What do you feel if your sister/brother more successful than you?

Indonesia
August 3, 2009 8:24am CST
I've seen this things several times in my real life. My auntie and uncle don't really like my parents because they are more successful than them. When I was child, my uncle report my mom to the police only because small problem that actually can be resolved by talk together. My mom was send to jail and of course she can out from it after 1 day only,,she was not guilty! Since that day, my uncle and mom never talk again. My big family often face problem related to jealousy because one of family member more success than other. We help each other but what can we do if in reality there's financial difference between us? I know we have our own family after married, but it's so sad, happy family and all togetherness between siblings in childhood time can come to an end in the future because of financial issue. But honestly, I feel little jealous too to my brother if he is more than me.. He is more active than me and favorite student and all the things! I know I must feel happy but it's quiet hard for me. Let's be honest! What do you feel if your sister/brother more successful in financial and life than you? Jealous? or happy, so they can help you?
2 people like this
16 responses
@daliaj (5689)
• India
5 Aug 09
I will be very happy to know about that. I always want my brother and sister to be very successful and want them to achieve whatever I couldn't achieve or whatevr I missed in life. I will give them all support from my end to be very successful in life. That is what I am doing right now. I will never be jealous for sure.
1 person likes this
• Indonesia
5 Aug 09
You're right and you're so kind daliaj^^,, Seems like some family members of mine need to know and behave like you.. Thanks for your response
1 person likes this
@Citychic (4078)
• United States
4 Aug 09
what do you feel if siblings are more successful than you? I would feel happy for them. I'm sorry that you do not feel happy for yours and i would suggest that if you want to be more successuful then you should look for ways to be successful but getting jealous over your sibliings is just a waste of time. It sounds like you need to grow up. Everyone has a chance in this life to choose to be successful or not! Happy mylot..... Live and love!
• Indonesia
5 Aug 09
I know that and I will try to change it.. Seems like I need to grow up. And I kow normal people will feel happy about that. Thanks for your wise suggestion and response
1 person likes this
• China
6 Aug 09
I think I will have stress but I will be happy.
• Indonesia
7 Aug 09
You're right, sometimes its' just stressful,uhm, maybe not stress but a little jealousy, maybe? but yes, deep in our heart I believe actually we feel happy for them. Thanks for your response
• China
8 Aug 09
Also if they are better than yourself,they will be happy to help you,we could get a better life together.DO u think so?
• Indonesia
9 Aug 09
Exactly! That's the positive thing,,they can help us and we can help them too! We can help each other if we're success
@lovedude (4459)
• India
6 Aug 09
Well.. I have also noticed that my Uncle feel jealous when I got better spouse than his son.. They are showing smile on their face but by heart they are not at all happy with us.. and if I talk about me and my brother.. till now no comparisons and jealously between us.. :-) in fact my brother got happy when I got better job than him.. and I am happy that he earns more than me :-)
• Indonesia
6 Aug 09
Yes, that's the thing that I don't like too when people smile but have different meaning in his/her heart.. That's good! No comparison and jealousy, seems like you and your brother have a good relationship. Keep up that relationship and GBU
@lovedude (4459)
• India
7 Aug 09
:-) yeah we have good relationship.. I hope it will be there forever..
• Indonesia
7 Aug 09
Of course we all hope good relationship can be last forever but of course , there will be some problem appear in our life and I hope when that difficult times come, your relationship with your brother will stay strong
@balasri (26577)
• India
12 Aug 09
I will be very happy to see them more successful than me because if they are not that successful I just cannot keep quiet but by helping them.As their success reduce that burden of supporting them I always like them to be successful.
• Indonesia
12 Aug 09
I see.. you are a mature and nice people. That's right, if we think about it, we must feel happy, because they are our own sister/brother and if they're in the need of help, we can't just stay calm..of course there will be "something" that make us wanna help them.. Thanks for sharing,,have a great day
@balasri (26577)
• India
12 Aug 09
Thanks for calling me a mature person.Isn't it better to be surrounded by self suffiecient and rich people?
@jaiho2009 (36773)
• Philippines
5 Aug 09
Hello Chrysan, I can understand what you were feeling dear.This is a problem when jealousy is there,like having competition. I am an eldest of 4 siblings,i always look at my uounger siblings in a fair manner.I don't want us to be in any problem especially when it comes to financial matters.We always work things together,we helped each other.I want us to have a good relationship with each other and we want this closeness to passed in our kids/next generation. I can say that,in terms of money,we are almost of the same level with my siblings,but with education,i can say we are not of same level.But it doesn't matter to us,actually we are supporting each other well.Our youngest sister thu she is married now and have kids,she prefer to take some units and masteral,and we supported her.My brother next to me is having a small business and i supported him with raising his capital. I had my own business and i gave half of my profit to my siblings. We don't look at each other with competition,but with love and respect,that matters most.
• Indonesia
5 Aug 09
Thanks jaihoo.. I'm happy, at least there's someone who understand me.. It's so nice hear that you have maintain a good relationship with all your siblings.. And you are all supporting each other! That's quiet hard to find nowadays.. You really have a happy family with your siblings and I hope you have happy family too with your children and husband
3 Sep 09
i have the same problem hun. Can someone just answer this question please. im 21 years old saving like hell for a morgage, however my younger brother whos 18 dont have a job but hes buying cups, pans, etc i feel like its a race to move out. Why do you think this is? please white back thank you jody.
