don't make promise if you can't keep

@cindyhxf (1447)
China
July 13, 2009 9:50am CST
yes,someone wants to make promise but they don't think they have to keep.they just do.promise won't keep in their mind and i don't really know why they like to make promise but don't want to keep.do you know a person who always break promise in life?will you trust them again for other things? for me,if a person make a promise but forget soon later.it is hard to trust her/him again.share with me your idea here.dear lotters.
2 people like this
11 responses
@ds6413 (2072)
• United States
13 Jul 09
Hello cindyhxf, I always try my best to live up to what I have said I would do. I know some who say one thing and then turn around and do another thing. That just makes me a little angry. I prefer knowing the truth. My b/f and I don't live together since we had to move but we try to meet online once a day. It used to be two times a day but he sometimees fell asleep and didn't show up so now I told him if he is tired I would prefer to only meet up one time just for two hours while he is doing his broadcast. I don't like to feel angry so I am doing that for my own well being and for his.I have to admit I screamed at him more than once for not showing up. He "promised" to show up but after a few times when he didn't I told him I couldn't do that anymore because I don't like to feel stressed out because of HIM. I told him to stay on for a few minutes longer after he finished his broadcast and so I could tell him the things I need to say. That way I could go to bed not stressed out and mad. I know he works a full shift during the day and then he goes to his room and does a live music broadcast for 2 hours and only has a couple of hours before he has to go to sleep so he can wake and go to work again. On his days off he comes to where I live and spends a couple days with me.I had to find a solution so we didn't end up breaking up and that was my solution. I remind him to "say what you mean and mean what you say" so I wouldn't have to be mean when I had a chance to say something back to him.
1 person likes this
@cindyhxf (1447)
• China
14 Jul 09
it seems trust is very important for two people who don't live together.promise works weakly somethimes.just like i heard someone said to me before"beliven in what you see",if so,something you can't see you don't believe?love him trust him .but he should try to make you good not mad if he really care of you.
1 person likes this
@ds6413 (2072)
• United States
14 Jul 09
I know I am not a very trusting person. I used to but that was until I married a cheater.I actually told my b/f I don't trust hardly anyone. The only exception of course is my parents, they never once let me down. The fear is if I completely open up I don't want to be let down once again. It hurt too much when my ex-husband let me down. I know my b/f can be trusted but I can't let myself be hurt like I was when my marriage broke up.I'm really glad my b/f has patience with me. My solution handling the situation we are in is to do it my way. I know he works a full 8 hour day 5 days a week and he still has to do 2 more hours of work when he gets to his room. I would rather spend time with him online while he is brosdcasting then to keep him awake when he still has to wake at 7 am and not get to sleep at 11 pm or later and mainly it was later. That way he might be able to get 8 hours of sleep instead of only 5 or 6 hours like he was getting when he and I met online at 10 pm
1 person likes this
@cindyhxf (1447)
• China
17 Jul 09
Hi dear friend.thank you for telling me your things.i had bad marriage before.and i know a lot women who betray by husband.anyway,man is a man ,he is other person in the world,his heart is not yours.his mind too.no one can make sure wont' get hurt again when they start to love a person.i met a man online before.but at the end we were over because i didn't trust him again.what he said so sweet and make me trust.but what he did so fake.i don't easily trust a man(love relationship) again.it needs time and know of more each other.trust build up need time.not several days.best wishes to you and be good.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (41806)
• Delhi, India
13 Jul 09
Hi Cindy! I do not make false promises. If I make a promise, I try my best to keep it. I try to adopt realistic and practical approach in my life. If I know that I'll not able to fulfill any promise, I refrain from making it. Like-wise, I also expect from others that they should not keep me in dark by making false promises, they should tell the truth, if they cannot perform certain tasks for me. Good Post!
1 person likes this
@cindyhxf (1447)
• China
14 Jul 09
you are great ,deepak.yes,if people made a promise to others,they should try best to do it. no excuse or nearly forget or ignored it.you really have good mind for this case.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (41806)
• Delhi, India
14 Jul 09
Cindy! Thanks for the compliments.
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Jul 09
Hi Cindyhxf, I think that the worst time to make a promise to a person is when you are very excited or elated, even if someone means what they are saying at the moment, once they move away from that emotion, if the person does not do what they said they would do, shortly after that, it becomes more difficult for that person to follow-throuhg. I tend not to promise anyone anything in "a spur of the moment" situation, eventhough I might want to because you just don't know how hard it will become for you to do what you said you would. If I want to do something for a person that expects some kind of result or action, I would just surprise them with what they want, instead of actually promising them that I would do whatever it is they are hoping for. I hope this makes sense.
