming with her friend to the movie. So maybe she is confused between you and the other guy. Usually people want to take their friend's opinion too. I guess you should grab the opportunity and go for the movie. If you create a positive impression on her friend, you will be admired more than what you were earlier.
If she plans to go out with you again someday later, take it as a hint that she wants to be with you but don't rush. Wait for the right time and then share you feelings with her.
By the way.. good luck
@firy_al (7)
• Philippines
22 May 09
The best thing that I could say is make the most out of the opportunity to be with her. Sometimes, chances of getting what we want only come a few times or once in our lifetime. We don't wanna grow old and regret not doing things that we could have done. Don't let fear stop you from doing what you want. Getting to know her is the best thing that you should do. Don't be bothered if she has an ex or a bf. You might never know, she might love you if you show her who you are. Life is always about taking your chances, not being afraid of failing or hurting. Just don't expect anything so there is nothing that you could loose. Just go with the flow, Life's journey is just going with the flow.
