Child Abuse... To forgive, or not forgive?

United States
June 8, 2009 5:50am CST
As a child, I was abused sexually by a close family member. When the incident was reported, this person admitted their crime and begged my forgiveness. The abuse stopped at that point but now, my significant other can't understand why I would still have anything at all to do with this person. Has anyone else been in a similar situation? How did you/are you handling it?
2 people like this
9 responses
@david2005 (798)
• Canada
21 Sep 09
I think that everyone deserve to be forgiven but you can always remember what has happened though and realize that people do sometimes make mistakes.
• Pitcairn
22 Jun 09
If you really want to forgive him with no hard feelings, then go for it. But this doesn't mean that you're freeing him from the law. He abused your humanity and dignity, so fight for your rights. Go on with the case and let that person suffer or pay back for what he did. It's not easy to be in that situation. It's hard to deal with it. I hope you could move on.
@rsa101 (38019)
• Philippines
8 Jun 09
Well forgiveness doesn't mean that he will not suffer the consequences of his crime. I think its time to forgive this person but not giving him the right to be free from his crimes. i think he should stay in jail to pay for his wrongdoings. I think you should let him realize that. Forgiveness means you are ready to let go of the pass and move one with your current life and be happy with it.
• United States
9 Jun 09
It would take God to help me forgive someone like that. But would I be friends with the person even after I forgave him? Know I couldn't be friends after all that. Its a good thing that the abuse stopped. But the memories always remain because of the damage done.
@leyisa (486)
• Canada
11 Jun 09
I am the kind of person who normally preaches forgiveness - however, in this situation I can not see forgiveness as being an option. This person violated your trust when you were just a child - I would not give him the satisfiction of forgiveness
@kamisha (95)
• Mauritius
10 Jun 09
this person should never be forgiven as he has taken advantage of ur childness and at that time u were innocent and didn't guess between right and wrong..but not as u r growing u r realising it but there's a saying "whatever happen happens for good"..try to forget it as a bad nightmare
@12082008 (87)
• India
8 Jun 09
That person should never be forgiven... If he is someone very close to you den avoid him .... and again if it happens that he disturbs you mentally den report your parents .... Parents are the best people who can handle these situation well..
@rdadey (484)
• Canada
8 Jun 09
It is hard to understand sometimes but some people who are abused can forgive but I'm sure they never forget. Getting abused by a family member is quite common and it is different than being abused by a stranger. A stranger is not seen as often throughout your life like a family member is. Other family members may be outraged or not and that plays a big factor. My step-son was abused before I met his mother and he told me about it a year after I married his mom. I talked to him about it and even though he was only 6 years old he wanted me to report it. It was his cousin that did it and he ended up getting a a slap on the wrist for it. My step-son still talks to him and I am about the only person who finds it weird. The other family members are pretty passive about it considering he abused other members in the family as well but they never took it to the courts. I don't like that but the family. which is a very large one, has been exposed to that kind of abuse from other members and it is crazy. A victim needs to get the message out there that they will not tolerate anymore abuse, you have to let the abuser know that you are not weak anymore like you were when you were a child. As a victim you have a choice of being strong or falling apart. Having friends and family that support you is very crucial and keeps you sane.
• India
8 Jun 09
V shudnt forgive... it shud and must stop everywer in the world/..