The temperature of hell - this is an actally assignment handed in.
By Chysom Scott
@CJscott (4187)
Portage La Prairie, Manitoba
August 18, 2009 10:48pm CST
THE TEMPERATURE OF HELL
The following is an actual question given on a Washington State University
chemistry mid-term. The answer by one of the students was "so profound"
that the professor shared it with his colleagues, via the Internet, which
is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives of heat) or endothermic (absorbs
heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas
cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One
student, however, wrote the following!!!
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need
to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which
they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets
to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how
many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that
exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not
a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than
one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one
religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death
rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase
exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law
states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the
same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1) If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter
Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell
breaks loose; and
2) If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa in my Freshman year that
"It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and taking into
account the fact that I slept with her last night, then #2 must be true, and
thus I'm sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The
corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that
it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct.... leaving
only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains
why, last night, Teresa kept shouting... "Oh my God."
THE STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"
What do you think of that?
1 person likes this
1 response
@zigzagbuddha (4601)
• United States
19 Aug 09
Yeah, I received that in an email a while back and saved it I thought it was so funny! The version I got was titled "Hell explained by a chemistry student" I love it!
I guess all the good jokes have been around and around because I have not been receiving any new ones lately. Which is ok actually because I have folders overflowing with stuff. I am going to have to clean them out one of these days.
