Yes, I have had my heart broken.
By celticeagle
@celticeagle (159754)
Boise, Idaho
May 30, 2009 11:15pm CST
I know it may seem sort of silly but I really thought this guy had it going on. I met him online but he seemed so different. We had everything in common. He was very attentive and gentlemanly. I felt that he was the one for me. Soulmate material for sure. We talked for hours about what we wanted in life and about how we wanted to be treated in a relationship and how we wanted to treat the other person. Yes, we had proclaimed our love for one another. Now I will say hear that I wanted thing to go slow and wanted to wait quite awhile before we met. But he won me over. He was lonely and I was lonely. I had my kids and he had no one. I cut the time in half. Then I cut it nearly in half again just because my feelings had deepened for him so much and I wanted to meet him face to face. We had made plans to meet the 15th of next month. He was alittle scared and I was scared to death. Alot longer for me since I had met anyone and planned to embark on a life with. He had made some comments about how he had a beer gutt and didn't have the best situation in a home. I didn't care. I told him I didn't care about what the media thought was cool or any of the fancy foofas everyone else seemed to need. I just wanted him. He was excited about us meeting. That was about five days ago. He said he would call me later that evening and I haven't heard from him since. He knows that if I know how he is doing and that all is okay I am fine, it is when I don't know that I freak. I think he is doing this because he is chickening out and is waiting for me to tell him to go to the moon. I think he is a wimp! What do you folks think? Meeting online was sort of silly. I realize that and really should have known better. I just know that as much as I want a relationship with someone that if I met someone locally I would be more apt to just jump into something and I felt meeting someone further away would be a safeguard against doing that. Am I totally on the goofey train or what? YES I HAVE LEARNED MY LESSON!! Thank you. I am pretty broken.
4 people like this
12 responses
@amybrezik (2118)
• United States
31 May 09
I feel your pain. I never seem to find the right man. I was married and thought I would be with him forever. Now he is married to a 20 year old and I am in love with someone who doesn't love me back once AGAIN. Maybe someday I will find someone
2 people like this
@celticeagle (159754)
• Boise, Idaho
31 May 09
I am so sorry to hear that. I really thought this guy was Mr.Right. So many things about him seemed so wonderful. His way of life was devine. I really doubt he will be about to find many women who want to move to where he is to live either. I was a nice package for him. His loss. I don't why he is such a wimp and won't just call me. It has been four days. We used to talk morning and night. I am confused and do not understand. He won't answer emails or the my voice messages. Weird.
1 person likes this
@CJgirly (94)
• United States
1 Jun 09
I'm sorry Amy, I'm in the same boat as you I think. In love with someone who doesn't love me (anymore) We aren't in a relationship anymore, just friends, but it still hurts knowing that things can't be like they used to. Just wanted to say I'm sorry for what both you and Celtic are going thru. Hope it gets better soon.
@hanah87 (1835)
• Malaysia
31 May 09
I am sympathy to you as what happenend to you.I am sorry to say my opinion,i think he is do not like you because you already have a kids and afraid and a coward person.I also think he expect more from you.Maybe i am not true.It is just my opinion.I hope you will be relax because you are not alone and life will not be end if he dont want you.
@celticeagle (159754)
• Boise, Idaho
18 May 12
Yep. I never got any of these and have only just found them. I thought you just didn't care to answer me. I am sorry about that.
@celticeagle (159754)
• Boise, Idaho
31 May 09
I really appreciate your input and agree with alot of it. I don't have kids. My kids are my daughter who is an adult and my two grandkids. I helped to raise them so I call them my kids as well. I think he is having a problem with us and he is real busy right now. His inconsideration weighs on me and as time goes by I feel less and less like even trying to salvage anything if he should ever call. His loss.
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
31 May 09
first of all meeting on line is not silly , it is a form of meeting like any other,
does it mean cause you meet someobody face to face that will work, no it doesn't,
many times you have to meet several people before the right one comes along and that is the same with online dating.
I went though about 8 guys online before I found Matt and I have been with Matt now for 10 years.
Yes it was from online, because I had no other way of meeting people and neither did he.
as far as this guy, he could be just scared, if you want to read about some really weird dating experiences I have had over the years, pm me and I will send you to a link, it will be a learning experience for you for sure.
