Are you in good terms with your in-laws ?

@HelScream (2828)
Philippines
July 18, 2009 12:40am CST
I am not yet married but planed to get into a marriage life one of this years to come come up with this discussion to know how you personally manage to be in good terms with your in-laws like the mother or father of your behalf... any experience and shared input would be dearly appreciated ... thanks in advance ....
4 people like this
9 responses
@candy2306 (577)
• India
18 Jul 09
Hi, nice to know that you are getting prepared, very good! However, I didn't have much sweet times with my in-laws. She was nice at first than turned into a devil later on. Like I was not allowed to do many things since we lived together. My sincere suggestion is NOT to live with your in-laws. Visit them frequently and NEVER stay together. An outsider is always an outsider. Not only you face difficulties, even your spouse will too!
1 person likes this
@HelScream (2828)
• Philippines
18 Jul 09
Well I am not planning to live with them in the future I was just wondering how they accepted you as to be there son in-law... well I guess marriage thing is very difficult as it seems, its like being married with the whole family
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (98195)
• United States
18 Jul 09
We made a point of being close enough to visit, but fare enough away to be appreciated.
@GardenGerty (98195)
• United States
18 Jul 09
My in laws, at least the parents, are deceased. The advice I would give, though, is to always respect them. You love their child, and they are who raised that person to be your spouse. Respect them for that, even if you disagree sometimes. I would also say, do not ask too many favors, try not to borrow money, and live a little distance away, so they can respect you as adults, too.
@HelScream (2828)
• Philippines
18 Jul 09
Noted GG that for sure I would do so. If I want there respect then respect I should give... but the thing about living away from them is that my gf cant live far away from them .... I tried to convince her that we are building our family but I wont have a problem with that if that is her decision I love her to much that such thing wont affect what ever decisions will be in the future.... thanks.
@ANTIQUELADY (36489)
• United States
18 Jul 09
I don't have any in-laws now but when i did i got along just fine w/ both sets i had. Of course i now have 2 daughter-in-laws & we have no problem either. There is no reason not to get along w/them. if they are making my sons happy , i'm happy. I have my opinions at times on things but i keep them to myself " so far", lol.
@HelScream (2828)
• Philippines
28 Jul 09
I wish you could be my inlaw lol so by then I wont have any problems adjusting. lol well still got to know the better though
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36489)
• United States
28 Jul 09
tHAT'S A VERY sweet thing to say, thank u.
@youless (91099)
• Guangzhou, China
28 Jul 09
I am glad that I have a good relationship with my in-law parents. I think it's very important to respect them like my own parents. After all, they brought up my husband. If I love my husband, I should also love his parents. They treat me well, too. They are very nice people. I love China
@HelScream (2828)
• Philippines
31 Jul 09
Yes its like marrying the whole family well anyways thats cool that you have a good relationship with your in laws coz a lot of married couples dont have that kind of good relationship with their in-laws.
@commanderxo (1496)
• Canada
23 Jul 09
Trust THE PARENT'S good judgment when it comes to them talking about their experiences...ESPECIALLY when it comes to their child (the one you'll be marrying); and above all...be confident within yourself. A smile never hurts either. cdrxo
@HelScream (2828)
• Philippines
31 Jul 09
yes i guess a simple smile would do the trick i have to remind myself that I too. hope you have a great weekend my friend enjoy ....
• Philippines
19 Jul 09
Hi Helscream, I'm too not married yet but we have a kid of our own. I really don't have that closeness with his parents but I have a huge respect with them. Though I feel more at ease with his dad than to his mom, because my man is sort of a momma's boy when he's younger (teenager). It's good to hear from you that you're starting to establish your relationship your boyfriend's family. Do your best and be yourself, in that way, they'll surely understand on why their son/daughter has chosen you to be his other half. Good luck!
@HelScream (2828)
• Philippines
31 Jul 09
hmmmm my girlfriends family my friend lol well I was just thinking that for now but I still have a long way to go I guess. I do hope that my gf would help me out on this. It's not an easy task but I guess I will get over it somehow
@ds6413 (2073)
• United States
18 Jul 09
I'm not married either but when I was I was not so close with my in-laws.We were civil to each other but we never went out of our way to spend time together.I liked my mother in-laws second husband. He was so nice. He and my now ex-mother-in-law were high school sweethearts and both married others but got back together later in life.I didn't mind visiting those two but when she was married to her first husband, I didn't like to be around them.There was too much tension and it followed me and my then husband back home.
@HelScream (2828)
• Philippines
18 Jul 09
Well i guess thats rear case in which you could be ok with your in-laws still have a long time to prepare
@fchalida (196)
• Indonesia
13 Aug 09
i am a woman, so i am not close enought with my mother in-law. what ever i do, i am guilty in her eyes, so i decide to move and have my own house. after i move into my own house, my relationship with mother in-law more better now. if you want merriage, i rather you have your own house, if you not afford to buy own house, so i prefer you live in your wife house, because the woman sense is soft sense. And you must keep your future wife filling.
@piya84 (2591)
• India
13 Aug 09
Hello HelScream I am not married yet but my four friends are married and one sister too.I am watching their lives closely.I dont know from where are you but living with in laws is not goo idea at all.My on gal pals in laws dont help her in cooking and they expect her to cook for them.They are putting lot of restriction on her too.They are the one who are ahead of everyone in criticizing her and last to give complement.