what should i do ?

Indonesia
July 1, 2009 9:05pm CST
i have a problem how to face a girl that act like child, since she is child of my parents friend and we have meet about 1 years ago. I already tell her that i love her, and want to make a serious relationship and soon will getting marry. But my problem is, she act like a child not like adult people who falling in love and want to make a family. Both of our parents is already agree. Can you suggest me what should i do, to make her understand and act like adult people, i'm ready to get marry :(
14 responses
• China
2 Jul 09
I think you should make sure if she love you, maybe she just don't want to grow up, and don't want to face so many adult problems, If she love you, I think she should understand you, you can talk to her seriously, and tell her what you are thinking about.
• Indonesia
2 Jul 09
I do, i give her all of my attention and i fullfill what she need :) Yeah sometimes when we sit together, i trying to talk about marriage, having own house *i already have* living together and so on. i think that things i can do best for right now :)
2 Jul 09
But what about Romance?
• China
3 Jul 09
Yes, romance is very important for girl, I think every girl love romance, maybe you can try this, good luck for you, hope your dream comes true.
@Hucheng (163)
• China
2 Jul 09
First of all,your attitute about love will scare your potential lover away.You bkow before a girl marry you,she should know you clearly about your every detail.Second,Why do you wanna marry?Enjoy your single life.
• Indonesia
2 Jul 09
I want to get a real life, having own family and child also *thats my parents wish too* and until now this is my 3rd true love and i don't want to loose her because i love her so much. Both of our parents give permission, the only problem is her *duh* and i'm 30 years old i think it enough to enjoy my single life *lol*
2 Jul 09
You say "3rd" did you treat the other two the same way? If you did you have the answer but if you are treating this girl different then maybe you have a chance. She is not just for a baby making machine though
• Indonesia
3 Jul 09
my 1st and 2nd they are already grow up and thinks the future, but we didn't make it because we are in long distance and this time we are so close, even our parents is so close. Her father like me much xD, may be i must more patient to wait her and tell her about our future.
@Jill22 (265)
• Philippines
2 Jul 09
You should give her the time to grow up. Being mature takes time. If you really love her then you are willing to wait. have patience. And if you're really love her, you should accept her for what she is and what she is not.
• Indonesia
3 Jul 09
Oh now, i'm 30 years old and i think i'm outdated to get marry and i don't want hear my son call me 'grandpa' :( *duh*
@Jill22 (265)
• Philippines
4 Jul 09
Well, the decision is still yours!
@busky5 (3166)
• Thailand
2 Jul 09
I think the differental age are a part of differental behavior, so you should really talk to her sincerely about loving for her, you must brave to smooth talk to her that " We will change to join together. I think, although you may married with same age, but everybody in treat different environments are hard to stay together by smoothly. Depend on you and her will adjust yourselves to join together. Wish good luck to you.
• Indonesia
2 Jul 09
Yeah, i think i would do that. Talk to her smoothly and may be discuss about marriage and the future :) nice advice, i like it. Thank you busky5
@busky5 (3166)
• Thailand
2 Jul 09
Your welcome.
@lingli_78 (12844)
• Australia
2 Jul 09
ehmmm... this is a tough situation... have you actually sit down with her and ask her what she wants??? may be you are ready to get married but she is not... i am a woman and i don't like to be push to get married... so if you can sit down with her and ask her what she wants, may be you can get the answer from her why she is behaving so childishly... if it is because she is not ready yet to get married, then you just have to be patient and wait for her... good luck... take care and have a nice day...
• Indonesia
3 Jul 09
hi lingli, thank you for your suggestion and yes i need that "luck" :)
• United States
2 Jul 09
Tell her that, ask her if shes ready for a serious relationship, if shes not, i hate to say but you should move on
• Indonesia
3 Jul 09
I already do that, and she never told me that she love me but i know that she love me from her moms *lol* she is very shy girl, what i can say now she is childish and very shy. My moms like her so much, both of our parents are agree the only problem is only her *duh*
• Romania
2 Jul 09
Talk to her!It's better to open to her than discuss this problem with us! If that doesn't work punish her for a month! :))
• Indonesia
3 Jul 09
*lol* that will be hurt her, and i'm mr nice guy and i can't do that *for punish her* lol :D
@clutterbug (1051)
• United States
2 Jul 09
Try to be very patient with your emotions right now, she might not be ready. Can you possibly wait another year or two before marriage? It may be better to wait to see if she can be mature enough for such a commitment.
• Indonesia
2 Jul 09
i'm 30 years old now and she is 23-24 years. I think we both are ready to get married *lol* yeah may be you're right but i don't want loose the time and i don't want my son call me grandpa *duh*
@kerriannc (4280)
• Jamaica
2 Jul 09
What do you mean by she act like a child. Some persons has childlike behaviour but when it comes to the matter of the heart and doing business they are very serious minded. I believe that you need to set her down and see if she wants to indeed marry you. What you and the set of parents want don't necessary be what she wants and so she is doing things to turn you off. My advice is to see if she indeed want to marry you.
• Indonesia
2 Jul 09
i mean acting like a child (childish), she never thinking when she having child, and how to be a good mother or something like that. Right now she still playing around with her friends and mostly spend time with her lappies. I want her like adult women, think about the future having children and so on. :(
@Capsicum (1444)
• United States
3 Jul 09
She will grow out of it.Alot of girls put on a sweet innocent voice to entice boys/men. Once she realizes that no one else is speaking this way anymore she will also grow out of it. No worries you will marry a women not a child.
• Australia
2 Jul 09
hey, firstly if she;s acting like a child may be because she sees u as somebody who;s elder than her and not in a lover way and she doesnt find the lover in u. If she doesnt take the relationship serious then i dont think she is ready for marriage, cos being a girl myself, i know that when u realise u find the right person to spend the rest of ur life with, u want that rest of the life to start as soon as possible, so u just have to give her time, and marriage is not something that u can force someone, so just be there for her if u love her, and try and get her into a good understanding relationship first. all the best.
@subha12 (18453)
• India
2 Jul 09
It is going to be one sided. it is difficult to change her attitude. May be she is by nature like this. there are also some people who like this childish behavior.Talk clearly about the matter before marrying.
@Ritchelle (3797)
• Philippines
2 Jul 09
you can never change anyone. only they can change themselves. and this goes out for you too. if you cannot change the way you take this slight turn off of her forget getting married. no offense. peace . p.s. she wouldn't deserve the fights that would ensue because of this. and to tell you the truth, whatever she'd do once she gets married would be wrong in your eyes. she'd never get to be treated as your equal.
@JamieRose (168)
• Philippines
2 Jul 09
Hi logaritse :) I'm no expert when it comes to marriage because I am not yet married. Although what I can tell you about it is that, it is a serious thing. And you cannot force anyone to marry you. If that girl loves you and wants to get married with you, I believe she will let you know. If you don't feel that she does, then you cannot force her. Talk to her parents and tell them what you feel. And most importantly, talk to her straight and tell her what's bothering you :)