Marry someone who is less educated than you? What is your view?

@thhoon72 (1010)
Singapore
June 23, 2009 3:48am CST
Hi myLotters, just wondering how many of you would marry someone who is less educated than you. Just to share with you guys that I'm a degree holder and my spouse only finished his primary school education. We are happily married now with 2 daughters. I can still remembered those very difficult times we had convincing my parents. My mum was 200% against my relationship with him. Many people especially my university friends were very surprised when I married him. I don't regret my decision at all cos my hubby is a humble, down-to-earth and caring man who puts his family (my daughters and me) as his pirority. Happy myLotting =))
8 people like this
57 responses
@dismalgrin (2602)
• United States
26 Jun 09
I would probably be willing to be in a relationship with someone less 'educated' than I am. I was homeschooled, so many would see me as 'less educated' but, I don't see it like that at all. Also I'm going for a certificate program starting on Monday. But, I don't see it as a way to make myself better than others, but a way to better myself. If that makes any sense.
@thhoon72 (1010)
• Singapore
27 Jun 09
Hello dismalgrin =)) I applauded for how you see yourself. I totally agreed that upgrading yourself through education is not to be better or more superior to others. But it is a self fulfillment process to better ourself and to increase our own knowledge. Have a nice weekend ahead and all the best for Monday. Cheers o
1 person likes this
@savypat (20246)
• United States
25 Jun 09
My Hubby is not as educated as I am, but he is a good person and has taken better care of me than anyone else in my life. I wanted a family and a good person to live with, money was not a big priority in my life and long as we were fed and housed. We both worked and I often made more money than he did but it never bothered him that I did. He is happy within himself and is always a steady influence for the whole family.
@thhoon72 (1010)
• Singapore
27 Jun 09
Hihi savypat =)) Looks like we are both very fortunate to have such wonderful hubby. Both of our hubby are confident and happy that they don't feel insecure with their wives being more educated than them. Have a good weekend ahead! Cheers o
1 person likes this
@Ritchelle (3797)
• Philippines
25 Jun 09
i see no reason against this except the supposed to be suggestion in books that in order to build less stressed life together both individuals should be more of birds of the same feather. but if fate puts them together, well, that is one more area when all time tested facts fail .
@thhoon72 (1010)
• Singapore
27 Jun 09
Hello Ritchelle, Thanks for the comment. I guess what the book is trying to say is that there will be less arguement = less stress if both people are similar in their ways of thinking and their point of view. For me and my hubby, we usually talk things out and discuss if both of us got different views about something. In our relationship, beside love and chemistry, communication and respect are equally important. Have a good weekend ahead =)) Happy myLotting.
2 people like this
• China
24 Jun 09
Hi~ Many people tend to believe that marriage has nothing to do with education level. I have to admit that there are cases like this. Two persons having different education experience can have a lot in common and live a happy life. But I hold a different view. I'm a postgraduate and I've never thought of marrying a guy who is less educated than me. Of course, if he is a degree holder, that's fine. I mean I won't stay in relationship with him if he only finished primary or middle school education. I'm afraid we won't be able to have something in common since our education background is far different as education influences a person in many aspects. He may not feel interested in what I'm thinking about, and vice versa. I'm not boasting about my superiority. I'm a modest person and I have every respect for others. Hope you got my meaning. Happy mylotting!
@thhoon72 (1010)
• Singapore
25 Jun 09
Hi Xiaoyue, thanks for sharing your different view. I believed that there are many people sharing the same view as you out there. Happy myLotting =)
@khayshenz (1387)
• United States
24 Jun 09
I'm currently with someone who went to technical school, and I have a Bachelor's Degree. I still would like to go back to school for my Master's and he wants to go back for a Mechanical Engineering degree. In the early stages of our relationship - he was a tad bit insecure about my degree. He didn't think that my parents would accept him because he only went to technical school. He kept on telling me that my family is so successful because we all have degrees, this and that. I think he was also a lil bit insecure with this "class" thing. My family and I are "supposedly well-off" while his family is "poor". I say these with qoutes because I don't think my family is well-off nor do I think his family is poor. I told him that my family started with humble beginnings - we knew where we came from and know that hard work pays off. We also know that not everyone is as blessed as we are. He was surprised though on how much my parents accepted him (and I must say they really like him!). Even though my bf doesn't have a degree- he knows more than most people. He's a very smart guy! He would make a great engineer - very innovative. I've told him a lot of times!