Just don't give up, someone is there for you and you will eventually find him.
Now with cyberspace there is always the possibility that he lost his internet connection,
If it was me I would want to know what happened and why,
I would email him and ask what was the problem, was he afraid to meet me or what,
if the relationship was as good as you said it was then you should be able to ask him and he should be able to give you an true and honest answer.
1 person likes this
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
2 Jun 09
i have seen it happen before, it even happened to me, they get scared and they run
@celticeagle (159754)
• Boise, Idaho
1 Jun 09
Well, I did email him just alittle bit ago and asked him. I told him I would think he would me to go away from this feeling good about him not bad. We will see I guess. I can't believe he just cuts off communication with me all of a sudden. Has time to send stuff to other women but not me.
1 person likes this
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
31 May 09
I have absolutely no idea what to say about this guy. He could be just scared...maybe something happened to prevent him from getting in touch with you...hard to say. I have a friend that repeatedly got into on-line relationships and then would meet these guys and it was always a disaster...sometimes a bit scary. Then again, I know some that have met online and it is the best thing ever to happen to them. I can see how friendships online could possibly develop into more. I kind of have a problem with people seeking relationships online....when that is their purpose. It kind of makes me wonder why if that is what they are looking for, they can't find any in person. I mean some people aren't looking for relationships and they just get to know each other online and that seems more natural.
1 person likes this
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
9 Apr 12
Wow...Anne, you are so cool to bring this discussion back! I never ever saw Celtic's response here. 3 yrs ago! It was either a time when notifications were not working or hmm...I was working full time and taking care of my mom full time and was barely on here.
Sorry, Celtic for not getting back to you on this! So please update us. How are things now?
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (159754)
• Boise, Idaho
31 May 09
It is weird odds that is for sure. I think most of the reason for me is shyness and just not going anywhere to meet guys much. It seems silly to me sometimes and then when I get to know someone it seems fine. I don't know. I don't care much for the guys I have met around here. And, I do not believe that the right person for me is going to necessarily be right around the corner either. I am through looking and trying. If it happens it will have to be a thing really, really met to be because there is very little hope left in me. This guy was such a sweetie. It is very sad.
@Anne18 (11029)
•
9 Apr 12
Hope your heart is mending.
I don't think meeting online is silly, different ways work for different people and sometimes it is easier ot chat and get to know each other by writing than meeting.
Its a shame he is a wimp and chickening out. It is his lost, not yours. I wimped out once of meeting someone, it was a blind date but I didn't wimp oiut the second time around, should have done so really as he was a very domaining man and I went out with him for almost two years. Problem was he was my first proper boyfreind and I wanted it ot work so badly and stay with him for ever. It wasn't until I finished with him (took nearly two years to get him out of my system and I went out with him again during that time! Draft I know) everyone said how scared I always looked when I was with him and how badly he spoke ot me etc.
Try going ot a club and being friends with someone first before having a realtionship with them.
No you aren't on the goofty train, you just want someone to share your life with and to give you some fuss and care etc
1 person likes this
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
9 Apr 12
Anne,
Now this is the kind of old discussion that is cool when it gets brought back to life. It is written by someone who is STILL here and from the looks of it many didn't respond back to responses for whatever reason. It would be nice to hear how Celtic is doing now with all of this. Thanks Anne!
@Anne18 (11029)
•
9 Apr 12
sid.. celtic sent me the links for some discussions from way back to comment on, took me ages ot get around to reponding to them.
It is good ot look back at some of our past discussions and to compare how things are now.
Celtic... as longs as you are happy within your self that id fine, was just answering what was written three years back so it would make sense ot the discussion rather than leap right into the present day as people hadn't written on them for three or more years
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (159754)
• Boise, Idaho
9 Apr 12
@Anne 18- I am just not interested in it anymore. I am in no position to go meeting men now. I don't go to clubs anymore. Did enough of that in my youth. I have other responsibilities and don't really have time for a man in my life. It's not worth it to me anymore.
