What do I do?

United States
August 3, 2009 10:32pm CST
Before i met Alok, the man I am marrying I dated a guy from back home Viktor. We only went on a few dates and he had to go home. Alok and I had been together almost a year and Viktor resurfaced calling out of the blue constantly saying he loves me, wants to be with me. I keep telling him not to call, I give the phone to Alok he tells him not to call. I am lost. I want him to just go away, I don't understand why i am dragged into this I went on four dates with someone almost two years ago. I understand maybe I am only person he knows here but still.....
6 people like this
17 responses
@jbrooks0127 (2329)
• United States
4 Aug 09
Some men cannot take no for an answer when it comes to a woman they are strongly attracted to. Somehow in their mind they truly believe that because they feel the way they do that you should too and all they need to do is keep trying. You didn't say why he left in the first place. Of course after only four dates you really didn't know each other so had no ties to each other. You may want to point out that he left you. Problem with that is he may take that to believe that you felt more for him back then than you really did. Whatever, do not give him anything to hold on to. In time, with you telling him you are getting married and to leave you alone he may give up. If you are the only one he knows there it matters little. That is not your problem. One thing to consider. You really don't know him and what he is capable of. Make sure he knows where you stand but no need to be rude about it. Just matter of fact.
2 people like this
@freerr (667)
• China
4 Aug 09
Be rough to him, tell him don't call again seriously and don't answer the call if he call you again. Let him feel that no any choice, any your compromise will bother your life.
1 person likes this
@frinces (419)
• Philippines
4 Aug 09
Just drop him. Ignore him. He already knows that you are with someone and almost getting married. If you continued on accomodating his calls, he will think that you are giving him a chance to be with him again. Just ignore him.
• United States
4 Aug 09
I usually don't answer, just every once in awhile to say stop calling.
• Vietnam
4 Aug 09
I gree with princes. Just drop him, ignore him. You must really appraise
@Citychic (4078)
• United States
4 Aug 09
What do I do? Hello bluehibicus, the next time he call you need to just tell him that while you appreciate him for sharing his true feelings with you and you like him as a person but you are already involved with someone else. Hopefully by telling him this he will get the drift. It sounds like he really needs to get a life. When a woman tell you that she is through that is basically what it means. Good luck with your new fellow. Happy mylot. PS: Do you mind adding me as a friend, thanx in advance
• India
4 Aug 09
This is very much confusing. I don't know what to do.........
• India
4 Aug 09
I believe that the guy is trying to be fulfilling some of his motives.When he lost interest in you he left you and now with some new motives he has resurfaced again in your life.Its not good as I say that you should not pay any attention to him..Best of lUck
• Philippines
4 Aug 09
Well you only have to choose 1, not all. So even that Viktor is saying I love you to you, then it is for you to decide. If you are not sure about marrying, then don't settle yet. But if you truly love Alok, then its Alok. Make up your mind girl.
• Philippines
4 Aug 09
if you truly love the person you are about to marry, then forget Viktor. . . Viktor is resurfacing because that's part of life's test. You are being tested how faithful you are and you will be to your future lifetime partner. if you are not yet sure of yourself, then never marry Alok. . . Give yourself time to think . . Good luck.
@syankee525 (6298)
• United States
4 Aug 09
some guys are like that, but if he's calling watch out it dont turn into stalking, and if it does go and get a protecting from him, or no contract for him.
• China
4 Aug 09
For my part,I don't believe "he love you indeed". After all,you stay with Viktor for not a long time,you almost know nothing about him. Alok is not the same as him,you had been together almost a year,you have emotional foundation. I advice that you date Viktor for the last time,tell him you status quo. You dong't pity him,ignore him,treasure your current boyfriend Alok,I hope you can get along with your current boyfriend,you'll behappy in the future.
@srganesh (6349)
• India
4 Aug 09
I don't see any problem here for you.Well,you dated Viktor and Alok knows that.Then you need not worry.Because you are going to get married with Alok,don't give much importance to Viktor.Just ignore him and focus on your future with Alok.Just Invite Victor to your marriage and he will definitely understand,where you have kept him.Cheers!
@radx682 (327)
• India
4 Aug 09
Sorry to say...You should be careful with Viktor and Alok.. Vickor because he must have come back with some motive...but he can true too but what made him take so much time?...also knowing well that you are going to marry another guy why should he trouble you..if he is so good he should realize his mistake that he is late and cannot do much about it... Alok because he by now knows that you dated someone and he is supporting you now...so you are true to him..but what if after marriage..you have a simple problem and Alok tries to pull out your past and hurt you... You know who is good and bad...Happy myloting :-)
• India
4 Aug 09
If there is no doubt in your mind regarding your marriage to Alok, I thnk you should just ignore the calls…you know, we get so many prank calls and then there are guys who actually stalk you and you go and report to the police…in this case, I don’t think anything similar can be done…ignoring him would be best and then when once you are married and he still calls up, you can of course tell him that you are no longer free or interested.
@mimpi1911 (25455)
• India
4 Aug 09
I can understand how you are feeling hibiscus. I would want you to just ignore him. It's hard I know when someone in constantly bugging you like that. You can change your phone number or block hi if the service provider does that. But if he is really keen he would find out other ways. Better, keep your calm and ignore. I am sure, Viktor will come of age soon. Good luck! I just checked your blog. Its cool.
@tutor19us (455)
• India
4 Aug 09
I think this guy is just obsessed with you. Some men are just trouble makers and may not be really that into you as you would want to think. It is best to steer clear of these men. If he calls ask him if he wants to marry you immediately. If he has any intention of being with you, ask him 100 questions about his commitment. But before that please do analyse if this is what you want to do? Do you love Viktor or Alok? Even if you have a doubt of 1% please do not marry Alok. You will just end up regretting marrying Alok for every fight you have or any chance you get. Ponder and take your time. As for speaking to Viktor, just tell him, you are busy with your wedding preps and cant talk to him now. Tell him, you will speak to him after you are married. Invite him to the wedding too! ;) That should show you his real intentions.
@submerryn (1304)
• Malaysia
4 Aug 09
You've gone through so much ups and downs with Alok. You've manage to overcome Alok's parents and all. Now, this Viktor guy resurfaced after being missing in action for a couple of years. He thinks he can just continue where he left off. You have to be firm to him. Unless.. you still have the feelings for him. If you are not firm, that is the message you are sending him, that you still have the feelings for him. Get rid of him once and for all. Change your number if you have too.. Good luck..
@ashar123 (2360)
• India
4 Aug 09
The best advise I can give you is that close your eyes and see which face comes in front of you in your imagination. Real and true love with a guy or girl can be checked in this manner. Try it and see what your heart says. Do what your heart says. Good Luck.