So what would you do .... Bad work environment
By KarissaAngel
@KarissaAngel (362)
United States
August 17, 2009 9:31pm CST
Don't get me wrong, I like my job, it is a good job but there is always that one person that has to make it unpleasing. Now don't get me wrong in this discussion, I am not taking it personally, she is not worth stressing over or having my day ruined, just don't understand her at all.
We had a lot of lay-offs in our division and she was going to be one of them due to she could not perform her job the way corporate wanted, but she had to do more than be my Supervisor's right-hand person. So my Supervisor suggested she help me out in my department since I lost a person due to cancer. I did not mind because it was very hard to keep up with my responsibilities and do the other girl's too. I tried and it was too much and my Supervisor agreed.
So I am sure she is was not pleased to go from Accounting to order entry with an Accounting degree, but I am a team player and feel we are all carrying an extra load so we should support one another.
From the start when she came to help me out she got on the defensive and knew everything, she wanted no help from me. When I tried to help in correcting some order entry problems, which is part of my responsibility to check orders, she got an attitude and tone with me. I went to my Supervisor about this but it did not help. I am not sure what she told her but I got sent to the office. It did not bother me until what I was told. My jaw dropped to the floor. She right out lied and told my Supervisor that I screamed at her. OMG, and I turned and told my Supervisor what happened. Nothing got solved, but I did not get into trouble either.
Then one day she was playing solitaire and orders were stacking up and I asked if she would help out and she told me she was busy and all I said was "I'm sorry, I can see you are", and walked away. I went to my Supervisor on this.
The girl appoarched me and told me I hurt her by going to my boss with this problem and that if I had a problem with her I should talk to her directly. The problem is I have tried, (and I told her she was not an approachable person) and can't due she gets defensive and wants to start an argument, so I just walk away rather than have a confortation at work. I have asked to speak outside and she won't do it.
I am just not sure why the attitude and tone towards me, she is not like that with anyone else in the office. Today she cursed at me and I approached her and said, "Please do not curse in the office." I did not direct it for me, but she said it loud enough for the office to hear this. As I was walking away she said, "It is not just about you." I did not respond, I just walked away shaking my head in quietness.
How would you handle someone who constantly does not want to be a team player? How would you handle someone that is an antagonizer and disrespectful? Suggestions.
6 responses
@speakeasy (4171)
• United States
18 Aug 09
1) Do not get personal about things - ignore attitude, etc and stick strictly to the facts when you deal with her. It is obvious she is unhappy to be there in that position. Nothing you can say will change that. So, stick to facts. Be 100% professional around her and in your dealings with her.
"I need you to do ....." "I told you to do ......." "You are late." "Did you take care of ....."
2) Keep your supervisors in the loop. Do not run to them about every little thing; but, make sure they realize she is still having problems "adjusting".
3) If she was playing solitaire on the computer ask your IT department to disable the games section. If they were actual playing cards confiscate them and tell her she may have them back at the end of the day and she is not to bring them to work any more.
4) Document, document, document!!! Then, you have a paper trail to back you up.
@speakeasy (4171)
• United States
19 Aug 09
I hope this situation doesn't go on too long; because, right now it is putting you under a lot of stress and that is not healthy.
"I try not to take it personally, because I did not do anything but it hurts." It isn't easy; but, the best way to keep it from hurting so much is to consider the source. I was assigned to a new team several months ago and I really respected my new supervisor. Most of the time she was pleasant and very helpful; but, sometimes she would be jumping down my throat for the smallest things. I started to think she hated me and didn't want me on her team; I was almost in tears and she didn't even have to say anything to me. Then, I learned a "secret" about her. She suffered from migraine headaches. When, one of them started she would take her medicine; but, it took time to take effect. Until it did start to work, she was suffering excruciating pain and the least little thing made it worse. As a supervisor, she couldn't just take some time off or go lay down for a while and she didn't want her supervisor to find out or think it was affecting her job. Once I understood, it didn't bother me anymore because I knew it was not personal.
This woman you have to work with; she is not your supervisor. She is not a personal friend. She is not related to you. She is a bitter, unhappy woman. She is striking out at the situation she finds herself in - not YOU personally. So, take it for what it is worth - absolutely nothing. Don't let it affect you personally because she would treat anyone in your position the exact same way.
