no no to nannies...

@angryeve (705)
Philippines
September 7, 2009 9:46am CST
How do you feel on getting your child taken care by other people, specifically by nannies? Do you feel safe and secured? Well, I saw an episode from a show that covers real crimes (basically anything that is against the law). Anyway, the episode that I saw was about a couple who were both working and needed someon to look after their daugther while they are out. So they hired a nanny thinking that it was the best option they have. But not too long after that when they noticed something weird about the nanny. Not the nanny herself but more on her routine activity. Whenever the couple arrives from work they usually would find the door on the room locked with both the nanny and the baby inside. They never ask the nanny on why she kept locking the door, mainly because they don't want her to get offended since it's really hard to look for a replacement. So this went on for another few weeks until finally the couple couldn't take the curiosity anymore on what could be possibly the nanny is doing. So they placed a hidden camera inside the room without the nanny knowing of course (duh.. that's why its hidden hehe). So they took off to work as usual and when they got home they were just surprise as ever as they unveil the truth (partly expected). Curious on what the nanny has been doing??? Well, on the video which unfortunately I cannot provide for you to see yourself, the nanny enters the room and locked the door as usual. Then lifts the baby up more like playing with her, the baby even giggles once in a while. The scene seems to be very normal to me..... until the nanny started spitting on the poor little child. It's like she's playing shoot that ball, but instead it's more like shoot that spit on the baby's mouth. A really yucky game I should say. The more heart breaking about it was that the baby was so helpless and couldn't do anything about it but to swallow every spit her nanny makes. Anyway, as soon as they saw the video they brought the nanny to the police. Just imagine what else the nanny could have been doing for the other past weeks!
3 people like this
19 responses
@SomeCowgirl (32270)
• United States
7 Sep 09
That is utterly wrong! It's almost as if the nanny was only babysitting the child because she needed the money. It's horrible to think of how many others might be out there who do such things and what their reasonings are. It begs the question, why if you are not comfortable around or do not like children, or other children then your own, do you even apply to be a nanny, babysitter, daycare worker... or what have you! It's terrible to think of what goes on in other people's homes. As for my fiance and I, we realize that once we have children, and even before we have children we are both going to have to have a job. That being said, our "nanny" will be my fiance's mom herself. She already said when we asked, that she would babysit... Ofcourse we didn't even offer free of charge, we told her we'd pay her... now once we have children that might change... but in any case... I know the horrors that I've heard of on t.v., so I would not want to subject our child or children to anything of the sort.
@angryeve (705)
• Philippines
7 Sep 09
Actually nannies here in our country are mostly stay in since they're from far provinces. Anyway, there are lots of nanny terror stories here in our country, on some cases there are even physical abuse, or should I say most of the cases. Since they are stay-in nannies their patience tend to be a bit more shorter for the child. I can't imagine how it would totally break my heart if I found out that somebody else hurt my daughter or do something bad that I myself would never even do to my child. There are even stories here where the nanny intentionally irons the child, causing 3rd degree burn on the skin. Anyway, I posted this story that I have seen years back cause it's something that I find really weird up to now. I mean I know some nannies just loose their patience that's why they get to hit the child. But I really don't get the satisfaction this particular nanny gets on spitting on the child and letting her swallow all of it.. really heart breaking to know something like that actually happens to someone.
1 person likes this
@angryeve (705)
• Philippines
7 Sep 09
By the way, you're very lucky cause you have your soon to be mother-in-law to babysit for you. I don't hire a nanny basically because of hearing lots of abuses on the news. I personally take care of my 4 month old daughter, and I believe there's a different positive effect if you personally attend to her needs. But I totally understand why some people really need to hire someone else. =)
@SomeCowgirl (32270)
• United States
7 Sep 09
Among the scenarios of bad nanny stories, the spitting incident is very odd. In the USA a nanny usually means live in as well... my fiance mom is a nanny but she does not live in with the two families she keeps children for... I assume you take care of your child and hope you can continue to do so without the help of a nanny or babysitter. Like I said, when my fiance and I have children we will be happy to know that his mom will be taking care of the child, and she has very much patience and a good heart as well.
