What will you do if your boyfriend / girlfriend takes you for granted?

Philippines
June 22, 2009 1:59am CST
Yeah, what will you really do if your better half / boyfriend / girlfriend is constantly taking you for granted? Yet, you don't have enough courage to break up with him/her because you love her/him too much? It's actually my friend's dilemma right now. As you see, his boyfriend has been taking her for granted alot - as in he almost always cancel their dates and when he said he will go to her place, he never shows up and will just text her to go next week. Their relationship has been like this for almost a year now. They even meet up once a month. What advice could I give her but to break up with him, but like I said, she doesn't have any courage. Pls. help.
1 person likes this
16 responses
@buitzh (76)
• Philippines
23 Jun 09
Taking for granted have many meanings. maybe perhaps the other party has too much problems or things in mind. but if you are taking for granted that should not be the cause for break ups. just talk and sit down for the issue be settled. communication is very important in a relationship. constant communication and constant talking makes it better.
1 person likes this
• China
15 Oct 09
I think you can ask her to consult a psychologist. I think her timidness is from her past life experience,for example maybe she didn't have a happy childhood,maybe she didn't feel safe or protected, and maybe her father once always took her mother for granted... there are many possibilities. I was once very timid and unconfident,so I turned to a psychologist for help.After the treatment, I feel much better. Once I'm also very sacred of my boyfriend especially when he is angry, and unfortunately he is often angry at me for he knows that he is safe to pour his anger on me because I was to timid to rebel, so I once was almost a emotional trash bin for him. But now, I'm much stronger and will not let others tramble on and psychology helps me to understand myself much better so it provide me opportunities to repair my past hurt. So ask you friend to find a psychologist for help though it may be helpful. Good luck with your friend.
• Philippines
14 Oct 09
Sometimes love is spelled T-I-M-E. Although I don't suggest jumping to conclusions but I think his actions mean "I don't have time for you." If I may restate that, it could me mean "You're not worth my time." or "You're not my priority, sweetie. Sorry." I don't mean to belittle what you're friend is going through, but this is a painful wake up call for her. I'm sure your friend knows she's not worth some guy who just puts her 10 notches below on his priority lost. Having courage, I think, starts when you know how much your value is worth fighting for. Hopes she overcomes this really fast. God bless.
@kalav56 (11504)
• India
23 Jun 09
Sugggest that she should tell him that straight first , -that she is unhappy with the situation and that he is taking her for granted and that she may contemplate splitting up.[if his reasons are legitimate that he has had his work appointments etc or she is already aware that he has good cause, then she would have to tell him that they can meet infrequently when the time is suitable for both. If he does not agree to a via media then she can contemplate breaking up. Let her do an objective analysis of tyhe situation and if otherwise eh is a good person and she likes hi m a lot then there is no point in hurrying a split, because the next one may be even worse.The overall picture must be had in mind with a lot of maturity and same maturity should eb shown by both. One cannot behave like a spoilt brat. RELATIONSHIP IS A TWO WAY STREET AND SHE MUST HAVE AN OPEN TALK WITH HIM ON EQUAL TERMS.
• Malaysia
23 Jun 09
As what you said, your friend has been in this situation for how about a year. I guess you should try different way to advice her, normal advice doesn't make any significant impact. Maybe you can suggest her to travel around, thru this she can direct her mind and open up her mind, and wait herself to discover what's wrong with this relationship.
@wergild (189)
• Philippines
23 Jun 09
You know the situation sound familiar to me. in my case Im the one who got neglected and sadly, the relationship broke. The way I said neglecting your partner builds resentments and other negative feelings and these things slowly eats up the very foundation of the relationship. So I would suggest that you start talking to your boyfriend and tell him about your feelings. Start talking about what kind of relationship that you really wanted for both of you. I do hope he responds positively because if not i think you better start rethinking about everything so as not to waste time to a love that is not real.
