fall in love all over again?

United States
August 3, 2009 9:49pm CST
Is it possible to fall in love with someone over again? I love my husband. He is the world to me, but I dont feel as strongly as i used to about him. A lot of that comes from the lack of trust i have in him now. He has cheated a few times. It has been about 6 months ag o the last time, but I still question a lot and i know that i have to get over this if i want this relationship to work. But i feel like in order for closure to happen, I feel like he needs to be honest and admit his wrong doings. Yet he says he is innocent and leaves it at that. He will not willingly be open about it and help me trust him again. I want this to work, but my question is...Will i ever really love him the same again? Will i be able to forgive and forget and fall back in love with him...
10 responses
@jaiho2009 (39001)
• Philippines
4 Aug 09
Hello friend, Yes,you can fall in love with him again,actully,you still love him till now.The only hindrance is,you feel he is not admitting his wrong doings,which is a normal feling since you know he had cheated you. You can set a date with him,or even cooked special dinner at home,sit and talk with an open heart.You can ask him to be more honest,if he still won't talk about the matter you want him to say,i guess,you have to trust him enough. It's not admitting his mistakes that will end your questioning,your full trust will put an end into this.Trust him again as if he never cheated you before,and then,you will feel the same love again years ago. Give another chance to let love keep burning,then,rest will come. Have a good day always dear
• United States
4 Aug 09
If SHE was cheated on, she does not need to be cooking him special meals. He needs to gain HER trust, not the other way around.
@dctrkmhp (37)
• Vietnam
5 Aug 09
Forgive - Please forgive for your husband
Please don't close your heard. Today, many husband cheat their wife. When the wife understand about that they choose many ways. Some kill themself, some sue a divorce, some think it's nomal. I don't know you've ever some sons. But I think you should forgive your husband. Do not call a dog with a ip in your hand. Certainly, if he's still cheated you, you must choose other ways.
• China
5 Aug 09
I think you both should calm down and sit and talk about this. If you think he told lies, what that lies for? Are they white lies? think about that. If you still can't forgive him, tell him about what you think. You can try like this, 'You have been my world before, I loved you. But you were not honest to me and if you can't give me a reasonable and accepetable explain, I'm not sure if I will still love you.'I think he will take this seriously if he loves you. Anyway, the key point is to solve this problem which seems as a barrier between your relationship.
• United States
5 Aug 09
I agree that if he is a good man, he will do whatever it takes, in terms of counseling and admitting his wrong doings. There is an old saying: "Bite me once, shame on you, bite me twice, shame on me." I think your heart is finally awkening, and you are just now feeling the feelings you buried when you first found out he cheated. I would attempt counseling, if you think he deserves it, and if that does not pan out, there are plenty of other fish in the sea.
• United States
4 Aug 09
"Is it possible to fall in love with someone over again?" .... "He has cheated a few times. It has been about 6 months since the last time." Once that trust is broken it is really hard for you to see past that in the person you care most about. I know the feeling all to well. I haven't been married but I have come close to it. My ex that lived with me was with me for 9 months and we were talking about getting married and I would lay my life down for him no questions asked at the time. Then as time went on I found out that he was talking to 5 or 6 other girls and that his motives weren't just friendship. He even went as far as to convince me that it was the stress he was under living with me as to why he couldn't be with romantically and even sexually and we was together every other night when I lived at my apartment. Believe it or not that does have an affect on a relationship. If it didn't happen before it wouldn't have bothered me nearly as bad as when it didn't happen. So, what I'm trying to say is once that vow of trust between you is broken it is very hard to get it back to where it was before all hell broke lose when you found out about the afairs. "He says he is innocent and leaves at that." When they get that far into it they don't think they did anything wrong and I'm sorry to say but I don't think that you'll be able to really and truly love him like you did before all this happened. My parents divorced april of 08 over the same thing. My mom loved my dad but she wasn't in love with him anymore because of the things that happened over the past few years. She said she could never be able to be with him again after knowing what she knew and finding out what she found out from other people about what he was doing. I hope you can truly rekindle that love and keep it going. Love can sometimes conquer everything else but sometimes love just isn't enough. Control is what they want and when you find out about an afair they no longer have control but they still claim to be innocent because they blame you and say it was all your fault because you pushed them to it. They had a choice to make and it doesn't matter what they did if they can't admit and own up to the fact that right or wrong it hurt you and you can't trust him anymore. I don't see how it could work. But I really truly hope it does.
@EchoLin (24)
• China
4 Aug 09
My former boyfriend cheated me,and do something bad on me.His behavior cause me afraid to believe any man,and lose confidence on love.Some boy told me they love me ,BUT i have no courage to accept anyone's love .I hate cheat,afraid sufferring same injuries form other man.
• United States
4 Aug 09
Wow, a FEW times? You are very forgiving. I think I could forgive once, depending on the circumstances, and if he was honest and told me out of guilt after he did. And even after that he would have to regain my trust, and we would have to work on our relationship. If it happened a second time I wouldn't forgive him. Plus, I am a bit adventurous and we occassionally like to add a third person into our bedroom fun, so I don't see why he would want to. But your husband, wow, more than once? You really should be honest about how that makes you feel. You need some counseling, and any good man that wants to repair a relationship will go and try. If you love him in the way that you feel you're bound to him or obligated to stay with him because you're married and been together for however long, don't feel that way if you don't truly love him. Really loving someone means you trust them completely, and it doesn't sound like you completely trust your husband, nor does it sound like he even wants to apologize or work on your relationship. I feel bad for you, I hope when I get married nothing like that every happens, I would be devastated. But I'm marrying an older man and he's had his days to be going wild and sleeping with who he wants so, I am pretty confident and trusting that he is mature enough not to cheat and doesn't want to stray.
@ghail26 (12)
• Philippines
4 Aug 09
it's really hard to trust someone who hurts us. if you really want to make things work for the two of you, you both have to talk. if he doesn't admit his mistakes, tell him that he should do something to gain your trust. without trust, things will not work for the both of you... trust is the biggest part of any relationship.. goodluck and may things work for the both of you..
@HelScream (2828)
• Philippines
4 Aug 09
true love never fades my friend...love is kind it is not jealous and it forgives I know that what ever his short comings will be if you truly love him this things wont even matter... search within yourself if you really do love your man the real essence of it then you will know the answers to all your questions....good luck only you know the right time to bring back the love that was once lost ..... hope you will find it back...
@bird123 (10518)
• United States
4 Aug 09
You need to search your soul and ask. Is he the right one? I do have a friend who had a simular thing. She hung in there and things worked out great. She says no one else fits.Communication is key to any relationship. It'a always tough without it. Only you will have the right answer.