You love someone who is married-- is that wrong?

India
May 26, 2009 1:28pm CST
A friend of mine is in love with someone who is already married -but is thaat wrong ? they loved each other so much that everything happened,it was like falling in love for the first time,it was unavoidable but no one could stop it. They were not attracted physically they were mad for each other, every second they call up, every problem they solve together, every time they eat together,they laugh together, they cry together- they are like two bodies but one soul. But the only thing is when the day ends they go back to their respective place. My friend comes back to his room and his beloved goes back to her family-- so pathetic. people feel that they are doing wrong-- I dont feel because love happens.
4 people like this
24 responses
@srsade (26)
26 May 09
It is not fair on her part to do like this..If it is just friendship then that is fine..beyond that nonsense..it is cheating.If she is in the relationship,how she will be able to be in touch with him all the time?She really want her husband just to play the role of the father?How can a man accept such thing?If she really dont like her husband,she can divorce him and get into this one..After some years,if that child come to know about this,it will affect his mental health and as well as the mother-son relationship.It is not gud for her,family..nothing wrong in divorcing and get into new life..She might have scared about the society,family.The society,family will betray her more if she do the same thing rather than divorcing.. one more question,is there any plans for your friend to get married ?
1 person likes this
• India
26 May 09
I know its very difficult. My frnd is very much involved, he is not ready to get married to someone else. I guess time will solve the problem.
1 person likes this
@jayrene (2713)
• Philippines
26 May 09
yes it is wrong... even though they are madly in love with each other, it is still wrong because the other one is already married. it's not wrong to fall in love, but it is definitely wrong to be involve or get involve in somebody who is already married to another person. even if the one that is committed says he/she have problems with his/her spouse.
1 person likes this
@ajithlal (14108)
• India
17 Apr 12
I think it is not a good idea to love someone who is married and marriage is always about trust of each partner and people should not try to break this trust.
@Ritchelle (3798)
• Philippines
27 May 09
loving someone outside of marriage is best kept secret and that means even unknown to the "other" loved one. almost any culture, no matter how liberal, views this acting upon another love outside of marriage negatively. if one had been bounded by contract and witnesses of their love could still afford to hurt their mate the third party (who doesn't have anything concrete and only asks for a little, spare, stolen time) cannot hope for anything better. i can challenge a poll with what i said and i believe i would win. peace .
@MartyM (91)
• United States
27 May 09
Of course, everyone has their opionion on THIS subject. Mine?..no one can help who they fall in love with. I know a couple, who were married. They were miserable being married to each other. EACH one them fell in love with someone else.....they ended their marriage on 'decent' terms.Just because you're married, your feelings don't stop. Of course, this is just my '2 cents'.
1 person likes this
@cream97 (29179)
• United States
17 Apr 11
Hi. xparttime1. Welcome to myLot! Yes, it is wrong to be in love with someone else that is married. This other person made a vow to commit themselves to their spouse. They should never carry on any intimate feelings for another person at all.
• India
17 Apr 12
Hello friend, You are right my friend. I also agree with you about this matter. It is a illegal thing. So avoid it. Have a nice day.
• India
27 May 09
No i don't think that there is anything wrong with that. Love is absolutely natural, and you can't help it if you love someone who's already married. But the one catch here, is not to force the married person to your side, unless he or she feels the same towards you. In foreign culture, this practise has become a very common sight, but in our rich Indian Culture, it is not good for the society. Already divorce petitions are on the high in India.
• India
27 May 09
yes you are right--we indians take it in a wrong way. But u know that we cannot blame them. let time solve the prob. thanks for the response. take care.
• India
27 May 09
hi all, i also love someone and she's married. its been more than 3 yrs now. i know how it feels but i love her a lot and cant live without her. and i feel the same thing from her side also. but i think there's nothing wrong in that. afterall this is LOVE.
• India
27 May 09
Thanx for th response. M ay God bless u.
