Getting Married: A Lifetime Decision

@janzki (49)
Philippines
July 23, 2009 1:55pm CST
I am from a country where divorce is not allowed. we have annulment but it takes years to make it approved and the approval rate is 10%. hence i say, when you get married, you were forever tied with the person you chose to marry. chances are we'll only know a person's true color after the marriage. then the relationship gets sour, quarrels get frequent and you broke up. is there still a life ahead of you if you break up with your partner without going through annulment case?
1 person likes this
12 responses
• China
24 Jul 09
hello, can you tell me where you are from? I have never heard that thing happpen in your country.
@janzki (49)
• Philippines
26 Jul 09
hi. I'm from the Philippines. That situation is common here. Had friends and relatives who's been into it.
• United States
23 Jul 09
In our country divorce is an epidemic and it is so easy to get that people often do it instead of just working through their issues. I think that people should put a lot of thought into who they want to marry it is life not a game and it should be difficult to get a divorce for silly reasons or just because. Now I have no issue with people getting out of abusive relationships or a spouse was unfaithful or imprisoned. But we know those who do not talk things out so you get for example my brother in law who is getting married for the third time in 10 years and this time it is a repeat to the second wife again. If they had not had the option to divorce they would have just worked it out like they have done without putting their kids through the trauma. It may seem hard but I think your country is on a better path then ours.
@janzki (49)
• Philippines
23 Jul 09
now i see the pros and cons of divorce. not having it will motivate the couple to make more effort in fixing things out. not having it will tend to make people move from one partner to another.
• United States
23 Jul 09
I guess that you have to really be in love with someone and not see reasonable doubt in your relationship. In my country you can get a divorce like you can get a chocolate bar, it's really so easy. I will still put a lot of thought into it before I get married to someone though, divorces are hard to go through no matter what. Just never get married if you do not have total confidence in your relationship and future with that person. Sure there is a life after a break up, you can make life positive no matter what. Marriages are just too legal a lot of times, if you don't feel married to someone anymore then you are the same as if you were divorced, it's just not in the legal books. Maybe you can patch up a marriage, but even if you don't then life should still be enjoyed, there is more to life than that.
@janzki (49)
• Philippines
23 Jul 09
i think marriage is security. with a country where divorce does not exist, it would be unfair to the next partner you chose if you can't marry him/her because you were still married with you ex-wife. so breaking up without going through annulment won't still make you free. yes we really need to be really in-love before getting married but in most cases people get married because the girl gets pregnant. is marriage the answer of this mistake? and there is this thing called falling out of love.
@sonam14 (141)
• India
24 Jul 09
yeah it is difficult to live with a person who is not comaptible with you. Though my husband is loving and caring but i can understand your problem. My bext wishes are with you.
@Geone1 (65)
24 Jul 09
Well I'm not married myself but I certainly would agree that if you are getting married you certainly need to give it some deep before taking the plunge. As this is mean't to be a liftime commitment. Mind although there is a few break ups hopefully most of them should go the distant- Possbibly!.
@SomeCowgirl (32270)
• United States
24 Jul 09
I am a firm believer of staying together. I know that marriages can be tough. My fiance and I are going into our marriage soon. I think though that people should work together and figure out what is causing them to fight. A good way to do this is to read a book, or work on a workbook about it. I know that not all books help, but some of them ask questions that make you think, ask questions to yourself about yourself, and evaluate. I can not say whether or not I believe a person can have a life after separating from their partner.
• India
24 Jul 09
Its ofcourse a lifetime decision atleast in our country,India.Here its believed that a person once gets married should continue even if relationship is not going good for them.But yes they should make up their minds when they decide to get married to live a happy married life.have a good day
@schentil (98)
• India
24 Jul 09
Hi, I understand your feeling. Getting married is an important process in our life we all pass through. We should try our best to keep this relationship strong and long lasting, because this process decides how your future life will be. Through marriage, we have our offsprings. We have the responsibility of bring them up as a successful grownups. So these are all possible only with one's married life. I suggest that If a couple has disputes between them or a thought of getting divorced, they consult with a marriage counselor in order to get things right. We should not make a decision to get divorced, because we will not have any faithful, loving mate to take care of us in the later stage of life.
@HeidiD (167)
• China
24 Jul 09
In my opinion, love is of the same meaning with marriage. Considering carefully is important before marriage. Though divorce is difficult in your country, I don't think your should be scared by marriage. Just have a little faith. If he is the Mr.Right in your life, don't miss him. Believe AMor will bring happiness to your marriage.
@check23 (448)
• Philippines
24 Jul 09
Yes there is but before marriage the woman or man should really think twice or thrice or as many as they could if they have to just to make sure of their decision because like what you said marriage is a lifetime decision. And if they have to, they must try to live together without marriage for a couple of months for them to know each other better. Marriage is a very hard decision to make. It is not a decision that is thought in seconds. They should do what they have to do to come up with the right decision unless it will be a decision that they will regret for the rest of their lives.
24 Jul 09
Divorce is so much easier n my country but, I married for life anyway and I lived with my fiance before we married and we had been together for about 5 years so we knew each other really well to know that we still wanted to marry. x
• Philippines
24 Jul 09
We both come from the same country, and here yes divorce is not allowed. But even though I am into a "no to divorce" society, I personally go for divorce if marriage for me is turning into hell. Yes, we all want a happy, harmonious and lasting marriage, but along the way, there are a lot of factors that might affect our marriage. We fight against them, but there are just some things beyond our control, and would turn some marriages into hell. I would rather choose a divorce, than to let my kids witness all the fightings between me and my partner. I am not advocating divorce. But I am not against it, provided the reason is sufficient enough to justify the divorce, after a series of counselings and if all efforts to save the marriage do not work out. Thank you. Happy mylotting!