@cindyhxf (1447)
• China
17 Jul 09
oh you have fit way to surprise them but didn't make promise so easily.yes,it is good i think.but someone always make promise easily,it is a habit fot them.they want to get trust first before doing something.
1 person likes this
• India
14 Jul 09
Well you are write in a way there but there are also some people who make promises and CAN'T keep them. Its so beacause there might be some constraints in completing the promise. So its fine when you say that one shouldn't make promises when he plans to break them but I'd like to add that one should always consider the person and his excuse for not keeping the promise. As for your question, yes I will trust the person again if he breaks my promise but his reason should be a good one. happy mylotting friend...
1 person likes this
@cindyhxf (1447)
• China
17 Jul 09
Hi friend,thank you for your wise comment.yes,you have other case about promise who make promise but can't keep them if his reason should be a good one.
1 person likes this
@myx_03 (540)
• Philippines
14 Jul 09
I agree with the sayings that don't make a promise if you will not keep it.. Better to shut up your mouth before you hurt someone with your unreliable promise. I'm a type of man who keep my promise and I don't want to people who made promise only with their mouth and not with the heart.
1 person likes this
@cindyhxf (1447)
• China
14 Jul 09
yes ,no one want to hurt from liar.liar is bad .it always make people lost trust to others.
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (27880)
• Malaysia
13 Jul 09
A promise is a commitment that you must fulfill. Giving out promises but aren't fulfilling it is considered untruthful and lying. I don't make a promise if I can't fulfill. And neither do I like others to make a promise to me but never adhere to it.
1 person likes this
@cindyhxf (1447)
• China
14 Jul 09
Hi thank you for your point.sometimes.promise have to make on a conversation.but depend on how serious they think it is.
1 person likes this
• India
13 Jul 09
yes the person who breaks the promise is not a person whom we can trust. but thing is we have seen one side ot the story that some one has broken the promise. i suggest before making decision we should know the whole story for breaking the promise. here question may arise if the peroson lie that for some specific unavoidable reason he has broken the promise!!! again i suggest promise is a faith. if we trust promise is broken then we must trust the purpose of breaking if same is a false statement also. make the person realise to the reason for breaking the promise 1st.
1 person likes this
@cindyhxf (1447)
• China
14 Jul 09
promise is a faith!you are right.
1 person likes this
@eLsMarie (4135)
• Philippines
13 Jul 09
i know one... he's my former boyfriend... he's always making promises and later break it... i don't know with him... :(
1 person likes this
@cindyhxf (1447)
• China
14 Jul 09
Hi friend,your former was the no promise one.but he liked to make promise.so bad.
1 person likes this
@skysuccess (8884)
• Singapore
17 Jul 09
cindyhxf, George Chapman once said: “Promise is most given when the least is said”, so never promise a poor person, and never owe a rich one. Take care and have a good day.
@cindyhxf (1447)
• China
18 Jul 09
Hi skysuccess.thank you for comment.i like "never promise a poor person, and never owe a rich one."
1 person likes this
• Singapore
18 Jul 09
cindyhxf, You are welcome. People who knows how to keep their words are like jewels rare, so never fail to see and cherish them. Take care.
@LittleMel (14061)
• Canada
6 Aug 09
I have made promises like donating some things to people but I am in tight budget myself at the end of the month I can't donate. Also I have promised to send money home every year, which I kept until I had to quit my job. My mother in my homeland told me not to send money, but I told her I will send whenever I can because I promised my late father I would help her with money. I hope someday the economy will recover and I can start making money again. but these things depend so much on a lot of things beyond my control. I always try my best to keep my promise, unless things happen beyond my control I will keep them. In the past I have been a victim of my own promises, I kept them for certain people and suffered for it. I never made promises for them anymore. I used to be angry if someone breaks promise to me, but lately I have learned to get even instead of being angry. I will break my promise to them or I will ignore them let karma works. Karma always finds its way to me and to everyone anyway, it always does. I usually give people one more chance but if they blow it, I will block them from my phone/ email etc and I will notify anyone I know if necessary.
@cindyhxf (1447)
• China
9 Aug 09
yes,i agree with you.make promise which you can keep beyone your contrl.before making promise ,people should consider more if they can keep or not. if it is not easy to keep.then don't have to make promise and let others trust you first then do nothing later.why people wanted to get trust first ?if they really want to do something just do and don't promise so fast.action is better than fake promise i think.
• India
18 Jul 09
yeah, ur right , when u r not capable of keeping the promise then dont give any promises to them. The trust gets lost and relationship, value and even my more reduces and fairly will lose him or her in very early days of ur life. So its better promise on those which is possible. Even what i do in generally is, i promise on most of the things even i dont know things. As i will find out the way from my others friends to accomplish that promise/
@cindyhxf (1447)
• China
9 Aug 09
thank you for your comment.be good