• China
23 Jun 09
the both parts have to be care of this problem, the two of them should respond it ,They should make sure why the boyfriend treat the girl in this way now? That is very important. Is she out ? Can she take care of him really? Or do they still really love each other any longer? If one of them doesn't love the opposite part, it is better to close the romantic relationship , and get a new friend who does really care about each other. Life is very precious ,especially for a young pretty girl, it is unworthy to spending life with a guy who doesn't cherish you.
@tundeemma (896)
• South Africa
22 Jun 09
i will simply give her some warnings and then if she persist in such a nasty act, i will simply stop calling her and seeing her and then she will realize that i mean my words an action, i have a girlfriend like that presently but i have stopped seeing her because she is slefish and will never listen
@eLsMarie (4135)
• Philippines
22 Jun 09
your friend doesn't deserve that guy... thinking about breakin' up is really painful but it would kill you slowly if you're just goin' to tolerate yourself to be engaged in a wrong relationship... she should accept the fact that the more she'll show to her boyfriend that she's weak, the more her boyfriend would find ways to hurt her.
• Malaysia
22 Jun 09
Well there should be certain reasons why we are taken for granted for sure and I will search for that reason before doing anything.Well, I think that when you find out the reasons why it all happen it is easier to make a move.Sometimes he or she is not ready to be in a relationship and hence doing things to show you that they are not ready as a signal of asking it to stop since they don't dare to say it in words. So maybe the relationship should be ended and being friends would be greater than now.That is based on my experience and opinion.
• Malaysia
22 Jun 09
Frankly speaking, her boyfrined shouldn't treat her like that. Howevr, I don't think it means that the guy doesn't love the girl anymore. Sometimes, guys thinking is different from girl. I think she should talk to her boy friend. If the situation still continue, the I would advice her to break up with her boy friend. It takes time to recover. However, as her friend, you should always be by her side and give her support she she need it.
• China
22 Jun 09
I think that the lover hold each other's hands on the premise of loving between each other.now,obsolutely,the boy don't love her.so,breaking up is the best way to choose
• Philippines
22 Jun 09
If the point came that I feel like my boyfriend is taking me for granted it's about time to talk to him how I feel so he would know how I was feeling. I do not think that breaking up is the solution, well not instantly. I think your friends should talk to her boyfriend and tell him how she feels when he cancel their date or not visit here for days. The guy should know that what he is doing is causing someone pain and isn't right. If he doesn't make an effort despite the talks, help your friend by surrounding her with support and encouragement that she deserves better than him and what he is doing isn't right in a relationship. Involve her in activities she would have fun and not think about the guy. Take her out on a girls' night out or simply just hangout...I'm sure she would come to her senses after a few days. If a guy really is into a girl, he would find means to be with her...However, the initial step to do is to confront the guy and ask him why he is doing so...perhaps he has his own reasons, too.
@jencai (3416)
• Philippines
22 Jun 09
Her boyfriend was such a loser. He should not do that to his girlfriend. If he did not love the girl then better tell it as early as possible rather than leaving their relationship hanging around.You're friend should start to learn how to have the right courage for herself. If he really love that guy, set him free. Give him the happiness he wanted. If they are really meant for each other they would still be together in the end. For now, start to move on. Enjoy life. Good luck to your friend. Hope that she found happiness in her life.
@BlueGoblin (1833)
• United States
22 Jun 09
"What will you do if your boyfriend/ girlfriend takes you for granted?" Tell them to knock it off. Seriously, talking with your partner is the best option.
@med889 (5958)
22 Jun 09
She should be gaining back her confidence and to know what she is worth I am sure she worth a lot for a guy who is taking her for granted everytimes. I would have already left him. To love someone is very good but what if that person is ridiculing your love will you continue to love him! I would not because I trust myself and I love people in my surroundings too whom I cannot betray. People who love me would see that I am being hurt by someone and they will be hurt too so I cannot hurt so many people just because ONLY ONE person is taking me for granted!