Do you have to have ALL the qualities...?

@Maryam27 (412)
Pakistan
May 24, 2009 1:48pm CST
Do you need to have each and every quality to be a lovely wife to your husband? Should you know EVERYTHING from cooking, cleaning, working, entertaining and attending guests and what not.. What if you lack any or all of these? Would your husband still love you for being the person you are? What's your experience guys?
1 person likes this
7 responses
@bjcyrix (6910)
• Philippines
25 May 09
Nope I dont think so. What I know and what I have and what I am makes up 'me'. If I dont have a certain quality then that also makes me 'me'. If I know a certain skill or have a specific talent, then that's 'me'. Others also have their own talents and abilities. I dont have a husband but if he would not love me for who I am or more to the point who Im not, then why marry him in the first place..? Anyway, everyone is unique, our differences are kinda the things that makes us who we are. Then again, that just may be me.
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@Maryam27 (412)
• Pakistan
25 May 09
Thanks for the response Bjcyrix, I liked what you said so I rated it + ;) I completely agree that our qualities and our flaws joined together makes "us" what we are.
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@bjcyrix (6910)
• Philippines
25 May 09
You're welcome and I very much appreciate it. Just continue being 'you'.
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@Maryam27 (412)
• Pakistan
25 May 09
Thanks friend :)
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@mimpi1911 (25454)
• India
25 May 09
Hi Maryam I think love is beyond perfection. No one is perfect and when two people tie the knot they accept each other with the short comings. Working hand in hand helps in eradicating the short comings and even if it doesn't a man or a woman should NOT leave their partners. I think we all have positive sides which over power the drawbacks. We must not frown over our crooked nose but appreciate how beautiful our eyes are. We can work on our crooked nose to make it look better. And if any person leaves his/her partner because of his/her inability to excel in certain areas in life, I think he/she would do a wrong thing.
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@Maryam27 (412)
• Pakistan
25 May 09
Bingo! Hello Mimpi, Thanks a lot and I marked your response as the best one. You are right, marriage is a big commitment, you gotta accept each other with their qualities and their flaws. I know it's hard sometimes but you have to make adjustments as no one (not a single human being) is perfect. Even if you leave them you can't be sure that you'll find someone perfect or without any flaws. So it's better to have something and compromise on the little that you don't have. Thanks Buddy.
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@mimpi1911 (25454)
• India
26 May 09
I agree totally Maryam. Who isn't imperfect! I think, love and integrity are much beyond the imperfections. And thanks for the best response. you just made my day.
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@Maryam27 (412)
• Pakistan
4 Jun 09
My pleasure Mimpi :) Feels good to read your posts. Keep sharing buddy. All the best.
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• Indonesia
26 May 09
I think it's necessary for a wife to have all the quality required to be a good housewife, such as cooking, cleaning, entertaining guests, etc. Because wife's duty is to help her husband doing the chores around the house, while the husband is out there working hard to earn money for the family. That's natural I think. I think the essence of marriage is to work hand in hand in order to make the marriage succeed. So if a woman decides to stay at home, then she must be able to accept the responsibility to do the chores around the house. If wife can't cook, it's still tolerable. But if she can't do almost anything, except shopping and burdening her husband, then she's better to stay single :) I think husband will love the wife even more, if he comes home to a clean and tidy house, and smell the hot yummy meals on the table.
@Maryam27 (412)
• Pakistan
27 May 09
Well thanks Natalia. I don't meant to say that she shouldn't know anything, of course you gotta have some qualities in you but what I was pointing at is if you can't do EVERYTHING perfectly, would your husband still likes you for the person you are for after marriage perfection becomes must. As you quoted the example of husband working outside the house, so should a wife like her husband according to how much he earns?
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@mizcash (686)
• Canada
25 May 09
Absolutely not. Having all the right qualities does not make you a perfect wife, love does that. No one is perfect and couple need to compliment each other in their short comings. So don't strive to be perfect.
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@Maryam27 (412)
• Pakistan
25 May 09
Alright...thank you Mizcash :)
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@mymaria (379)
• Philippines
25 May 09
Hi, Mayam27! Will I don't need to be perfect for my husband..Does he loves me for what I am...Now If one of that qualities I don't have, I dont need to explain it to him just to love me more.. Love is just like accepting to one another. Happy Mylotting!
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@Maryam27 (412)
• Pakistan
25 May 09
Hello My Maria, Yes you are exactly right, love is more about accepting each other as they are and loving each other for being the kind of person he/she is. I was just curious about what if someone loves you and marry you but don't find you perfect as his wife... how much it affects your relationship then. Will he still love you or start looking at your flaws..?
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@Wizzywig (7859)
24 May 09
If a man marries a woman just to get all that stuff done for him then I wouldn't consider that he loved her - he was just looking for unpaid labour. Frankly, if a husband didnt just love me for who I am, then he's wasted his and my time getting married and should give up and leave.
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@Maryam27 (412)
• Pakistan
25 May 09
Yes you are right wizzywig, Thanks for the response :)
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• Canada
18 Jun 09
Cooking, cleaning, entertaining.... all very sexist stereotypes of what a woman should be, if you ask me. My husband and I don't believe in gender roles. We are married because we love eachother. He does all the cooking and cleaning, because he's better at it than i am, and I manage the money. We work very well together, not because of gender roles, but because of the way we are naturally.
@Maryam27 (412)
• Pakistan
19 Jun 09
Okay, that's something new :) Glad to hear so Danishcanadian. I wish you both a very happy life together :) Thanks for replying here.