My daughter thinks she knows everything.........................
June 9, 2009 7:40am CST
Hi Everyone,I am at my wits end. My 12 year old daughter thinks she knows everything. It is maddening, you can't tell her anything without a smart aleck comment or dirty look. She's also hit the stage where everything is stupid and treats everyone in the house (except her dad) like crap. She was with my mom this past weekend for a fair and everything was "lame" or "stupid". Needless to say, my mom probably won't do the fair thing with her anymore. Aside from getting upset and constantly blowing my top at the frustration (because I know that is not going to help) are there any suggestions on how to handle this or is it just trial by fire? The biggest issue is that my 6 year old is starting to pick up on the attitude. All my girls are pretty headstrong and by the end of the day I am pretty much too tired, stressed or irritated to think rationally on how to help my problem. I feel my oldest is too old to be "spanked" (I'm not in to the hitting thing anyway) and sending her to her room constantly is getting redundant, besides, I think she actually likes going to her room now. So what am I to do, I can give her space but don't want her to feel like I'm alienating or ignoring her. It's like being stuck between a rock and a hard place. Any suggestions/comments?
• United States
9 Jun 09
ah the rock and the hard stone! Yes having girls is exactly that. There is never a right or wrong answer here for you never know how our girls are going to react, or how they will process what is going on in their heads and their changing bodies. I was lucky my daughter didnt start what I refer to as the "ATTITUDENESS" until the day she hit 16 . . (oh boy and then she made up for the lost time) . . I was a single mom so it was just the 2 of us . . so it wasn't that bad . until that day I woke up, and I swear I thought an alien had taken over her body .. I was screaming to the stars up above . PLease return my sweet and delicious daughter back to me . . And so life goes on....and we take it one day at a time . . and though my daughter is now 19 . .I still cant believe how much more she knows then me! Ha . . makes communicating oh so difficult .. . so I ask alot of stuff via text messaging. .ha ha ha On a serious note,like I said there is no clear cut answer here. . the best thing you can do . .is be a positive role model . .. validate her feelings . . and make sure any and everything you say and do with her reinforces a healthy self esteem. Pick and choose not only your fights with her but be ever so careful how you express your opinion on how she looks or dresses (as long as it isnt inappropriate And remember when girls get to a certain age they are looking at us (their moms .and questioning everything that we are and that they think they dont want to become) Moms definitely have it the hardest with daughters in these teen years . and the dads get all the credit. . But all my friends who have been here before tell me not to worry . that my delicious girl will be back again .. WHEN SHE BECOMES A MOTHER!!!! Breathe deep and then breathe again . this phase too shall pass and always remember. . A son is a son till he takes a wife But a daughter is a daughter for the rest of your life happy Lotting to You!
• United States
12 Jun 09
When kids get into their teens, they start to develop FLY THE COOP SYNDROM. The closer they are to leaving home, the more you say is wrong to them. Keep that in mind in all your thinking. Maybe some communication will help. Get an ugly face from her, run over give her a big hug. Tell her you love her no matter how sour her face is. Perhaps a talk in private on respect and how to treat others. Give her tasks then do not tell her how to do them. Treat her like an adult. Be her best friend. In punishment, be firm Give her options let her choose the results. Example. If you talk nice to people, she can stay up late. If she is mean and ugly, take the internet or tv away for a time. Kids are smart.They do take work but will a bit of planning ahead and thinking, you can stay a step ahead.
9 Jun 09
been there, done that. my daughter is 16 and believe it or not, it does get a bit better. you have to hit her where it hurts the most. take away computer time, phone time, that sort of thing. my daughter was very difficult when she was that age and its just lately she has been a little more 'human'. forget the terrible twos - its definitely the terrible teens!