1 person likes this
@thhoon72 (1010)
• Singapore
25 Jun 09
Hi khayshenz, my hubby was also feeling abit insecure in the beginning of our relationship, also due to my mum's strong objection. But luckily, he is a very confident man and we persisted all the way. I am happy to hear that your parents like and accept your bf. Cheers.
• Philippines
23 Jun 09
We are both College Degree holders and it has nothing to do with our education why we chose each other. When we love a person, we accept them who they are and what they are. It is not because of what they have, actually that will be a bonus part. But then, relationship cannot be measured by ones partners success in life. I do believe that both should help each other and compliment each other very well. If a spouse is lacking in educational background, it does not mean that he or she will be inadequate to fulfill ones need. I am happy to hear that you and your hubby are doing well and I am sure that your mom would now understand the reason why you chose your hubby among other men who courted you. It is really important that a persons ability to love is not because he must possess such material things in life to make the other person happy.
1 person likes this
@thhoon72 (1010)
• Singapore
25 Jun 09
Hihi =)) Yes, indeed my mum can see the reason why I insisted on marrying my hubby. She is very pleased with my hubby now cos he really takes good care of me, my daughters and my parents. Cheers.
• United States
23 Jun 09
so what if the person is less educated....do you love him? does he love you? and you know the person, this is your call!
1 person likes this
@thhoon72 (1010)
• Singapore
23 Jun 09
Yes yes, I like your attitude!!! It's my life and it's my decision to marry who ever I love. Cheers =))
• India
23 Jun 09
There is nothing about the education status in marriage. The thing is leading a balanced life. When both of them are educated, there will be so much ego's in decision making in some families. Your family is very nice and balanced one. It's all depends on the care and the love. Though education is neccessary,it alone cannot make a good life!
1 person likes this
@thhoon72 (1010)
• Singapore
23 Jun 09
Hi expressnature, thanks for sharing. I agreed with you totally that education is neccessary but it alone will not determine the character of a person. Before I met my hubby, I have been dating a few of my University friends. Many of them were egoistic and too full of themselves. That is why I was attracted to my hubby who is matured, humble and down-to-earth. I am so glad that we overcome all the obstacles and finally get married. Cheers o
• Philippines
23 Jun 09
Love know's no bounderies marrying a person didn't require any educational degree it requires true love.
1 person likes this
@Ammudoll (549)
• India
24 Jun 09
When we love some one we do not really think about the education what they have done. Most important thing should be considered is, Is he going to take care of me, love me and are we going to live happily or not. That is what matters. I do agree Education is important but we can not depend totally on it when it comes to marriage. Also I have seen some families where wife has masters degree and well educated but husband is a Graduate. Now this guy got some ego problem and behaving like a hell in the family. It depends on the person to person who take it. If they think in apositive way then there won't be any problems in a family. I wish you All the best!!
@thhoon72 (1010)
• Singapore
3 Jul 09
Hihi =) Yes, I totally agreed that it all depends on the character of the guy. If the guy is a confident and mature person who doesn't have a big ego, just like my hubby, then there won't be any problem in the family. It is very important for the person to have the correct and positive way of thinking. Happy myLotting o
@thhoon72 (1010)
• Singapore
3 Jul 09
Hihi =) Yes, I totally agreed that it all depends on the character of the guy. If the guy is a confident and mature person who doesn't have a big ego, just like my hubby, then there won't be any problem in the family. It is very important for the person to have the correct and positive way of thinking. Happy myLotting o
@thhoon72 (1010)
• Singapore
3 Jul 09
Hihi =) Yes, I totally agreed that it all depends on the character of the guy. If the guy is a confident and mature person who doesn't have a big ego, just like my hubby, then there won't be any problem in the family. It is very important for the person to have the correct and positive way of thinking. Happy myLotting o
@SomeCowgirl (32266)
• United States
3 Jul 09
I do not think that educational status should really make a difference. I realize that if one person is smarter then the other in some areas it can bring tension. I do not like math and am in fact bad at it, my fiance is great at math. I have him do most of the math that we do to figure out how much we can spend, etc, and sometimes I get upset at myself. On rare occasions he'll make me feel bad without realizing it, but seeing as I do realize it was an honest mistake, I get over it quickly or try to. Love is the most important thing either way, education is just something that helps give a person more chances to get a job in the career they choose, but doesn't mean that a less educated person can not go up through rank in their own chosen expertise. Well this is a great discussion and I am glad that you are happily married despite your mother being against it.