• India
27 May 09
no its not wrong but you need to meet his partenr frist and need to a meeting with his family its happend to me also
• India
27 May 09
I guess meeting her partner will make the thing more complicated, her partner is not aware of the situation. In fact her partner gives very less importance to her,hardly cares for her. Her partner is busy partying, goin out wit frnds etc. thanks for writing.
@TrvlArrngr (4061)
• United States
26 May 09
it is happening to a friend of mine. When they met he did not mention he was married and they dated for about 2 months before she was told. By then it was too late she was madly in love with him. She claims to be content to see him occassionally and to never have him around for holidays. They have to watch where they go and who will be there. She says it does not bother her but I know that years from now when they are older she will be alone and he will be with his wife. He says he will not divorce her. I think it is very sad. Love is strange sometimes.
• India
26 May 09
It is very very strange.
@imsilver (1670)
• Canada
26 May 09
I agree with you that love just happens -sometimes we have no control over our feelings. But we DO have control over our actions; and I think your friend is doing wrong. It's not wrong to be in love but it is wrong to act on it if you aren't free to do so. The married person should be honest with their spouse and get out of the marriage and then be able to freely love your friend.
• India
26 May 09
I feel she is getting the emotional part, attachment part from my friend. May be she never got all these things from her husband. My friend said her many times that they should get married, but the problem is that she is having a small child --the whole situation is bit complicated. They cant stay together and they cant live together.
• India
17 Apr 12
hello friend... reading all of your comments i feel if it doesn't affect any relations...its perfectly alright......
• India
17 Apr 12
Hello friend, No it is not wrong to love someone. But you don't have any right to related with him/her. It is wrong. Have a nice day,
@dookie03 (578)
• United States
27 May 09
Well it is called adultry especially if they are sleeping together and that is wrong. But if they are that nuts over each other it will probably end up a pretty serious relationship ending in probably them getting married and their spouses going through a divorce. But that's the way love works, people are in love and then out of love almost all the time.
@cindyhxf (1447)
• China
27 May 09
"people feel that they are doing wrong-- I dont feel because love happens. "yes,i agree with you.love is love ,not wrong it happened to everyone.but married people shouldn't love other woman and it is unfair to his wife.
@rymebristol (1711)
• Philippines
27 May 09
what is wrong loving someone that is already to someone else? i don't see any problem with it! for me the thing that would make the scenario worst is that you are trying to ruin a good relationship just for you to get the person you love. and that is very wrong , it's unacceptable in human nature and perspective.
@Ithink (1973)
• United States
27 May 09
Yes it is wrong, there is no disputing that. IF they want to continue with their little affair someone is going to get very hurt. If they want to do this and continue it she should leave her husband so he is free to find someone that isnt a cheater in my opinion. She should have the balls to tell her husband, move out and allow him to make a life while she goes on with hers.
@zed_k4 (17641)
• Singapore
27 May 09
I certainly think it's ethically wrong to love someone who is married. Always think of the other party's feelings. Unless the husband or the wife has been abused thoroughly, it is wrong to love someone under those circumstances. Unless they are suddenly single people, then it's a different story altogether.
• United States
27 May 09
I understand that those 2 maybe in love. And love is wonderful. But how much damage is it costing that mans marriage? And if he has kids how much do you think that is going to hurt them? There are all kinds of things you must look at before taking a big jump like that. Because it can hurt in many areas more then they know.
@ajithlal (14108)
• India
27 May 09
I think it is wrong to love a person who is married. I think it hurts the person to whom the person, the person married. I think it is good to make friendship with the married person and there is no wrong in making very good friendship. I think it must be attraction rather than love.
@biggerb (2031)
• India
27 May 09
Each individual is different.We as outsiders cannot pass judgements.If you ask me I would definately say its, wrong.But since you have explained the situation and you are close to these people its sad.You walk into a marriage with a whole lot of expectations and when you don't get what you want I guess one tends to yearn for all things which are missing.One can't really blame this girl.She has a child this poor soul came into this world not because it wanted to.One has to own up for the responsibilities for this child that she has brought into this world.