Mom and Dad

@dfollin (12734)
United States
May 29, 2009 8:56pm CST
Over twenty years ago I was a single parent to two boys.When they were little I was not required to go to work till the youngest one was two.However just before he was two I was attacked and had some major medical issues,which some have left me with some handicaps.During all this time I was not a big partier,never have been and have not been for years.I was then able to get emergency housing assistance and got an apartment for a lot cheaper than I can now.Then I could help my boys by them going to recreation classes for free.We had medical assistance,food stamps,free lunches and breakfasts at school.We got financial assistance at Christmas as well as food assistance then and at Easter time. Then,I met my husband.Before we were married I was pregnant with our daughter.We decided to wait on our wedding till after the baby was born because the insurance that he got with his employer would not cover the pregnancy or birth because I was actually pregnant before the actual marriage date.However we did give up the housing assistance because it was not just me and my boys,he would be with us .And he made a descent living.When she was born they said that both I and my daughter could keep the medical assistance for 1 year due to the fact that I had it while I was pregnant with her.Even thou she could go onto my husbands insurance.They then removed my boys from insurance and said that my husband,then fiance could put them on his insurance.I told them that could not be done.Then we got married.Four and a half years later he got sick and social services said that he should go ahead and not work and go thru the treatments that he needed to do for his back and they would help us financially.He started what he was supposed to do according to the doctor and then social services did not help us as they said.He got worse and social security did not help us till after he died.My daughter and I get $8,000 a year too much to get food stamps,yet need $3,000 more annually to get into an apartment on the low cost housing program.They got rid of the emergency housing assistance years ago.Even when my husband was still alive we could not get housing assistance.Everyone keeps telling me to get back on the housing list.Well,I did.I have been told that the list is six years long and I will get bumped further down on the list each time a foreigner gets on it,because they are considered minorities and there is usually 4 or 5 of them and there is only 2 of us,there for they get priority.I am a single parent again,I cannot get food stamps or housing assistance.Jobs are so insecure.If I give up the social security and find a job that I can physically do and I loose that job I cannot get social security back for 6 more years.People keep telling me to stop homeschooling my daughter and put her into public school where she can get free lunch and breakfast.That is not so.The only way to get that now is if we are on food stamps.The department of recreation does not give classes free to anyone anymore. My daughter is confused.She cannot understand why her older brother always had a home with rooms of their own.And their things are not in storage.Why they got to take classes?Why they always had food? We had money left to get a car.Not a great one,but to get from point A to B. Can anyone understand this?
2 people like this
3 responses
@camomom (7536)
• United States
12 Jun 09
I know exactly where you're coming from. We can barely make it either. I am on medical assistance and so are all 3 kids, food stamps, his son gets free lunch, my 2 girls are on WIC and his income just went up. We could very well lose our benefits and still not be able to improve our situation. I might be able to keep the medical but only until June 26th when we get married then we will all lose our medical except maybe his son because of his ODD and depression. We'll still be broke regardless because his new income only makes up what our food stamps are a month.
1 person likes this
@camomom (7536)
• United States
9 Aug 09
Thanks for best response. As an update: We got married and I kept partial medical assistance. We lost our food stamps. His son lost his medical assistance completely. His son also lost free lunch at school. On top of that his job messed up his start date in his new store, so he didn't get his first paycheck at all. He had to get a cash advance and they shorted him over $100. Then when they fixed it they put both paychecks on one so it bumped up his taxes so this check was shorted over $200. We paid our rent late and our electric is due tomorrow and we don't have money to pay it. Both vehicles are also about to die. We can't afford to get either one fixed. Our cable/internet/phone bill is due on the 15th and he doesn't get paid again until the 20th. We have no milk for the baby either and we used all our WIC checks for August, up until the 20th. We can't let the cable get cut off because we need the internet so we can make some extra money. I just hope with his next check we can get everything paid up before anything gets disconnected.
1 person likes this
@dfollin (12734)
• United States
9 Aug 09
Your welcome and congrats on your marriage. But,I am sorry that there was a bad start. I wish I could help you out.I have $11 to last me till the 3rd of September. Good luck Donna
@camomom (7536)
• United States
10 Aug 09
I know what you mean. I wish I could help you out too. Times are tough for everyone these days though. *HUGS*
@laydee (12814)
• Philippines
30 May 09
Wow, that indeed is tough luck. It makes me think how difficult it is now to have kids than before. Seems like your government isn't up to helping you more than helping foreigners, which is really stupid. Anyhow, so you're saying you're living on food stamps now? Don't worry about your daughter. She will learn to adjust. Isn't there any way for you to ask help from family to help take care of the kids?
1 person likes this
@dfollin (12734)
• United States
30 May 09
No,we can't get food stamps.The federal government d=says that we get too much money from social security.But,we don't qualify to rent a low income housing apartment.Go figure.My daughter can get medical,but I still have to pay a copay.I cannot get medical.You cannot get medical assistance over 21 till your 63 unless you are pregnant.Even if you are on disability you cannot get it for 2 years.The rest of my family is just as bad off as we are.My mom and her brother gets food from a food bank.They used to get it monthly,but because there are more families in need now and less donations coming in they only give out food every other month.When we lived in this county before we went to that food bank and most of the stuff was outdated.Then we had to move to the next county over because that was the only place we could find a place to live.There my daughter could not even get medical assistance and they had no food banks or housing assistance openings.
1 person likes this
@laydee (12814)
• Philippines
30 May 09
Oh my gosh! How are you living then??
1 person likes this
@dfollin (12734)
• United States
1 Jun 09
Barely!
@ANTIQUELADY (36488)
• United States
30 May 09
I HAVE NEVER UNDERSTOOD HOW THEY DECIDE WHO GETS HELP & WHO DOESN'T. Their are people right here that get all the help they can get & don't need it or deserve it. i'm sorry u can't get the help u need for u & your daughter. LIFE CAN BE VERY UNFAIR!!!
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36488)
• United States
1 Jun 09
i'm sorry it has been unfair to you. good people often get the short end of the stick.
1 person likes this