@krupesh (2608)
• India
10 Sep 09
Helleo angryeve, Its not baby sitting its baby spitting.Cant imaging how weird people will be in this world.Defenitely its unsafe to leave your child with nannies.Its always better if there are grand parents to take care of that child. You never know whether they are going to run away with your baby.Oh God save this world.
@angryeve (705)
• Philippines
10 Sep 09
Hi krupesh, good to see you here crashing in to one of my discussions. Anyway, I totally agree that there is no better option than taking you own child yourself. Plus the child gets to be more closer with you, too. But with the economy going up and down nowadays, I can't blame parents for trying to work as hard as they could to provide a better and secure future for their daughter, leading them on hiring nannies. It's really sad when you have to make a choice of whether providing financial security or personal care for your child. These two are both important that a parent has to consider. Anyway, if you still have some spare time, do read a comment here from indybaty from the first page. That is even worse, after reading her comment I was just sure that I will never hire any nanny for my daughter.
@krupesh (2608)
• India
10 Sep 09
Hello angryeve, I saw you crashing into my discussions so often so I thought I would crash into yours...its always better to look after the child yourself...do anybody take care of your child as you do?
@angryeve (705)
• Philippines
10 Sep 09
Hi krupesh, so are you getting tired of seeing my face always butting in to your discussions. lol I think others such as nannies or even close relative's care for your child can never be as equal as the parent's love and concern for their child. That's why I decided that I personally take care of my daughter since I tend to have more patience for her than anybody else in the world. And it assures me that my daughter is getting all the love and nurturing she needs, for her to be able to grow with having the feeling being really loved. Which i think is very important for a child's development, by the way.
@CALLIBAN (278)
• Portugal
23 Sep 09
wow !!!!!!!!! MY GOD!!! This will sound agressive, but I will tell it anyway: Before calling the police I would punch very hard that nanny everywhere but the face (otherwise the police would see ;) ) I remember a true story in the news some years ago about that. It was the same thing, but even more sad. The parents were suspicious of something and they put a hidden camera. What they found out was that usually she was slapping and beating the 4 years child...GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! I would get my revenge with my onw hands, believe me!!! grrrrrr! this world is so sick! Sometimes you really have to find a nanny because you don´t have another chance. Let me give you a recent example. I became a proud uncle this january. My sister had to go back to work so she had to find a nanny. Well, she got a nice lady that used to take care of a child of her friend. I think nannies are like paid sites: only sign with those wich are referred to you bye those you trust :)
@angryeve (705)
• Philippines
23 Sep 09
HI calliban, yah I would have done worst than what the parents did on my post. I mean just imagine how gross that was. Poor child =(. They brought their daughter to the hospital after that to get her checked if she had any disease because of the spits. And it was really devastating for any parents to find out that their child had went through an abuse like that. And about he nanny who was found slapping the 4 year old child, I really would kill her.lol As a parent, its not a surprise at all if you get to beat a nanny that you just learned beating your own child. Yes, it's true that some parents unfortunately have to go to work to be able to give a brighter future for their child. And I agree they should be very picky when it comes to hiring a nanny and it would really be advisable to get someone a friend of yours already know.
@CALLIBAN (278)
• Portugal
23 Sep 09
Would it be very off topic If I ask you if you are a mother?
@angryeve (705)
• Philippines
23 Sep 09
Hahaha, I think we could defend ourselves from being off topic being saying it was needed to be asked cause it is related on the nanny issue. Anyway, yah. I'm a single mom... but I don't feel sad about it now. I guess I had moved on, even though being a single mom just happened a few months back. But that's okay. I try not to be depressed about it since it won't do me any good, right? =)
@cyberfluf (5005)
• Netherlands
7 Sep 09
That's disgusting and horrifying! I work in child daycare and I am utterly shocked that people who are trusted with the care of a child do such things. This woman needs some serious help. There are a lot of horror stories out there about nannies abusing children, but let's not forget the good people who work with children daily. I have worked in many different locations that provide childcare as I started off as someone who fills in the sickdays and holidays of the staff. The company has about 40 locations so I got to see a lot of them. I don't have the same opinion or way of working with anyone and everyone, but none of them ever did something horrifying like this. Thank God!
