Low self esteem just getting lower!
By lilybug
@lilybug (21107)
United States
July 10, 2009 11:38am CST
My 9 year old son has never had really high self esteem. He is a beautiful and smart child, but he has never really made friends easily. In fact I don't know that he has ever had a really good friend. Sometimes I think he just tries too hard to get other kids to like him. This causes a little "depression" if you will with him. He really only looks forward to spending time with one other child and after yesterdays hurtful encounter now he does not even have that. I really don't know what to do or say to him to try to make him feel any better. Seeing him near tears and upset about things really chokes me up as well.
I don't really know what I want here. I guess maybe some ideas on how to keep him from getting depressed. He is only 9 years old and I really do not want to see him going down that path ever, but especially at such a young age.
2 people like this
6 responses
@positiveminded1977 (7072)
• India
10 Jul 09
I don't really know what to say; but I really feel that the problem here is low self-esteem. Your little boy is unable to get people to like him because he cannot like himself. Isn't there any way to make him feel good about himself? What caused this problem of self-esteem in the first place? I think you must design some activities that will make the little boy feel more comfortable and happy with himself. Teach him to love himself. Teach him also to enjoy his own company. He will soon have tons of friends.
Cheers and happy Mylotting
1 person likes this
@lilybug (21107)
• United States
11 Jul 09
I think part of it is really that his has never had a really good male role model in his life. His father even though given every opportunity in the world, he has never bother to even show interest for more than a few days at a time. His grandfather is pretty much the worse influence possible therefore they do not spend time together. My brothers are mostly not an influence on him at all. One brother tries, but he has his own family to worry about. In short I guess not feeling wanted by them. I try, but I can't take the place of the other parent.
1 person likes this
@positiveminded1977 (7072)
• India
11 Jul 09
Oh my! I can really empathize with you. It was the same with my brother; and he had absolutely no male role model. His father was hopeless; so was the grandfather. There were no older male siblings. And the older male cousins would tease him instead of help him out. As a result, he is a nut case now and nothing can help him.
I don't want the same to happen to my boy. He is only six months old now; but I am planning to put him in active social life as soon as possible. His father is not around. Of course, my brother is of no use to him. Unfortunately, to get him in social life, I need one myself; and I have grown up an introvert. That means I have to work a lot on changing myself and cultivate the friendship of some good people. I really don't know how I will manage; but I am determined that the old story should not be repeated in the case of my son.
1 person likes this
@tuckersheri (1327)
• United States
11 Jul 09
I really feel for your boy and I have gone through some tough times as a young child to. I had problems with making my friends and keeping them. Some kids can be so mean and cruel. I think it might be a good idea and maybe open the possiblities of friends. For instance have a small party or sleep over and invite some of the kids so that he can interact. Then make up a few games for the children to play and have a few prizes. It will be fun for all the children and may make them relize they can have fun with him and want to comeover and play more. Which would raise his self esteem and world of friends. Maybe go to the park where other children like to play or go to the pool. There are tons of ways for him to interact with children. These are just some ideas for you.
1 person likes this
@maximax8 (31053)
• United Kingdom
15 Jul 09
I am a primary school teacher. I am a parent of three children. My youngest nephew is 9 years old. He is shy and is an elective mute. His confidence has grown a little over the last few years. His talking has increased with this.
I feel sorry for your son. He is young to be getting depressed. Some people are cruel in way they say. Your son is sensitive and he needs a soft caring sort of friend. Perhaps you could speak to his teacher. He or she could perhaps let him become friends with a suitable child. The friendly child might be of a different age to your son.
Self esteem can grow with praise and nice encounters with other children. I think that you could take your son out for some lovely days out. Then he might be happier. When you have a child over to play that is well behaved and kind your son might feel pleased.
Good luck.
@gitfiddleplayer (10362)
• United States
11 Jul 09
Well that stinks. Is he involved in any extra curricular programs like church or sports? I know that my kids have to make new friends every time we move somewhere new but they are pretty outgoing and soon we are helping them select the best friends since they are so magnetic. I guess you could take him to the park to play and maybe to a popular place like McDonalds or Chick-Fil-A (if you have one) basically anyplace that has a play area or where kids can work out their jiggles.
1 person likes this
@Youreyes4Today (2356)
• United States
13 Jul 09
I can understand the self esteem being low and needs to be rebuilt. First his own self worth needs to be built. Maybe it is time to give him some projects to do on his, own. As he accomplishes each one, find his major interests work those in more and more, with some that are not so interesting to build an all around knowledge of other things. Make sure there is plenty of compliments of accomplishment.
To become a bit more sociable, that will take more time in some cases. Take walks to parks, see what the churches offer for summer activities,get him involved. Just idea's I used with my own
@jb78000 (15139)
•
11 Jul 09
i really want to help out here. i had the same problem when i was 10 because of some deaths in my family - i suffered from depression for years because of it and the only thing that helped was distracting myself with studying. perhaps your son has hobbies that could help
1 person likes this