@thhoon72 (1010)
• Singapore
4 Jul 09
Hello SomeCowgirl, thanks for your great response. I am happily married and I am glad that I persisted on with my husband. As I'm more educated, my hubby would leave my daughters' school work to me while he will help up with most of the houseworks at home. We complement each other in the family. Cheers =)
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32266)
• United States
5 Jul 09
They do say opposites attract. You get a break from doing chores whilst helping your children, and he (from what you've insinuated) seems to enjoy cleaning! I know that when my fiance and I have children he'll be helping them with math, with myself helping with English, and then of course we'll split chores. It's always great to hear such happy stories from and about couples. Have a wonderful day.
@gcorp09 (940)
• Singapore
23 Jun 09
Well, I don't really think that education level should be a barrier to love and marriage. As long as you are happy with the guy, I do feel that it's fine that the woman is better educated than the man. For me, my husband is also "less educated" than me, but I do not think it's a problem. The main thing is the feelings for each other...
@thhoon72 (1010)
• Singapore
23 Jun 09
O yes, I do agree with you that the feeling and love between husaband and wife is more important than education level. In my circle of friends, I am the only one who married a 'less educated' man. But who cares cos my hubby is earning more than a university graduate and most important is that he respect and love me. Happy myLotting =))
@gcorp09 (940)
• Singapore
24 Jun 09
Yes, it's true. The feelings are more important than the education level. For me, I do not care what people may say. Anyway, I also do know of others who also marry someone who's lesser educated than she is. There's a few in my company who are also in this type of situations but they are not bothered about it at all.
@daliaj (5689)
• India
7 Jul 09
I don't think it is a big issue to marry somebody who is less educated. Usually girls don't want to marry somebody who is less educatd than them. They want somebody of their education or a little higher education. I never thought about this matter when I was searching for a guy. Even for me, I don't want to marry somebody who has just completed 10th grade and me bieng completed my master's degree. A little education difference is fine. I don't think modern girls give much importance to education level. They give more importance to how much money the man makes, more than what the education level of man is.
@thhoon72 (1010)
• Singapore
8 Jul 09
hello there, thanks for the response. During my dating time, I also restrict my choice of bf to the same or slightly lower education level. I happened to know my hubby and his friends when I was in my first job after I graduated from the University. I then realised that my hubby and his friends although very lower educated, they are very humble and nice guys that respect the girls even better than my circle of friends who are graduate. For me, beside the earning power and love, I also think that communication, respect and understanding are very important factors in a marriage. Cheers =))
@spamind (72)
• China
6 Jul 09
Hi, thhoon72, I think that the education level is not the problem. Most of my friends are prepareing to get married. The top question their parents wondered is that how much money the boy earned each month and what is his job.It seems that edcation background is on the list but not the key one. The basic requirement for the Mr Right is honest and conscientious,in my opinion. Wish your family is happy everyday.
@thhoon72 (1010)
• Singapore
6 Jul 09
Hi spamind =) Many parents equate education level to the boy's capability to earn a living. My mum is also one of them. Luckily, my hubby is a very specialsed skilled worker who is earning more than a degree holder and he is also humble and down to earth. So, finally my mum approved to our relationship and marriage. Thanks for your well wishes. Have a great day ahead o
@deejean06 (1953)
• United States
2 Jul 09
Hi thhoon...Your last sentence tells it all - there should be no other reason for any couple to get married but the one you stated. I wish you all the happiness in the world together!
@thhoon72 (1010)
• Singapore
3 Jul 09
Hello deejean06, thanks for your well wishes. I am indeed very happy that I make the right decision to persist on together with my hubby. Have a great day ahead =))
@Philbo (579)
• Canada
28 Jun 09
I hold a degree and my wife dropped out of high school. Not a problem for us. Part of the problem is that people assume that you are different intelligence levels. I don't believe that is true. I could not be happy with someone I consider stupid. My wife and I are a match. We communicate very well in all the areas where it really matters. She is better in some areas than I am and I am better in others. We work as a team. It's been working well for over 18 years.
