I have been thinking just lately ...

@jugsjugs (13045)
August 4, 2009 5:55pm CST
about people taking me for granted in this house and other people outside of my house.I have been too kind natured for far too long when it comes to doing favors for people and lending money to people as well as free advise to help sort out their problems well not no more.Tough if they have no money tough if they want a lift tough if they want my advise.There is taking and there is taking the micky.
8 responses
@carolbee (16241)
• United States
5 Aug 09
I have had the exact same problems. While I am willing to give, share, be kind and do whatever family and friends need, there comes a time I have to put on the brakes. I hate being used and it happens all the time. I do blame myself for not taking control and using the word "no." Anymore friends need desperate help financially, I am not longer available. Still trying to collect what one so called friend owes me for over 4 yrs. It's slow but am finally being paid back. Hopefully it's paid in full before I expire....lol
1 person likes this
@yelrihs (301)
• Australia
5 Aug 09
people taking me for granted is like an everyday scene in my life. i kinda get used to it. people look for me when they needed a hand with something and when i desperately needed a hand, they were gone, gone with the wind. sad.
• United States
5 Aug 09
I wholeheartedly agree that you should take back control of your life. I would however warn those people that it will effect. I would sit them down as a group of individually and explain the situation to them. I would tell each of them that you still care about them and their well being but at the moment you need to take a step back and take care of your own well being. I think that if you do this in an honest from the heart way, there will be less hurt feelings. You will probably piss someone off but this way things will be clear and will give you the strength to stick to it. Good Luck
1 person likes this
@greenline (14864)
• Canada
5 Aug 09
Hello Jugs. I can very well sense from what you are saying that you are a very kind-hearted and sincere type of a person. And, you feel hurt when people don't realize and appreciate your kind-heartedness and sincerety. Yugs, it is their fault and not your fault at all. But, I am absolutely sure, one day they will realize what you have done for them, and that they were at fault. And it will come soon. Best wishes to you !
1 person likes this
@marguicha (106246)
• Chile
4 Aug 09
It is difficult to change, I know from experience. But when you talk about "people in this house", are you speaking of your family? Are you talking about friends? Or are they just house mates? It is different. To family and friends you could tell them how you feel. Probably they never thought about it. But with people you don´t care too much about, it´s time to stop. Gently but firmly, the answer is NO!!! You don´t have time, you don´t have money, you were just thinking about asking THEM to do a favour to you or to lend you money. I´m sure that once they discover that you can also ask for favors to you (even if you don´t need them) they will think twice before they treat you like that.
1 person likes this
@mama_bear (1124)
• Canada
4 Aug 09
well dear, you need to make these ingrates experience what life without you would be like. take a time out. a time out for self, where you will not deal with anyone's problems or issues, where you shall only look out for self. this sounds selfish, yes, but at some point you need to realize that you only have one life, and this is not a dress rehearsal. i suffered from the same malady, then i put a stop to it, i do not take anyone for granted ever! no one should do this to another person, take it for granted that you shall always be there and not fully appreciate you. have you spoken to them about how they are making you feel, insignificant and inappreciated? this is unacceptable behavior, if you have spoken to them and told them how you feel and they have not changed their selfish ways, then you need to make a stand. a silent protest, passive resistance if you will. just do not help any of them out, regardless of how bad and selfish it makes you feel, do not assist them, until and unless they learn the error of their ways. i think that it is great that you are a helper and listener, but who is helping, listening and looking after you?
@fwidman (11515)
• United States
4 Aug 09
There does come a time when one gets angry at always being taken for granted. I wish you the best of luck with your "new" personality and I hoped it works for you
1 person likes this
@savypat (20246)
• United States
6 Aug 09
The only problem with doing this is it comes back to bite you. You need to learn to say no but a selective no. The privilege of giving is a gift and you don't want that to go away, you just want some respect for who and what you are. One thing that might help you is to give with a free heart, no strings attached. Don't look for gratitude or even thanks, just busy yourself with the gift, whether it be time or material gift. If you can do that you will find you don't even notice if you get thanked or not, after all, that is not the point of the gift is it? If you can bring yourself to do this, all of a sudden you will realize that you are being thanked in many, many ways. Remember thanks not always comes from the recipient of the gift. Blessings