Having an adopted child in the family.......?

India
July 31, 2009 3:12am CST
How would your reaction be if you come to know that one of your sister or brother whom you have been thinking is your biological sibling is not one. Would you start hating her/him or would you be as affectionate as you were before?
2 people like this
17 responses
@jlamela (4909)
• Philippines
31 Jul 09
It's okay for me, because being siblings are not necessarily you are biological. The most important thing is that you have respect and love for each other, it doesn't matter if you are not blood relative.
• India
31 Jul 09
Yes, I agree with you siblings are someone who are very close to us so no matter whether adopted or biological we shower the same love and respect towards each other. Thanks for your response.
• Philippines
31 Jul 09
If you will ask that question to me, I would say, there's no reason for me to get mad with that person. Thinking that he/she is not my biological sister/brother, I will continue what relationship or treatment that I showed to him from the time which I know he/she is my real sis/brod. Hating? for what? If you will analyze the situation, We are thankful that we have this person who comes to our family which is a gift from God.
• India
31 Jul 09
A lovely response, yes after all children are gift of god why hate them? Thanks a lot and happy my lotting.
@lealuvy2j (1998)
• Philippines
31 Jul 09
At first, I would be really surprised but after that I don't think I would treat him/her differently because we already bonded and connected as siblings all our life. In conclusion, we already built a friendship and it is still friendship that will keep me from treating that person differently. I call my friends my brothers and sisters from another mother so I think It wouldn't really matter since I treat my friends like that, what more if it is someone who I thought was my real sibling.
• India
31 Jul 09
Thanks for your response. I appreciate your positive approach and I very well accept too. Yes a sibling is sometimes more than a friend with whom we share a lot of our feelings. Have a good day.
@iskayz (5424)
• Philippines
31 Jul 09
Well surely I will be shocked if I found out that a member of the family is adopted. But I don't think my feelings or the way I treat the adopted child be different from how I have treated him/her when I thought she/he was my biological sibling. I have known him/her as a sibling and so it will remain that way. But questions will do come to my mind. I will start asking my parents why, where and how it happened. Just to make issues clear for me and I believe everyone in the family would want to get answers from them. Ciao!
• India
31 Jul 09
Of course, one will be shocked to hear about it, as you say there may be a number of questions springing up in our minds and it may take sometime to over come this. Thanks for your response, good day to you.
• India
31 Jul 09
What difference does it make if my sister/brother is adopted or biological. They are my siblings and will remain forever whom I will love and care. But it should be the duty of the parents to enlighten both the adopted child and the sibling about the truth rather than making them shocked when they hear it from an outsider.
• India
31 Jul 09
Yes what you say is true. Siblings are forever ours and parents should speak about it to avoid any kind of problems later.
@Jaxsky (196)
31 Jul 09
Hello, I think that if I always considered them my sibling then they always would be:) I am close to both of my brother's and even if I found that one of them wasn't biologically my brother I'd still treat them as such:) We have had too many good times together!! Good question though!
• India
31 Jul 09
A very good response indeed. Yes once your mind has accepted him/her as your sibling then why a feeling of hatracy. Thanks for my lotting
• Portugal
5 Jul 10
i would treat him the same way. bcs the truth is nothing really changed just we are not brothers according to science but according to heart we are so sure i would be sweet and caring like always^^ i dont agree with those people that hate their brothers bcs of it. wasnt their fault at all so we must just treat them well. they already will suffer to know they were adopted we dont need to be mean to them to make things worse. we must make them feel they are welcome to our family and that nothing will change^^
@suspenseful (40326)
• Canada
5 Jul 10
It would not make a difference and I would feel (since in a lot of cases, the parents adopt because they cannot have their own child, or they cannot have as many children as they like) that my parents were such wonderful people that they did not want me to be alone. I would not dream of hating him or her. Why should I unless I am a meanie.
@clouds0327 (1390)
• Philippines
30 Jun 10
My husband has an adopted sister. She was adopted at birth. They all love her so much, and sometimes I think already too much that they are spoiling her. The kid has an attitude for such a young age. Their family thinks that they should treat her extra special because she is, they are defensive when people are telling them she has an attitude, they are always saying she is just not used to them or always have reasons that obviously is just protecting her. I have no problem with that, but the kid is getting worse and getting more arrogant because she is being spoiled. She snobs other kids who are in fact the blood relatives of her foster family. She doesnt treat her nannies right and she yells at her older brother and sister. Her mother which happens to be my MIL doesnt bother and always defends her attitude... She always tell everyone excuses which obviously an example of tolerating the child. They will hate you if you tell them about their adopted child's attitude, they will accuse you of other things.. Well, I dont care at all, just as long as that brat stays away from my own and don't put her down because she thinks she is sooooo special, i dont care about my MIL I have told them before but they dont believe it and keeps on defending her and tolerating her... Anyways, she is going to be the one to suffer in the long run for spoiling her.
@anna728 (1499)
• United States
4 Aug 09
I don't think it would change anything. I mean, if you've already grown up with this person your whole life you already have a relationship, whether you are biologically related or not. You have still shared so many experiences and you are still family. And since when is being genetically related a prerequisite for caring about someone- what are friends and boyfriends/girlfriends then? Being close with any person has to do with your personalities and what you've shared together, it doesn't matter if you share DNA.
@daliaj (5689)
• India
3 Aug 09
I don't hate them knowing that they are adopted. I will still love them as my brother or sister. Recently, I came to know that my husband's sister is adopted. I don't care it. I love her as my sister in law. My husband wants to adopt a baby. We are thinking about it. It is great if we can give a good family atmosphere to an orphan, but we have to think a lot of before going for it.
@phayeth (519)
• Philippines
1 Aug 09
well, for my part.. i have a adopted younger sister, and i really love her.. i will never hate her beco'z his not my biological sibling, i've definitely love her equally as i love my other siblings .. and i'm so thankful that God given her to my family.
@simonelee (2721)
• China
1 Aug 09
naaah... I don't mind if i found out he/she is adopted. It doesn't affect nor change my treatment toward him/her, I still be affectionate as i were before as long as he/she will stay as nice and respectful to us especially towards our parents, I'll be fine with that.
@adapots (82)
• Philippines
31 Jul 09
I think the love and affection is the some coz you love him/her before as a brother and sister. but the different is you are not relatives in blood. If you born and see him/her as a brother and sister i think the love and affection is the same and if he/she want to find his/her immediate family then you can help. It's very depressing if you are a person on that kind of situation and you need someone to talk too someone that comfort you of what you feel.. What we can we can do is try to understand them...
@fchalida (196)
• Indonesia
31 Jul 09
no, i never be hate my brother/sister, if i have adopted brother/sister.because before i now that fact, i knew what kind of my brother/sister so i will love my brother/sister what ever he/she is. cause in fact, i have adopted cousin, so i fill that adopted cousin attitudes is more better than my really cousin. He always care to my family, not arrogant to us.
@tutor19us (455)
• India
31 Jul 09
No I wont. If I have adopted the child I would love it with all my heart.
@divkris (1163)
• India
31 Jul 09
I'm sure I won't. Because the bond we have been having for many years will not break only because my bro/sis is not biological. Do you break friendship for t his reason - i dont think so. However, it can completely depend on how you treat your siblings too :)