@Anora_Eldorath (6028)
• United States
2 Jun 09
CE-
I met my current husband online. We were friends for six years before we actually met in person, and trust me both of us were nervous that first meeting. It almost didn't occur because his brother gave him a lecture saying he wasn't going to take him to the airport (and I had paid for the ticket). He was the stronger influence though of the two and got on that plane. Though, we both admitted that we weren't sure what to expect and were nervous. I'd not seen a picture of him (most recent that is, I knew what he looked like from ages ago lol), and he was sure I'd not like his "civilian" self. My best friend went with me and she was actually the one that got me to fly him down to meet face to face after being over one time when he phoned. Thank goddess for a friend like her! During his visit they kept teasing how we should get married and start a family. On the Sunday he was getting ready to leave he proposed to me with rings he bought before he came down. I moved up that summer to live here in Minnesota.
Sure, I heard a lot from others over the years about how internet relationships never work, but I think different. I think they can when you take the time to develop the relationship. Relationships that start as friendships I think are the way to go regardless of how you first meet. I mean, you could meet a guy in a bar/club/group locally that acts the same way. Some guys are just that way.
And, if you give him the benefit of the doubt, maybe he's just as scared as you are and is backing off because he needs some space. I agree, he should talk to you about it, but some guys just aren't that way. Of course, he could be what you say, and if that is the case don't be heart broken, just find a better man. I know it can be difficult, but let's remember that you are a Goddess and deserve to be treated like one.
Namaste-Anora
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (159754)
• Boise, Idaho
2 Jun 09
thank you! I finally heard from him lastnight. I said I stressed him out too much. Guess he needed to blame someone. He is back checking out other women on line and so forth. Things aren't the same. Sad. I really wanted it. Guess it is good I found out now rather than later after putting forth more. I really miss him. It is so sad. I hope we can remain friends. I hate to think of no contact at all. Maybe there shouldn't be. I just don't know.
@celticeagle (159754)
• Boise, Idaho
2 Jun 09
He said that not me. I am trying to do too many things at once. Sorry!
@Anora_Eldorath (6028)
• United States
2 Jun 09
CE-
It is probably better then if you just cut the contact. I mean, if he's going to be right back out in the field, so to speak, after promising to get together with you for a visit that doesn't show any sort of regard for you as even a friend. I'm sure in time you'll find a good man who won't be that way, but I do understand the heartbreak. A man I had dated for four years slept with another woman, then told me, and thought that because he told me it was all ok. I dropped him like a hot potato and never looked back.
Namaste-Anora
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
9 Apr 12
Well many times that can be the worst part, especially in Facebook, the Chat rooms, and yes, maybe even sometimes in here is allowing yourself to meet someone nice and start talking with them, and having feelings and thoughts for them, and make plans to meet them, and then things fall thru. I know that so many times things happen to where you wish you had never met them, and want to take it all back to what life was like before.
All I can say is there are good people out there, you just might need to keep it a little more cautious from now on, and might even consider now sticking to only wanting to meet people who live closer to you as well?
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (159754)
• Boise, Idaho
1 Jun 09
I guess so. It is very sad. I have had to go back on meds that I was really trying to stay off and that is so irritating. It hurts too. He totally bowled me over. Then just stops calling and won't answer phone or emails. What a wimp!
@hoghoney (3747)
• United States
1 Jun 09
I know where you are standing hun...I have a very close friend online that we have been talking more and more since my ex boyfriend kick me out a few months ago but I have know this guy for over a year now but we have taken our relationhip a step more this past month...we have never met but I have very much fallin in love with him...he has talked about meeting face to face and I would love to have the chance to do that so that I could find out how things would go...I feel that I could find happiness with him that I can not find in my own home town...here is a little saying that I kind of live by when my heart gets broken...XXOO
(Love has its ups and downs, its twists and turns. Love leaves you pain, teaches you until you learn and even if love takes so long, it always takes you to where you belong.)
Now the thing with my friend is that I live in Indiana and he lives in Washington...maybe there is a plane ride coming in my life someday...Much love to you sweetie.
@hoghoney (3747)
• United States
2 Jun 09
well hun it might not of been you..it could of been him...sometimes the online relationships are harder then ones in our own home towns...we just have to go with the flow of things on them...but sometimes online is where you might me that mister right and then it also can be that we find comfort in someone that we cant get in our home towns..and that comfort is just enough to help us move on with our lives...I wish you the best of luck in finding a new love..it is just God's way of saying that he has someone better out there for us.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (159754)
• Boise, Idaho
2 Jun 09
Wise word my dear. He and I took our relationship about as far as we could have online. It was like a dream come true. I guess I woke up.