@cyberfluf (5005)
• Netherlands
7 Sep 09
I have to agree with you that it becomes more and more important to leave your child in the hands of strangers. Being qualified should suggest that you live up to certain expectations, but like you said, some nannies might fake it or have an education but still don't engage in a relationship with your child in a way that can be considered healthy. The thing is: where do we draw the line? Are we going to homeschool our children aswell? Because there are teachers out there that can't be trusted either. On the other hand; they are bigger than. It's a huge dilemma because we want to protect our children at our cost. My advice; never hire a nanny that doesn't have any (good) references from people. Even better if you know these people, and allways, allways ask away if something doesn't seem right. But yes and yes again... it's horrible and I would think twice too.
@angryeve (705)
• Philippines
7 Sep 09
Actually thinking about what you said made me realize a fact that I can't always protect my child to every bad things that might happen. Of course I could always try and as a mother, will definitely do everything I could to ensure her safety. But there's really no way to make sure that she won't get to experience some bad things in life, since after all bad experiences could sometimes be helpful one way or another. And actually I don't think I'll be very happy to see her ignorant on a lot of things, cause if I get too over protective, that's definitely what she's gonna be.
1 person likes this
@cyberfluf (5005)
• Netherlands
7 Sep 09
There is nothing wrong with being protective of your child, you are being a good mother doing so . Being overly protective can be an issue though, but I don't think watching out for your child like you are discussing here is being overly protective. I do think it's a part of life and we have to experience bad things to appreciate and to know what is good in life. However, we try to prevent our children from having experiences that are traumatic or result in injury of any kind.
@hagirl (1296)
• United States
8 Sep 09
Unfortunately it takes a better part of two salaries in a household these days. Children are the most precious thing that God has given us the ability to do. Some people really take advantage of these precious beings. In this day and age you have to be careful not only of nannies, daycare facilities, and the sad part some of your own family members. It is a sad and sick world we live in. These children did not ask to be treated the way some are. We have to be careful if it does come to getting babysitters. Make sure that you check reference on anyone and i mean anyone taking care of your kids.
@angryeve (705)
• Philippines
9 Sep 09
Hi hagirl, well, if you're not that busy I suggest you read a comment here from indybaty on the first page. When I thought that the spitting nanny was the most disturbing, her post proves me all wrong. I can't imagine that there are still much worst cases. Anyway, I totally agree with, we just need to be more careful with whom we leave our child with. By the way, I haven't heard any horror daycare story.
@hagirl (1296)
• United States
9 Sep 09
The problem with daycare centers is they are regulated by state and get shut down for unforseen circumstances. You are right though, Even the ones that have been shut-down I don't believe it has been for abuse of a child and most of them are back up running after fixing problems. I believe the last shut-down was because of person/child ratio..
@indybaty (373)
• Panama
7 Sep 09
This is the kind of thing that makes me say foul language and also gets me very upset. My husband thought that I was crazy because I was completely against hiring a nanny or taking our son to a daycare center because he thought it was just a paranoiah thing and that it was just a matter of filtering the nannies during the interviews. My mother told my husband about a local woman here (this was a case that ocurred 20 years ago)who gave a 6 monh old baby ghonorrea. Either way, my husband said that no way this can happen now, because its all a matter of being observant and just watching over the nanny. My husband hired a nanny where I kept a watchful eye, I made time durng my vacations so I could be on top of everything... and guess what? I had to to take a shower and told the nanny to give my son a bath, since I couldnt because of housework, when I got out of the bathroom, dressed up and went to the nanny in tiptes (so she wouldnt hear me) I saw her bathing my son WITH HER FEET!!! I yelled at this woman and told her literally to get out of my house. My husband realized that even though there are good people out there that are greatbabysitters, its because of terror nanny storie like mine, like the one you are placing in the discussion, that makes us feel weary on placing our children´s hands with total strangers.
