Can you accept the wife is older than the husband?

China
August 28, 2009 8:00am CST
In our country, most people think that the husband is younger than the wife is deviant,they can accept the men is ten years older than the women,but cann't accept the women is one years older than the men.what do you think of this problem? Can you accept a younger husband/an older wife?
1 person likes this
9 responses
• China
29 Aug 09
How can that be deviant? I think it is quite normal. I read a piece of news recently in my country, a young man married an old lady who is forty elder than he. It is unbelievable and a little funny, but it seems that they really love each other, for the old lady is not very rich, so the young man is not for money.
• China
29 Aug 09
i think this only exceptions,right?
• China
29 Aug 09
Maybe
@Lucky09 (1771)
• Philippines
28 Aug 09
Hello! here in my country, we don't care much if the husband is younger. Although some people cannot avoid to think negatively about this. I'm not married yet and it's ok if my husband will be younger (i thought the limit will be 5 year younger) but it still depends on the situation if the guy is mature enough to carry responsibilities of a marriage life then there is no problem. Some guys are older when it comes to age but their way of thinking is still immature while others are younger but thinks more responsible that those older men.^^;
• China
29 Aug 09
I totally accept your ideas, but sometimes we must conside the family's and the friends's feelings! Do you think so?
@Lucky09 (1771)
• Philippines
29 Aug 09
yeah that's right! even if we wanted to get married with someone we like and doesn't care about the age but as i said many people (relatives and friends you said) will not easily accept this. Well, it depends on the person whether which one he/she values more. In the first place, those relatives and friends will not be the one to spend their life with that younger or older person, it will be me or you... They will only talk negatively at first, but soon if they can see that your relationship prosper, then soon they would accept^^;
@chaime (1154)
• Philippines
29 Aug 09
Yes definitely. I don't think that age should be an issue, unless the age difference is so humongous like 20 or 30 years but if the wife is older only by 5 years more or less I do not think that it should be an issue. What is important is, if the couple loves each other truly and wholly the age should not be an issue and if the two of them are mature enough to handle their relationship. I have a number of female friends whose partners are younger than they are, there are also a lot of local celebrities whose boyfriend or husband is younger than them. I don't think that this is an issue anymore and many people, well from my point of view at least are becoming more and more lenient towards couples who do not conform to the norms of the society
• Laos
30 Dec 10
I almost agree with you, because the love is important than the age, however older and younger one have different Ideas, ambitious, experiences and others. In my country, there are some women like marrying with western men,I think they only think that when they get married with western men they would have a lot of money, unfortunately some western men also don't have big pocket as we are. It is not only my country, i think more than that especially like some South East Asia countries. I am a person who wants to get married with Western woman, I don't mean that I want money from her, but I want it because I think we both will have different cultures, and when we children, our children will be mixed person, she or he would know many different things in his or her life. I need to have really love more than the money!
@missybear (11399)
• United States
28 Aug 09
Sure why not. I don't see what the difference is. Who said the man should be older than the woman?
• China
29 Aug 09
Nobady said that,but this is true !
@kevchua (1004)
• Malaysia
28 Aug 09
I've a friend who is older than her husband. She's a Chinese, so is her husband, and they are happily married. So there's no problem. The real problem is in the way people look at this issue. It has something to do with a man's ego, and how culture looks at women; a man can marry a woman younger than he is, but not someone older. I believe this stigma is slowly changing.
• China
29 Aug 09
i hope the people can change their ideas as you said! happy mylot friend! thanks for your respond!
@srganesh (6349)
• India
9 Jan 10
Yes!this is a male chauvinistic world and what else can you expect from this.but there will be always this people who can go against the well trodden path and make their own way.I am from India and I can give two examples of successful pair like that,one from the past and one from the present.it is none other than Mahatma Gandhiji whose wife Kasturibai is elder and now it is Sachin Tendulkar,well known cricketer who married elder Anjali.
@williamjisir (22913)
• China
6 Sep 09
Hello fxq. I don't think that there is any problem for me if my wife is older so long as she is the one I love and I am the one she loves. I have a relative whose wife is three years older than he is and they got married happily for more than twenty years with a boy, now married. I also have a colleague who is younger than her husband and they are happy as well. So I think that it all depends on how one thinks when relating to their love and marriage. Take care, friend.
• Philippines
29 Aug 09
Yeah, even in my country..they really think having older wife is very funny and this is the same cases to husband older than his wife..But, it is also depending on the age gap is ranging generally from 2 to 5 years, t is still normal..but if the age gaps is from 15 to 20 years that is an odd relationship Some people would gossip that the old wife marries young husband, because the younger man is after for her money and not for love. Who ever want to marry an older women who could not bear a child? very rarely? Then, if a wife marries an older man, the same gossip goes to..But, the only differences men who are older could get more younger women to hook, because of their money and only few last , because of love..In my own opinion, if ever it happen and I marry an older man out of love and not of pity or because of his pockets full of money..but because of emotional and financial stability are balance. If ever i am the older wife marry a younger husband, I will be feel proud and little emotional that he marries me over the younger women. And, that is because of my good attitude and good personality, not just for the reasons I am rich, pretty or have money..I think the quality matters over the quantity or ages in any relationship..
@zoey7879 (3104)
• United States
29 Aug 09
It's been for years in America, kind of one of those unspoken uncomfortable issues. Where I live, it's VERY common for a big age gap between long term and married couples.. the man being older. I've dated men 10 years older than myself and never heard a peep about it. I'm 30 and dating someone 12 years younger.. and lemme tell ya.... we never hear the end of it.. from friends, from family. To make it worse, everyone automatically assumed that because we've been together off and on for 18 months, that there was some pedophilia going on there. Surprise world, not only was he actually above the age of consent when we started seeing each other, it's been intentional to NOT spend time alone because of people wanting to make assumptions. I'm a pay the bills and then kick back and be relatively care and drama free type of person. In my relationships with older men, it would seem to be, that when troubles within the relationship have arisen, it's always had to do with money or arguments over politics (which I dont even really care about) or their ex wives/gf's with custody of their children stirring up trouble. Or worse yet, the man is jealous. I'm a spazz, and I want to be with someone who isn't going to look at me like an idiot if I decided to go outside in the rain and splash in a puddle or sit on my porch in the evening blowing bubbles into the sunset. It hasn't always been easy.. because so many people DO want to stick their nose into things or bear down their social expectations.. but why is it anyone's business what I do within legal limits? It's not (= Many socities have the "the woman is a burden" or "the man should take care of the woman" philosophy.... That's not what it's about. Despite being a 12 year age difference, I love my partner J and we grow... TOGETHER... He learns from my experience, and I grow with his strides as he sets out into others. He plans to go to college, and I plan to wait until he's done to see if he'd like to further our relationship. Regardless of whether or not it does, I'm happy either way. I'll be happy to have had such a wonderful man in my life, and I'll be happy if it continues. Love and friends are both blessings. Love is about growing, and growing together... Not about growing to live up to someone else (outside of the relationships) needs and wants. If someone wants to groom a relationship, they can buy a damned poodle and groom THAT.