Give me one finger, and i will take all your hand!!
July 11, 2009 11:16am CST
True words, i am right? I have a friend, who some time ago, ask me to help she with shes girl, with home work. And because i am a nice, good person, who all time like to help if i can, i say yes. And shes doughter, 15 years old, who have exams, come to me to help she, 2 times in one week to literature and french language. All was ok, until my friend, ask me again if i can help to history too, because she must learn for exams too. Ok, i know history, and i say yes again. Of course that is this time girl come not 2 times in one week, she come 4 times, and she forgot to leave, of course that i invite she to take meal with me. And when she say that she will come from school straight to me, because is hard for she to go home and than come back...what do you think that i answer? YES,of course. 3 weeks ago, shes mother ask me to go with shes doughter to exams, because she is very busy because want to go to a beauty saloon, and don t have time to go with shes girl to school Again, what do you think that i answer? This time i answer a big NOOOOOOO; WAS ENAUGHT EVEN FOR ME, WHO ARE A NICE PERSON, AND I WERE SO ANGRY, AND I CLOSE THE PHONE. Now, both, mother and doughter, don t talk with me, of course, ane even i know that the girl pass all exams, none call me to say..thnk you because you help she. So, for this , i say this words' GIVE ME A FINGER, AND I WILL TAKE ALL YOUR HAND!!! YOU WAS IN SITUATIONS LIKE THIS?When you try to help or to give something and somebody else was sure that you are stupid? I was, and i hope that i was for last time...was a good lesson for me!!!
4 people like this
11 Jul 09
In my book, that's one friend too many. You can be kind to people and offer charity, but she was definitely taking advantage of your kindness. OK, if the "friend" had to juggle 3 jobs to feed her family or was very ill, then fine... But, to tell you her vanity is more important than her daughter's education??? She's one friend too many...
1 person likes this
• Kiryat Ata, Israel
21 Jan 13
I had neighbors with a boy who one day showed me his English homework and asked for some help. I gladly helped him and in some minutes, I finished. I started to help him with his homework for fun and he liked it, so did his parents and they offered me money. Once in a while, I got a small payment, but, my parents didn't like it. They told me I had to take more and I started to hate the whole situation. The boy sometimes took my help for granted and called me whenever he wanted and I didn't like it. I started to charge a little higher. I have a neighbor who is very nice and helps me and other neighbors with their garden. Sometimes, he helps me and my dad to fix things and it is fun. The problem is that my father doesn't offer him money. This is a problem everyone has to think with himself : "How much money do I need to take for what I do ? How often do I feel happy to help for free ? " , Sometimes we like helping for free and sometimes we feel we don't like it. We need to help ourselves too so, if they can't help themselves, at least pay us some money for what we do.
• United States
12 Jul 09
Yes I had a situation just a month or so ago... I was in a tough situation, and I needed a new place to stay so this lady allow me to move in.. I was so grateful.. she told me that all I had to do was pay the water and sewer bill, and pay for my own food.. I was only there for a month and well the two bills together did not even rack up to a hundred dollars... But I had a little wind fall of money so I helped out more... towards the end of the month I ended up paying over 500 dollars in bills alone.. and she was still complaining that I was not giving her enough money... Considering I did 90 percent of the house work.. on top of the money... I felt so used.. but to this day she feels I used her.. whatever it does not matter now.. I am grateful that she let me in, I did what I could but it was not enough for her.. I have had one too many lessons like that.. I am the type of person that would give up my coat just so someone else would be able to stay warm.. or skip meals just to make sure other people have enough to eat. but that was from a different time and place.. any how.. I look at it this way; I was just doing what was needed at the time, everything happens for a reason in life.. Yes it hurts when you feel used.. but at the same time you did make someone's life a little brighter for a little bit.. That's why I still continue giving... Just not as much as I use too, there is a balance that I am still learning.. when giving becomes too much, giving everything up for someone else that does not care.. if that sounds wrong or self-fish so be it.. No you were not stupid.. you just have a warm heart, some people like to take advantage of that.. In the end, not trying to be rude, but who's lost it is really? Yours or their's? I would have to say their's because of the fact you will not be there for them anymore.. you helped her daughter with the exams, what happens if she needs that help again? You will not be there.. Keep your head up, it hurts the heart but keep being you... just more guarded I guess.. but that is life
• United Arab Emirates
11 Jul 09
This is a very true saying. People do end up treating you like a doormat if you become leniant to them. I suggest you hold your stand and avoid further assistance in similar matters to ppl who you doubt are upto no good! This happened to me in college but I always retaliated by showing them that I was not going to take any sort of nonsense from anybody and till date I have friends who respect me and are worth my respect too. We don't take each other for granted and that is how it should be.
• United States
11 Jul 09
Hi, Ice! It feels so bad when things like this happen. A friend of mine is fond of saying that no good deed ever goes unpunished! When we make arrangements to do just about anything, we have to make guidelines by which to handle the task. Otherwise, people who should be grateful just walk all over us, and they don't even realize they're doing it. Boundaries must be set when favors are given, unfortunately, because too many people find it easy to take advantage!
11 Jul 09
This is a greedy sign, if you let people just touch you, after they want more and more. In this life all have some limits, and people tend to ask more and more. Maybe is better for you, next time to think twice before to accept help somebody in this way
11 Jul 09
people tend to be greedy at times. but am very thankful i haven't met anyone like that yet. yes even at my age. i guess i am in the good company of friends. but i would be watchful with regards to new acquaintances. thank you for this discussion. ann