resilence, is it really good to always bend with bad luck no matter what?

@Hatley (164484)
Garden Grove, California
August 2, 2009 12:19am CST
I have been through some really bad times in the past nine months but am a survivor. i am in an assisted living retirement center as we were evicted, my son cou ldnt find a job and we ran ou t of money. the lady who was going to sponser us at the latest minute after having even signed a paper saying she would pay the rent for three months to allow us to get on our feet, she reneged. so we were homeless. my son is now in transitional housing, he and three other guys share a two bedroom apartment . I was put here so I would not be out on the street at 82. my guestion is it really good to always just bend with all that is handed to you,in spite of crying inside aNd feeling angry and why meing? I suppose you must bend as a tree in the wind or you will break into a zillion pieces, like just losing ones mind and faculties. I guess we can all weep privately but what good does do?
1 person likes this
7 responses
@roniroxas (10576)
• Philippines
2 Aug 09
i miss you my friend i am happy to see you here again. as you know i left my husband 9 years ago and tagged our four children along with me. life is never easy for me when i have to ba a father and mother at the same time. there is a saying in our country that if the blanket is short learn to fit your body inside so you wont get cold. so if the blanket is short learn to adjust with it. i work hard to get my children to school and give food on the table. yes we can cry inside just to release the load in our chest then carry on. i will light a candle for you and your son hatley, lets both pray for the best. welcome again and i am happy to see you
2 people like this
@Hatley (164484)
• Garden Grove, California
21 Aug 09
roniroxas hi yes we both have to have courage and you'have had itI am glad you are okay with your four children. People who stay together for the sakeof the children are usually first class fools.think the 'kids dont know something is wrong between parents?Of course they'do And they usually Act out.you were smart to get out when you cou ld. I can imagine its not easy at all.but we bend and we dont break'as to break causes you great harm. your kids need you and you are doing your'very best so thats great.we will win yet both of us.
@jerzgirl (8030)
• Gloucester City, New Jersey
2 Aug 09
It's OK to mourn any kind of loss, Hatley. Sometimes that loss is a family member, as mine was in December. Sometimes that loss is a beloved pet, as happened recently to a myLot member. But, there is the loss of home, of trust, of security - so many different kinds of loss and each one us responds in a different way. But, it's also OK to be a survivor and bend even as we are mourning our losses. If we didn't, those losses would break us like so many trees in the wind (which happened just this week all around my area from storms). We can creak and moan and groan, but if we don't bend, we'll snap. Not good. Your situation is stressful and painful (how do you trust again?), yet you were able to come through it with places to go, even if they weren't your first choice. Who knows - this may be a new beginning in ways you weren't anticipating. Sometimes what comes our way is more beneficial than we would have thought possible - like it was waiting for us to come upon it. I hope your son has better luck with jobs than I've had - maybe he can find a temp agency whose focus is technology. That could be his foot in the door for a new job.
@Hatley (164484)
• Garden Grove, California
21 Aug 09
hijerz girl I am learning from p eople much worse off thaN I am to be glad for what I have,to be' patient and kind, to pay attention to what others'have to say, to ape this one man who is kindness personified' and is so patient with those that would drive me' bananas.He overlooks their disabilities aNd focusses' on the person and everyone here seems to like him. Jess is like an angel come to earth for sure. so maybe'I was sent here to learn something about myself. and when'some' day soon I can move awway I will be a better person.
@AmbiePam (50160)
• United States
2 Aug 09
The ups and downs never stop, do they. One's spirit either breaks or thrives. I'd like to think my own spirit has thrived, and indeed, yours has not wavered either. You have been through so much, and I am happy that you have come out on the other side, despite tremendous disappointment. I hope your son is happy where he is, and that things only get better for him.
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@Hatley (164484)
• Garden Grove, California
22 Aug 09
hi ambie oh yes we must bend so we dont break.I have come through it and am still full of hope' I pray that one day soon my son will get a job'and we can be together again.towards that end I keep'myself' busy here mylotting and writing and being reasonably happy.
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@AmbiePam (50160)
• United States
25 Aug 09
You're doing great Hatley.
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@Hatley (164484)
• Garden Grove, California
25 Aug 09
thanks ambie pam I just had to make myself know that' I must be happy now because ultimately now is all we' really have,yesterday is done and tomorow is yet to come so today we can decide to be sad or happy. so'happy takes the prize. Abraham lincoln said a man is about as' happy as he decides to be. true.
@MsTickle (24993)
• Australia
4 Aug 09
I guess if you have no control over your life you have to expect anything can happen...that includes the good and the bad. You need to bend as you say or you break. As we get older the hold we have on our control of life is tenuous and that is when we start to need other people to care for us and help us...some of us more than others. I own my own home as I want to be independent for as long as possible. It's not in a part of the world I want to be but it was affordable and could be much much worse. I have no doubt my children will take care of me when I am unable. I'm so glad you managed to get to where you are and you are not living on the street...best of all you have the use of a computer...YAY!
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@Hatley (164484)
• Garden Grove, California
22 Aug 09
hi mstickle its not that I needed help in the way of older people who are really handicapped. no I kept house,did my'own cooking and cleaning, no we were just out of anyplace to'stay and out of any real money. I could again live in an apartment with'my son as I do not need assistance.here I am spoiled rotten,my'medications are given to me,my meals are given to me' even my clothes are washed for me, all things that until now I'was accustomed to do for myself. I may be 82 but I have all my faculties thank goodness. and oh my computer this is so good' I am back on the internet and mylot.goody goody gumdrop.he he
@scgyzdj (18)
• China
3 Aug 09
which country ? oh , you can search help from your relative or friend.
@Hatley (164484)
• Garden Grove, California
22 Aug 09
hi scgyzdj I am here in the United States and I have had what little help our friends could give as they'are' not well to do and could not help financially.we will'be okay. we both are in housing and my son is still looking'for work which eventually he will find.
@Excelsus (16)
• United States
2 Aug 09
Hatley, you're a very strong person to continue fighting against the problems that turn up around every corner in life. I've felt the same, I've had my share of homelessness, and sometimes it got to a breaking point to where I thought I would lose my life, I just couldn't put myself to give up. I've worked hard, been to Technical school, and managed to get my certification overtime, i'm in college still struggling, but I think for every hardship we face, it comes with it's own reward. It may not always be materialistic, and it may not be the reward we were hoping for, or something less than we expect, but I like to count them as blessings in a way. I feel better after being able to do good things sometimes.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164484)
• Garden Grove, California
22 Aug 09
hi excelsus yes I have to be strong and you'sound strong also. fighting against homeless ness and other'things does strengthen us. college can only help you and'in the long run you will be glad you went. we will get rewards,'tis just a matter of time so keep smiling.
@GardenGerty (102616)
• United States
2 Aug 09
If you are resilient, it does not mean that you cannot cry. You just dry the tears and see what you can do when the storm is past. You then will be ready for the next page. What are the prospects for your son? Is the assisted living facility okay? Are you comfortable, and taken care of?
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@Hatley (164484)
• Garden Grove, California
22 Aug 09
hi GardenGerty as facilties go this one is not bad and I like all the care givers,like anyone else if'you treat them the way you want to be treated everyone'includidng yourself is happy. Ihave seen some residents treat them like third class slaves,comehere,do this,do that no please and no thank you. thats not right. Ihated to be treated like that as a nurses aid and I am sure the care givers must feel the same way. I am comfortable and am treated like a queen really.