@bunnybon7 (25179)
• Holiday, Florida
16 Sep 09
i think id feel a little jealous but a lot happy for him i never grew up with any siblings but met a half brother of mine after i was grown. he was doing very well. owned a farm, had several children that were happy and they had plenty of anything they wanted. i was a little jealous, but very happy for him and proud. but if he had done what they did to your mom i would never speak to him again i just think thats a terrible think to do to your own blood
• Indonesia
26 Sep 09
Hi bunnybon7 Sorry for late comment Same with me.. It's a mix feeling between happy, proud and jealous,hahaha.. Nice to hear a about your half brother. Sure you can be success like him too, maybe more! Hope all the best for you and GBU
@eLsMarie (4135)
• Philippines
19 Aug 09
to be honest, i would be very happy if one of my family member would succeed especially when i offered them some help. the issue about your family is quite alarming knowing that it this wouldn't be settle at this point in time, you together with your cousins would do what your parents are experiencing... sounds awful
• Indonesia
20 Aug 09
Hi eLsMarie You're right, it would be nice if we can offered help to our family.. Oh no, eventhough my mom and my uncle don't have good relationship, I hope me and my brother will never experience something like that. We try to understand each other now.. I agree with you, now it's still difficult to settle all the problems between my mom and uncle, but hope this will end soon.. Hope you have great relationship with all your family
• Philippines
7 Aug 09
i feel jelous also or insecure but as a sister i understand the situation...
• Indonesia
7 Aug 09
Yes..sometimes there's jealous feelings, but we must understand an be happy about it! At least, we can see our siblings success, not as a poor man or fail.. Thanks for your honest response
@busky5 (3166)
• Thailand
6 Aug 09
I will feel happy when my sister or brother richer than me.Some days if i don't have money.I will borrow from them.I wish them richer.
• Indonesia
6 Aug 09
Yes,, you can ask for their help if they are success.. You're kind and clever too,,hehehe.. Thanks for your response
• India
5 Aug 09
I am always and would be proud from the bottom of my heart if any of my siblings do well.Its all about how you perceive things and how much you love your own family.
• Indonesia
5 Aug 09
You're a kind man.. You're right, it depends on how we love our family and perceive things.. Thanks for your response
@sarojInc (570)
• India
5 Aug 09
Hi Chrysan ,The point that you have raised is nice and nust be put under dissection.What I feel personally is that If Me and my brother are in the same business of field and then he is more successful .its not the time to be jealous or to be disheartened.but it is a time to for the thing you have overlooked as ok but its not. But if the case is of physical features and qualities like beauty and complexion-then I'm really jealous.I know its not right but I cant help it.
• Indonesia
5 Aug 09
Thank you for your opinion about my topic Yes, if in the same business you can help each other. But if it about physical features, beauty or something like that.. I feel little jealous too.. I like your frank and honest answer sarojInc.. I know too it's wrong but it can't be helped,, Maybe we need to learn and grow up more.. Thanks for your response
• Philippines
5 Aug 09
I'll be very happy for him..That's a great thing not only to him but to the whole family as well. Well, I only have one brother. we're only two in the family. I'm the one who is given and payed attention too most of the time. I always make my parents proud of me by doing great in school while my brother is the opposite. He is not that good in school. I would say he is a slow learner. Most of the time, people compare us. I feel sad when people do that. I hate what they're doing. They're not suppose to compare us. I understand my brother and I know how he feels every time he hears the comparison made by people around us, sometimes other family members compare us too. So sad... I love my brother and I'll do everything to take defense of him. One time my brother told me that he wished he's smart and witty as me and I cried hearing that. I know he's so hurt with all the things he's hearing from people. I know my brother is happy for all my achievements and so do I for him. I'm happy having a brother like him even if most of the time, he's hurt because of the comparisons people made.
• Indonesia
5 Aug 09
I think comparing child or other family member is not right.. It only make hurt one's feeling. I have started discussion about comparing children and many myloters here didn't like it too. Oh, it must be difficult for you..sometimes being the "good side" and be compared with a "bad side" is not good and sometimes it can make us feel guilty to those "bad side" You're a good sister. I hope you and your brother will maintain a good relationship no matter what other's say.. Thanks for your response
• Philippines
4 Aug 09
I do sometimes feel insecurity with my siblings but that's very little feeling because I love them so much. It's the love that really dominates rather than the jealousy. I did never feel that they are the favorites even if i'm not excelling when I'm still studying.
• Indonesia
5 Aug 09
You're right, love can win over jealousy! I have one friend who feel jealous to his sister because she is more excellent in school and all teacher compare him to his sister.. I know he still love his sister.. Do you think it's possible for love and jealousy live toghether in one's heart? Thanks for your response
@ibuemma (2954)
• United States
3 Aug 09
I would be very happy for him/her. Simple as that. I rather see them more success than see them least success or fail. And beside, family should stick together LOL...
• Indonesia
3 Aug 09
I like your simple answer and thought.. yes, no need to make things confusing,, And I agree with you! Better see them reach success than see them fail. Hope your family always stick together. Thanks for your response
@kryzell (921)
• Philippines
3 Aug 09
I used to be the more successful one between me and my sister. However, ever since I stopped my job to become a full time mom, I obviously no longer earn as much as my sister. I then realized a lot of things, especially on how I am with my lifestyle in the past, and how my character have been. Now, I have learned to appreciate my sister's success, just as she did with me in the past. I especially am thankful... because unlike me, my sister is great in a lot of things. So that, I strongly believe that she deserves whatever success she'll accomplish now or in the future.
• Indonesia
3 Aug 09
I guess you and your sister have a good relationship then, since two of you can respect each other.. Waw, I appreciate you for choose to be a full time mom than your successful job! Hope you can be a great mom and maintain a good relationship with your sister Thanks for your response..