@italysmom (308)
• United States
31 May 09
I completely understand where you are coming from, I dont believe that the area I live in, I will ever find a love. I met my daughters father online, He seemed so awesome... he said he was a dr, but that he was taking a break from it...ect ect ect... It seemed a bit to good to be true.. but.. I fell for him, we spent hours each day on the phone.. and when we werent on the phone we were on the pc talking. I loved it.. I let him come down to "meet" but he never left. He turned out to be an abuser, in a gang, he was a CNA.. not a dr, but he didnt work, at anything.. He ended up threatening to kill my entire family... including me while i was preg. , I got a restraining order, but the judge talked me into taking him back, and I did, because I had fallen so in love with him... but it all stayed the same. He once hit me so hard my mother heard it downstairs over the tv. Thats when I decided no matter what the judge said, I could not let my daughter grown up seeing that. so I made him leave,
But, I didnt give up there. I talked to a guy he seemed alright, so we met, but he ended up being way wierd... he had a peircing where it shouldnt be.. if u know what I mean.
Then I fell in love with another guy... *but we are still friends*... and he went and got another gf while we were trying to hook up.
Then I have a guy I have talked to for many years... but I wont meet him.. Kinda scared I guess... and I am not so sure I would like him as much in person as I do on the phone and on the computer.
But I still think there are good people ont he computer, Just dont get your heart so involved until you meet him person,,, thats what I tell the guy that I have talked to for years..
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (159754)
• Boise, Idaho
31 May 09
I am sorry you have had such a rough time. This was my last try. I won't put forth like this again. I totally opened my heart to him. I don't blame you for being scared now. I would take it as slow as you can. If he waits great, if not, plenty more where he came from. I have alot of good friends on the computer. Some I have had for years too. I hope things work out for you. I am someone who just doesn't want to be alone but I guess fate has different plans ,and, I do enjoy being with my family.
@italysmom (308)
• United States
31 May 09
I am with y ou there! I hate being alone... Yea... I have my family, But.... I really want a guy. I have been 100 percent single for over 4 years now. but, it sure is hard, I just love the feeling of being in a relationship
@CJgirly (94)
• United States
1 Jun 09
I'm sorry for what you're going through. It's hard to say if he was sincere or not in the things that he said to you while things were good and you were planning on meeting, maybe they were sincere. Maybe he was not completely honest in the things he told you about himself, like his finances or relationship status, etc., and he realized you'd find out when you met him. of course it is really irresponsible and cruel though to make someone worry about you, leave them hanging, not knowing if you're okay or not. I can't think of a rational reason why someone would do this, but I know it happens all the time, I hate to suggest it, but maybe he's married, and didn't think you two would ever actually meet. I've heard of some guys that will flirt shamelessly online, never admitting they're married, but why take it to the level that he did. it doesn't make much sense. I am just really sorry to hear that he hurt you and hope that you're feeling better soon.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (159754)
• Boise, Idaho
3 Jun 09
I think so too. He says I stressed him out too bad. I think he is a wimp. He isn't rational. He is a wimp. I think he needed to have some love and he got it and then freaked. He says he can't afford to come to meet me. Has his son coming next month. Fine. I am so disappointed in him it will never be the same anyway. He isn't married. He is a wimp. Thanks for your response.
@jcc51189 (78)
• United States
1 Jun 09
Finding the right person can be pretty hard. I have also had my heart broken in the past. Sometimes society makes it hard for some relationships to begin because people worry too much about what other might think of them.
Online relationships can be hard even before you meet them because there are trust issues even more so than in face-to-face relationships. It is important to note that being desperate and lonely can make you do some things that you would not normally do. I think you should find people only when you have your mind and emotions in the right place and not going out of control.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (159754)
• Boise, Idaho
2 Jun 09
Yes, it can be hard. I sue thought I had found him. It was like a dream come true. He had everything I ever wanted and more. And just quit calling me. Now he says I stressed him out. Poor thing!
