Wishing for something different....
June 2, 2009 11:18pm CST
My freshmen year in college, I mean this "cool" person in my intro to civil class. We got along really well, but in the middle of the quarter, she met this guy (who also happens to be in the class).So we all kind of became a "group" of friends - all three of us and had a great freshmen year. Didn't live together then but sophomore year, we decided to live together (me and her) and the guy would live with his guy friends. Then the resentment came - at first the distance between me and her grew simply because she doesn't like me hanging around with him. Then she just started avoiding me and became really nasty and mean to me. Later on in the first quarter of sophomore year - i found out that they were dating. Honestly, I couldn't have cared less. What I didn't understood (and still don't understand) was why she felt like she needed to avoid me or be mean to me. At the end of that year, I wrote her a note "apologizing" for what I did, though I wasn't sure what I did. I only apologized for my own sanity - and to have closure in that friendship. I had a great junior and senior year after that. Though sometimes I still think about them two - and really wished that life worked out differently for all of us. Ever wish that something worked out differently in any of your friendships (broken or otherwise)? Please share.
1 person likes this
12 Jun 09
Sounds to me like she was worried about you being a threat to her relationship with that guy. If you all got along great and were good friends, maybe she thought he might have feelings for you and by putting distance between you, you were less likely to have any impact on the two of them. Sad that you apologized for something you didn't even do :( but I understand what you mean about sanity! I have one friendship that I absolutely wish had turned out differently. I crushed on the same guy all the way through high school - even when I eventually caved in my last year and agree to date someone else. Always considered him to be one of my very best friends. We could talk about anything, could always count on each other for help or an opinion... he was just a great guy. But, I was painfully shy all the way through school and I couldn't bring myself to go the extra steps to let him know how I really felt about him. He was "the hot guy" that all the girls wanted -- you know that type? LOL Anyway, I used to actually get threatening calls from other girls telling me to "stay away from him" because they wanted him. It was so immature because we were JUST great friends... no matter how much I wanted more. Years later, he showed up on my doorstep to wish me happy birthday. He was a drummer in a band and had been gone from our town for a long time... but he remembered my birthday! I was shocked. We sat on the front steps and talked for hours. I was so happy to see him. As we reminisced, I finally "confessed" how I'd felt about him all those years ago (I lost the shyness in a big way after high school LOL). You know what his reaction was? He looked me straight in the eyes and just said, "WHY didn't you ever TELL me?!" In that moment, I knew I'd missed out on what could have been a very good thing. By this time, though, we were both adults... him in a committed relationship, me in the middle of an awful divorce. So it's not like we could have turned back time or anything. But yeah... "regrets, I've had a few," as the song goes ;)