@thhoon72 (1010)
• Singapore
28 Jun 09
Hi Philbo, thanks for the reply. I totally agreed with you that communication is indeed very important in a relationship. As long as your partner is able to communicate well with each other, respect each other and of cos not to forget love each other, then the relationship will work. For us, we have been staying happily for about 12 years. Happy myLotting =))
@geniustiger (1698)
• Philippines
28 Jun 09
It is alright for me , the importance is you have the love for each other. No matter who he is as long as he live good and humane to everyone and know how to care of me. Then its alright for me . The thing that makes me happy is he loves me whoever I am too.
@thhoon72 (1010)
• Singapore
28 Jun 09
Hihi geniustiger =)) Yes, the character and the attitude towards life is more important for a person as compared to education level. My hubby is a very humble and down to earth person who works very hard for me and my daughters. He is also a very family man who helps me in most of my houseworks. I am so lucky to have him as my life partner. Have a good day ahead!!! Cheers o
@paying (123)
• Singapore
28 Jun 09
If the man has higher education mostly no issue. But if the woman has higher education or position, she need to control her ego and remember the role as a wife. You can be a pHd, CFO of company but at home you are a mother & a wife. You cannot treat your hubby as a subordinate or your staff and refrain a conversation related to your job or education/academic that make your hubby look stupid. BTW, I let my wife to pursue higher education than me.
@thhoon72 (1010)
• Singapore
28 Jun 09
Hi paying =)) Thanks for responding to my topic. Yes, I agree that if it is the man who has the higher education, there will have lesser issue but not completely no issue. I can see that you love your wife very much and let her pursue further education. My hubby also did encourage me to take up MBA, but I am very contended with what I already have. I want to focus on my family now. Happy myLotting o
@saundyl (9690)
• Canada
28 Jun 09
I dont think that eduction is a big factor of a marriage. Similar values and beleifs are... but the education level isnt atleast not to me. I think people need some sort of education however i dont have an issue with someone who has dropped out of highschool and gotten a job...career even that provided on the job training (my dad for example...my boyfriend for another example) however i will say i would never date someone who is perfectly capable of working or getting education but is too lazy to bother (my sister's ex boyfriend for example...he would start a job stay a week say it was "too hard" or too boring" and quit...he lasted 2 weeks at university then sponged off my sister and his parents for the next 6 months...that would make me mad) But if theres a legitimate reason for not working...not trying then it wouldnt drive me near as nuts.
@thhoon72 (1010)
• Singapore
28 Jun 09
Hello saundyl, How are you? Not working due to laziness is definitely not acceptable for me, luckily it is your sister's ex-bf. I am attracted to my hubby partly because he is a humble and down-to-earth man who really work very hard as he knows that he is less educated. Thus, he is very persistent to be the best in his work and I am very proud of him. I wish you have a happy relationship with you bf. Cheers =))
• Singapore
24 Jun 09
I don't think it matters much. A lower education in my husband was not important when I decided to marry him. I am a degree holder while he is a diploma holder. He is one of those underachievers. When he was in high school, he was from the top school in the country, but he did not do well and went to an average junior college. he did not manage to get to the university and was very sore about it. It was not an issue with me, but it was an issue with him. He felt "small"... He is going to take a degree on a part-time basis soon and I hope this will change his perspective abt our educational levels. When things are rosy in the marriage, these thgs would not be brought up. But when some thgs do not go well, educational levels become a cause of argument between us. And I never belittle him or anythg like that. He is the one who will bring it up... Sigh! It's great to hear that you are happily married and your hubby has the right priorities in place. CHeers!
@thhoon72 (1010)
• Singapore
25 Jun 09
Hi SydneyHazelton, it is sad to hear that your hubby is feeling a little bit insecure with the education difference. Guess it is the man's ego thingy. (Sorry guys, no offense here.) I think my hubby makes up his low education level with his love and care for me, my daughters and my parents. Hope everything will work out fine with you and your hubby =))