@indybaty (373)
• Panama
9 Sep 09
Yes, unfortunately it is true. She gave the baby a sexually transmitted disease. My mother was a pediatric nurse and she said has horrible as it sounds, cases like that were not uncommon before in my country. She's still in prison for what she did. Quite right, I dont trust strangers that much, trust is something that is earned. And I noticed that with the nanny my husband got at the time, you could tell that she wasnt interested nor enthusiastic about the job, THATS why I sneaked on her... we cant afford security cameras nor anything like that so I rather be safe than sorry. My aunt is a nanny and I use to be a former nanny myself. Parents would watch me keep a camera and I understood, Im a stranger and not a family member we have parents have a right to do so and to keep our children safe, I guess in searching we just have to be more careful... for now, Im not risking looking for a nanny.
@angryeve (705)
• Philippines
9 Sep 09
That was just horrible, I mean when I posted this story, it's because I thought that this one is the weirdest and most disgusting thing that a nanny can do. If you noticed, I even tell everyone here to check your post hehe, since it's by far more eye opening. At least more and more people will be aware that this kind of inflicted people do exist. And about you sneaking in on your nanny like that, well I totally agree with it's much better that way than be sorry in the end when a damage is done.
• Philippines
10 Sep 09
Nannies, Maids, you just can't get a decent one now a days, Remember the incident where a maid with looks and can explain different pinoy dialects, tries to poison her boss and his family and steals the jewelry but they were able to call the cops and apprehended her. too bad, she got away..
@angryeve (705)
• Philippines
10 Sep 09
Hi letranknight25, wow that was horrible. I agree it's really hard to find some nanny or helper you could trust nowadays with poverty and all.. they get easily poisoned and tempted to do you harm. By the way if you happen to have a little extra time, try reading a comment here by indybaty it's around the first page, that was just the worst I've heard so far. The spitting nanny was not even close.. keep mylotting =)
@kmaram (2535)
• Philippines
9 Sep 09
Hi there, well so sad about this we can never trust anybody, anyway i grow up without having any nanny and now that i have my own daughter i personally take care of her. When i gave birth to her i am the one who taking care of her and until now that she was less than 2 years old. I am happy because i dont have any worry at all whenever i go somewhere. I just let my mother taking care of my daughter so no worries at all, trusting somebody who is not your family is really a hard one, i dont want anything happen to my daughter. Ok, i am open to have a nanny but definitely i will make sure she will be trustworthy and will make sure that i can leave my daughter without any worries, hmmmm wish i have sense what i am saying here hehhe, keep on mylotting
@angryeve (705)
• Philippines
9 Sep 09
Hahaha don't worry mona, you did make sense. I agree that the best option for any parents for their child is still to be personally taking care of them. It's not that there's no one else to trust since there are still a lot of good people around, but it's more on the fact that your child, who means the world to you, might get to experience such horrible incident like this just because you took a little risk. Anyway, if you're not that busy, you might want to check one comment here by indybaty on the first page. After reading that, I don't think anyone would ever consider hiring a nanny. That was just the most horrible story I've ever heard regarding nannies, by far!
• India
8 Sep 09
i do agree that nannies are a necessity for a working lady but personally i am too concerned with the safety issues of the child.even my colleagues have shared with same concern as they too have witnessed neglect on the part of the nannies many a times.
@angryeve (705)
• Philippines
8 Sep 09
Hi! neomatrix, well partly it's something that we should somehow expect. It's not their own kids and they are just doing their job. Still there is no excuse for anyone to do such disgusting thing like spitting on a child, it's just way too horrible. And a totally heart breaking experience for a parent to bare.
• Philippines
8 Sep 09
really?? well, thank God that did not happen to me. i was taking in nannies for all of my 3 children when they were babies. most of them were my relatives. others that i took in as nannies had very good indorsements from close family and relatives. maybe, one best way that this is prevented is to hire nannies who are relatives and well-indorsed by friends/relatives.
