My brother has a deadbeat girlfriend, HELP!!!!!

United States
May 24, 2009 8:24pm CST
My brother and his girlfriend have moved in with my wife and I, and have been here since February. The thing is, he totally supports her when she does very little to help him. My wife and I have had to put our foot down about everything from helping with the daily chores to constantly reminding her about using utilities since she is the only one in the household that does not have a job. We have taken her to job interviews and even gone as far as to get her interviews with the companies we both work with. I think she doesn't want a job. She has been out of town with her family the last couple days, and my wife and I have noticed that my brother is way more easy going and just more relaxing to be around. How do we tell him he needs to find someone better? He says he harps on her about helping him and us out, but to no avail.
2 responses
• United States
25 Jun 09
At what age is a "responsible adult"? My girlfriend is somewhat the same as his... She does have a part time job at the mall, but has never held a full-time job. She is 21... She says she wants to be a "stay at home mom" but won't do dishes, laundry, and doesn't clean unless I start complaining about the mess. She has recently improved a bit, but has a long way to go yet. She used to let her things just lay around the house as well, but I got a bright idea to start with one room at a time, and clean it and keep it clean. If her, or my, things are laying around, they get thrown away. It has worked fairly well so far, so I hope it continues. However, she was adopted and raised by a single "mom" who is a principal. Her "mom" has only had 1 boyfriend in her life and that was over 15 years ago. She never had any kids of her own, just 2 adopted kids. So with this part, I can see why my girlfriend is the way she is, and I'm slowly trying to break the "old habits."
@meandmy3 (2229)
• United States
25 May 09
This is going to be hard, hard for all of you, I think you need to have a heart to heart with your brother and tell him that if she is going to keep living there then she is going to contribute to the household. It is not right to anyone else that she does nothing. She either gets a job or she does all the cooking and cleaning. Those are her choices and give them a time line to do this. Say a week, you can get a job at a gas station, retail place or restaurant in minutes. If she does not start cleaning the house to your standards then she has to go. If he does not support that then he goes as well. you should not be supporting her in any way. You have to let our brother know that you love him and you do not want him on the streets but it is time she act like a responsible adult and start doing what everyone else id doing in the house.