"I try very hard to be kind to her and try to say the right things so it is not taken wrong." - Don't be "kind" to her. Be professional and be honest with her. Being "kind" to her is being perceived as being "weaker than her" and she will take advantage of it and treat you even worse.
I spent 20 years in the military and in the military you can't just quit, fire someone you don't get along with, and it is very difficult and sometimes impossible to get a transfer for yourself or the other person. The coping skills I learned there have been very helpful in civilian life. I hope these tips help you in your situation.
@KarissaAngel (362)
• United States
31 Aug 09
Thank you very much for your post. I do tend to be kinder, but lately I have not gone out of my way to do that, although I stay kind. But I am more direct.
She surprised me the other day by coming to my office and saying 'Good Morning'. I stopped what I was doing with a smile and told her 'Good Morning' also. I was really shocked.
Maybe she is wearing down and seeing that how she treats me is not affecting me. Which of course it is not. Most of the time after she acts up, I just finish what I have to say and go back to my office and giggle to myself.
Again, thanks and have a good day.
@KarissaAngel (362)
• United States
19 Aug 09
Honestly, I try not to take it personally, because I did not do anything but it hurts. I try very hard to be kind to her and try to say the right things so it is not taken wrong. I have been told I am very good with my words.
Yes, I do stick to the facts and when I speak I look directly into the persons eyes, although she will not do that to me. So half the time I am not sure if she is even listening.
I believe the only reason when she was playing solitare is that she was trying to get a rise out of me because she knew the orders were stacking up. What I should of done is said nothing and when our Supervisor saw that then she would have said something. But I did the wrong thing, like my mother said and covered it and entered all the orders.
I don't like seeing anyone get in trouble, but I do need to quit doing her job to. As people tell me, you are making her look good and she does not have to do anything and that does not help my case any.
I appreciate your opinion and thank you so much for posting, speakeasy.
@Azaerus (820)
• Philippines
18 Aug 09
It seems like this girl thinks you're her competition. I think that she's just insecure of you and people like her in the office or work place isn't new. Here's what they try to do, they do something bad put the blame on you like the one you've mentioned aove with her yelling at you but she told the other way around to your supervisor which she thinks kind a makes her on top.
Well,here's my advice if she thinks your a competition and she's so insecure of you the I say let there be a competition. If she doesn't want to be part of the team and doesn't really act as part of the team then be it. Don't let her attitude put you down instead show her you can do everything even without her helping. If she doesn't want to help then let her besides if your boss finds out what kind of girl she really is,she'll be the one in trouble and not you.
The way I see the girl is probably jealous and insecure of you because you work harder and better than her. So,don't let her get in your way and just do what you do. If possible,pretend like she doesn't even exist and you'll see she'll also be tired picking up on you.
Just be strong and oh with a little hint of office mates like her you can get her
pretty pissed when you smile back at her whenever she picks up on you again. The trick is whenever someone picks on you and you show that you are being affected it satisfies their insecurity so my answer is just smile back.:)
@KarissaAngel (362)
• United States
19 Aug 09
I approached her once on that competition aspect and she said she was not doing that. I told her I just wanted to reinterate that I was not going to compete because I was not going to put my job position in jeopardy. She did not say much more, just sniffed at me.
I don't need to compete in a job, as my work speaks for itself, so I could never understand the competition thing. I got promoted in this job due to my diligence, being on time, and the ambition to get a job done. But then again that is the way I was raised. I am old school, I guess.
I believe you are right, she will dig her own hole, but I hope she will come to her senses, good luck with that right? Anyway today she was pretty much quiet and really did not speak to very many people. It was very pleasing at work today.
I smile not matter what, I even say good morning to her, although, this morning I did not, my bad.
Thanks again for your opinion.
@highflyingxangel (9225)
• United States
18 Aug 09
Well personally I'd keep reporting her to someone higher up. It seems like your supervisor isn't doing anything about it. Is there someone else that you could go to that is above your supervisors head to try and get this issue solved?
