To drink or not to drink....

@mommyboo (13198)
United States
July 1, 2009 5:05pm CST
I started another discussion about this subject but I guess I have to rephrase it to get more replies. I really want to know how people feel about this. If you entertain or invite someone to your home or out somewhere where you might drink and they don't drink or are a 'recovering alcoholic', do you NOT drink? Do you feel GUILTY? Do you HIDE it? Since I started the other discussion, I don't think it hurts to ask again. To clarify, I'm not talking about rubbing alcohol in the face of someone who is struggling. I'm talking about someone who has either just chosen not to drink at ALL or someone who has been a non-drinker for whatever reason for a WHILE. Whatever the case may be, this isn't like waving a candy bar in front of a kid who's likely to rip it out of your hand and run. We're talking dignified ADULTS here. Do you expect them to be responsible for themselves?
6 people like this
7 responses
@SomeCowgirl (32266)
• United States
2 Jul 09
I don't drink. That being said, If I did, it wouldn't matter to me how long a person had not drunk or whatever reason they don't drink, I wouldn't drink. It's not polite to drink in front of others, whether they are able to resist the urge to drink themselves or not. I guess that's just my opinion though. To clarify, My response is for any amount of time the person has not been drinking.
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
5 Jul 09
So in your way of thinking, we are ultimately responsible for what OTHER people CHOOSE to do? Why does that smack of something wrong to me?
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32266)
• United States
5 Jul 09
No, I don't think so. We are not responsible for what other choose to do, I feel that being respectful and not drinking in front of someone, well it doesn't mean that we are responsible for others action.
• United States
2 Jul 09
I do not drink often, I was raised in a family that drinks too much. But to not drink is my choice. If I decide to drink then it is my choice. If I invite someone to my house and we are planning on drinking not only do I expect the drinkers to do so responsibly but I also do not expect everyone to drink. I am not going to hide the adult beverages from another adult because what they do is up to them. I agree completely this is not like waving a candy bar, people make their own choices and if a recovering drinker is not comfortable around it yet then it is their responsibility to say thanks for the invite but I am just not ready for the real world yet.
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
5 Jul 09
Thanks for saying this, I think this deserves BR. I haven't noted anything BR in a long time lol. This especially hits home: I am not going to hide the adult beverages from another adult because what they do is up to them. When somebody hides stuff, what are they saying? That ultimately their actions influence others THAT much? That the other person is a child and cannot be trusted? Either way, either way of thinking is flawed and in my opinion rude lol.
@Nir360 (139)
• Israel
2 Jul 09
What's the problem? if someone really doesn't drink or doesn't want to drink then he will not drink no matter what happens. if this person will drink it means he wants to or it could mean that hes not really against drinking
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
5 Jul 09
Yep, I think it comes down to personal responsibility yet again. You do what you feel like doing, other people will do the same. I am not responsible for what another adult chooses, and they are not responsible for what *I* choose. If someone tries to blame ME for a bad decision THEY made, then they need to check that attitude at the door or leave my house immediately. I don't ask or MAKE anybody do anything, ultimately whatever you do is up to you. If you let me influence your decision somehow and you're unhappy about it later, then why would you give me that power in the first place? LOL! However, I do listen and if I hear you saying you want to do something, I'll try to encourage you to do whatever it is you really WANT to do, in hopes that the encouragement will help you toward whatever goal you're seeking.
@shibham (17022)
• India
2 Jul 09
hi friend. everyday evening i take a little alchohol to get rid of from the stresses of whole day. i am drinking this way from 5 years. so whatever the situation besides me i find out some moments for me. i never take drink with a second person. i like to spend that time with discussing myself. i don't like anyone's interference at that time. lol.
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
5 Jul 09
LOL! I don't drink alone, I am only a social drinker, meaning I will have something at a gathering or social function, with other people present. For the most part, I only have one or a few because I usually drove myself or other people, or it's at my home and I'm the hostess. Either way, it's usually moderation for me, I don't go nuts and I expect other people not to either. I have had too many incidents of drunk friends in the past that I had to figure out how to get home while they were passed out. After dragging a 6'3 male friend up the stairs to his apartment after driving him there, I don't want to do anything like that again - I'm seriously about half his size. I don't stop people and I don't fight with them either, but I have taken keys before and kept an eye to make sure nobody falls off a balcony or drowns in the pool... I'm not a cop and I'm not these people's parent and they are adults, not children so I refuse to be one of those jerks that thinks they can push everybody around.
@fwidman (11515)
• United States
1 Jul 09
I think it would depend on how well I knew the non drinking person. If I knew that it wouldn't bother them at all, then I would drink. If I thought that it would drive them crazy, I'd have coffee or a soda. If I wasn't that familiar with the person, I would ask them if it would bother them if I drank.
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
4 Jul 09
I'd ask if it would bother them too if I wasn't sure, but if it's my house or my event, I'm not going to not do it just because someone else in attendance feels differently. If I were at their home and they didn't drink and didn't want anybody there to drink, of COURSE i would comply, or decline their invitation lol.
1 person likes this
• United States
1 Jul 09
This is my opinion on it mommyboo. I myself feel if someone around me is not a drinker anymore and wants to give it up than it would be wrong on my part to drink in front of them. The reason I say this is because it is like throwing it in thier face and saying well I could give a crap about you as a person. I know that might sound creul to feel that way and maybe I am wrong but that is how I feel about it myself. I would for sure feel guilty too I mean like I said think about it from your end if you wanted to become a non drinker. I spoke my peace let me know what you think.
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
4 Jul 09
Something happened to my response but the gist of what I put is that I expect people to be personally responsible for THEMSELVES. If you accept an invitation to MY HOME, then you realize it is not your home. I won't not do something to cater to someone else, and if they accept joining it, they know this. I don't smoke but I would never expect a smoking friend to not smoke at THEIR home, even if I was there. It's their house. In my opinion, the friendship is worth more than having a problem with someone smoking or drinking in their own home when you are a guest.
• United States
2 Jul 09
I guess it would depend on the person and how much sobriety they have in and is it for a reason such as alcohalism or do they just not drink I do not drink for me I do not like it but do not care if others do I just leave if I feel uncomfortable at all one can not control the actions of others we have to take responsibility for our own actions although a true friend may ask but do not make a big deal of it