Family and Environment: Primary Factors that influence us.
@grecychunny26 (9483)
Philippines
July 26, 2009 9:38pm CST
If you grow in an environment with loving parents and good neighborhood, good values will remain intact to you. If you grow in a broken family and bad neighborhood, you may absorb what values you get from it. Family and Environment are the primary factors that influence us.
Maybe not all people are like this, but we can't escape the fact. Do you know when we do a mistake and our own parents will say "You can never do anything right" it affects us. We tend to believe we can't do anything right. We begin to think that we are failure. If you lived around people with anger, unhappy or frightened , it greatly influenced you. Beliefs like these creates a frustrating like. It makes a lot of difference on the positive side.
This is true most of the time. We also treat ourselves the way our parents treated us. When some of the parents scolded their children, when we made a mistake on our own, do you observed, you are scolding yourself sometimes. We scold and punish ourselves in the same way.
However, we cannot blame our parents that like this. Maybe in their life before they are also like this. Maybe they did not experience the love in with their parents too. When they scolded us, they might be scolded by their parents before. They usually adopted what life have been before and apply it to their children at present. We are all victims of victims.
To change the pattern, if we choose our child to have a loving environment, we must change now, while we are not having a family of our own. If we are living in hatred, we must act now to change it and filled ourselves with love. Don't let our future children to be the other victims.
2 people like this
7 responses
@pangbo217 (42)
• China
27 Jul 09
Hi, grecychunny, you are right. Family and environment are indeed primary factors that influence us. Children grow up with broken family cannot get enough love from, which will leave a shadow in their memory, and they gonna encounter more hardships and difficulty in their future life.
@grecychunny26 (9483)
• Philippines
28 Jul 09
Yes, but some of them is a fighter, they don't want their child to experience what they had experience which makes them a better parent in the future. I have known some of them. Thanks for your response. Godbless!
@nanayangel (7879)
• Philippines
27 Jul 09
Hi there!You're right. There is more chances that a person will be a happy and fulfilled one when he or she is in a good environment suitable for development. It was always an issue between "nature" and "nurture" and psychologists then and today are still finding more proofs about which one affects the person's development the most. I am more inclined to nurture like your example even though there are some characteristics that we are just born with and also in our genes.
@grecychunny26 (9483)
• Philippines
27 Jul 09
No matter how it is, you can still change your environment ,the choice is yours! thanks for the response!
@grecychunny26 (9483)
• Philippines
28 Jul 09
is that you and your baby in the future! you must be a very loving parent, thanks for putting your pic!
@nanayangel (7879)
• Philippines
30 Jul 09
Yeah, but most of the time, even our way of thinking, our morality and values is greatly affected by the environment where we grew up in. And that's my younger sister and her son, my nephew in the picture. ?
@salam1 (1474)
• Malaysia
27 Jul 09
i could not agree more with you. my religion says that when a person is born, he/she is as clean as white shirt, then the parents are whom the white shirt is painted by.
in my view, if parent have positive outlook on life and treat a child likewise then the child will end up become a good person, something like that.
parent also responsible for the environment where the child is brought up. the house is the most important one, if the house is proper and well managed, the child will be affected positively by it. so does the neighberhood, the state, and the country, parent have to choose the right environment.
it is not easy but that is what actually the parent is responsible for. i as a parent feel that this is the challenge for me..
tq, great post!
@grecychunny26 (9483)
• Philippines
28 Jul 09
Oh we have different beliefs, it is still our choice and even our parents decision what they think would be best for their child. Thanks for your wonderful response Salam1!
@MysticTomatoes (1053)
• United States
27 Jul 09
I have to disagree. There can be influences on children outside of their family and living conditions that cause them to either go astray or go straight. I'm a juvenile intake officer and I arrest kids all day long. I've seen kids from some of the best brought up families be in trouble for murder and theft and I've seen kids from the slums of the city grow up to leave the area and become successful people in society. It's as much the child's choice as it is external factors that determine whether a child grows up to be a thug or grows up to be a productive member of society.
The best thing any parent can be for their child is a parent. Don't be your child's friend. Don't say yes all the time just to shut them up. Enforce boundaries and stick to them. If no means no, then make it mean no all the time. If you say no, stick to it. All kids say they hate their parents at one point in time in their life and they never mean it.
@grecychunny26 (9483)
• Philippines
28 Jul 09
thanks adding substance to my post. Be responsible parent that is the thing we must do!
@svk_hereiam (26)
• India
27 Jul 09
I absolutely agree with your views. When a child is born, he has some traits in him, some features and characteristics hidden in him which in course of time shall manifest when he starts to interact with his society. These tratts are are the traits of his genes. A very important factor in itself but this is not the only factor which influences what kind of a person he becomes when he grows up. Upbringing in his family and the kind of society/environment he grows up also have a prominent impact upon his personality. How his parents are, how his friends are equally important if not more. The persons who have the most impact upon the child are his parents. Hence it is more of their responsibilty than it is of anyone else to make their child a good human being.
@grecychunny26 (9483)
• Philippines
28 Jul 09
It is a parent's responsibility to take care of their child until they reach their legal age isn't it? They can have a decision when that day comes...thanks for adding some information to my discussion. Godbless!
@Sweeten (159)
• United States
27 Jul 09
I agree, and I see this all to often. It seems like if the parents do something bad like persay smoking the child will think it is ok to smoke too and they will often end up a smoker. It is like a monkey see monkey do effect, and most people don't even realise they are doing this to their children.
@grecychunny26 (9483)
• Philippines
28 Jul 09
Yes some parent didn't realize the effect on this to their child. Their child idolize them in a wrong way.I hope parents will be aware. Thanks for adding some information to my discussion!
@yanzalong (18982)
• Indonesia
27 Jul 09
Very clear explanation. Yes, we have to change the bad habit that's been deeply rooted in our way. Many of us do not realise this and carry on that way as if the pattern is impossible to change.