I'd probably try to get to my supervisor to catch her in the act of doing something that she shouldn't be doing. There has to be a way that whenever she's giving you an attitude you can get someone in there to catch her red-handed. It just seems to me that she's a problem worker that would prefer not working at all and that she'll just continue to sit around doing nothing until someone finally fires her.
@KarissaAngel (362)
• United States
18 Aug 09
I have actually been told I should do this too, but the reason I have not pursued it, is that I don't want to be the one let go.
My Supervisor and I have a okay relationship but I have pretty much turned quiet in the office and just do my job and when I need an answer or require delegation I try and do it professionally as possible.
I was asked the other day by my Supervisor why I am so quiet and if everything is okay and I just told her that she doesn't really want me to answer. I think she knows but she is not sure how to handle it. She for one thing this girl knows how to cover her when she is gone and no one else does. That is where one hand does not outweigh the other.
I did button up her mouth when I told her to stop cursing in the office, however. But she will get caught and she came close to it today. I am not saying I want it happen persay. Some of my friends and family say I am being too nice about this, but I am getting to the point I dislike her more and more each day.
What makes it hard is that she is suppose to be my assistant. I get along with EVERYONE else in the office but her, or should I say she don't get along with me. I am not sure.
You would think since I don't speak to her much she would be nicer, but EVERYDAY this happens.
Thanks for your reply and will still weigh this option. I know I replied to the other post that, that is what I have been told, but wanted some more outsiders of this for suggestions.
Again thank you, highflyingxangel
@khayshenz (1384)
• United States
18 Aug 09
Unfortunately, we're sort of in the same boat here. =(
I think that it's important that you don't let her stress you out. You can't control her, but you can control your response to her. I wish that my advice was more applicable to me. However, my issue is with one of my superiors. She gives me something to do/work. But she's a procrastinator. So all her projects (and yes ALL) are always late. And when the due date comes around - she scrambles like crazy. And make me scramble like crazy just to get stuff done.
I can't control her - and lately, my response to her has been ignoring her. If she wants something done - then I do it. Otherwise, I just say it's her project and not mine. If it's late - it's her fault, and not mine. Definitely not the most positive attitude
@KarissaAngel (362)
• United States
18 Aug 09
Very true, you cannot control anyone. But being respectful to another, especially in a work place should be illustrated.
I was once a Supervisor and I would never put that much pressure on my co-worker. Even though I am not in that position now, I still would not do that to another person. I am a procrastinator myself, but at the start of my day I prioritize so I do not put myself under the wire. So working to not be a procrastinator is a job in itself. I am doing much better.
I wish you luck too and thanks so much for your opinion.
@dbabcook (388)
• United States
18 Aug 09
I to, have dealt with people of this nature within the workplace. It is a difficult task but from what you are saying it sounds as though you are handling it in the best way possible and just how I have done in the past. It is hard to say as to why she is this way to you and only you, but I would continue to document and notify your supervisor. Eventually she will get hers and be the one standing in the unemployment line and possibly even need you for a reference. Keep your chin up and continue the way you have been.
@KarissaAngel (362)
• United States
18 Aug 09
Yes, I bite my bottom lip a lot, but for the most part I am easy to get along with. I guess the reason I just stop talking and walk away is because I am a state of shock when she speaks to me that way.
The one thing is that I do not speak to her much, maybe 2 or 3 times a day when I feel she really needs to know something or learn something because she keeps making the same mistake. Like today I tried to tell her something and she told me I was wrong and if I am, I learn something, but I did not think I was and I told her she could go to my Supervisor and clarify and if I am wrong she can let me know. All she said was that is okay, I won't do it again.
Anyway, thanks for your support and opinion. By the way, I do document for sure.
@sekhmet (6)
• Australia
18 Aug 09
sounds to me like she is very yealous of you, my best advice would be to just dont let her get to you, ignore her completely , she'll get over it. You are going to meet alot of people thats going to be yealous of you, but best thing is to just ignore it, keep your head up high and live life. These people arent worth your time and effort. Trust me xx
@KarissaAngel (362)
• United States
18 Aug 09
This is what my friends and family are telling me too. Thanks for your input. At this point right now, I only speak to her when I absolutely have to or try and trick my Supervisor in doing it for me LOL.