@angryeve (705)
• Philippines
8 Sep 09
Hi moneymakingtoday. Yes, I do agree that if a parent has really no choice it is best that they hire someone from close relatives or by recommendation of other friends. But to be honest that still won't give you a 100% assurance. Sometimes a nany may look really nice but when left alone with the child becomes a totally different person. It's really scary nowadays where you couldn't really predict what a person is capable of doing. You should read one the comments here by indybaty, that was even worse.
@junmae (1592)
• Philippines
8 Sep 09
Im sure that nanny has a serious mental illness to do such horrible thing to that innocent baby. Me, i dont have any plan to hire a nanny just to take care of my bay because its really hard to trust a stranger even when that one is close to your family, you never really know a person. I prefer to take care of my child alone because i want my baby to grow more closer with me and i can proudly say that i am the one who guide my baby.
@angryeve (705)
• Philippines
8 Sep 09
Hi junmae, I totally agree to everything you said, first I don't think any normal person would do such a thing, there's definitely something wrong with her head. And even though I grew up having a nanny (and was very lucky cause i never had any bad experiences with her), I still don't feel right about letting my daughter to be taken care of by a total stranger. You should check one of the comments here by indybaty. It's much worse.
• India
8 Sep 09
Now i think the babies parent must have learnt a lesson from this about handing kids to someone,well really i hate of keeping a nanny for this reason they may not look children as a parents do. There are some nannies tat are nice not all though,from this kinda experience i finda lucky tat i am not raised by a nanny.
@angryeve (705)
• Philippines
8 Sep 09
Hi rahulraal, well in my guess, the parents definitely have learned their lesson real hard. And I doubt that they'll be hiring any more nannies because of this. lol And I agree it's still different when you personally attend to your child's need since a nanny whether a good one or not, wouldn't have that much love for your child as much as parents do of course. But not all nannies are like that. My nanny when I was little was really nice, fortunately for me I never get to experience anything like that.
@kcoregon (303)
• United States
8 Sep 09
Well I don't blame the parents for hiring a nanny, and she could even have come with good references. Not knowing the whole story its hard to tell if the parents did a reference/background check before hiring her. However, I do not think it would take me several weeks to figure out what was going on. There would be no excuse I could ever think of for a person to be locked in a room with a baby. Right there spells trouble and I can't believe the parents let it go on for that long and all because they were worried about offending the nanny. Sorry but my child's safety and well being come first before anyone else's feelings. And if you are a nanny then you should be held accountable for everything you do with and for a child. So to me I feel that the parents themselves should be partially to blame for allowing this to go on for that long. I mean seriously it doesn't take a lot of brain or parenting know how to understand that if someone is locking themselves in a room with your child it ain't going to be good. If there was nothing to hide then why would she have locked the door? I mean come on...
@angryeve (705)
• Philippines
8 Sep 09
I guess you're right about that. I mean the couple should have taken immediate action to know what is happening to their daughter. But I think they weren't very fast on taking actions simply because they never expected that anything like that was even possible. Still, that is no excuse. As a parent it is your responsibility to make sure of your child's safety. It's just depressing to hear stories like these (you should read on the comment of indybaty here, much worse), we just all need to be more careful and watchful, if we don't want anything like that to happen to us, right.
@doryvien (2293)
• United States
8 Sep 09
Hi Angryeve, This is just so horrible! I could have killed that nanny it if happened to my kids... I've always left my kids to a nanny as I have to go to work, and I am so thankful (after reading this) that I have a good stay-in nanny/househelp who's been with us for years. I make it a point to ask my kids about how they are being treated by their "ate"(or nanny) and I also tell the nanny that my kids update me with whatever is happening at home - so I guess that would have deterred any evil nanny to make such nasty things.
@angryeve (705)
• Philippines
8 Sep 09
Hi doryvien, well first of all, I just wanna say I'm really glad bumping in with other pinoy users here. Anyway, it's not that I don't want you to have nannies or get you all paranoid or something. Still, I just want to share this one. A close friend of my dad, hired a nanny and has been with them for more than 3 to 4 years. They often times give her bonuses (really big one) so that she won't leave since they find themselves lucky to have her, considering that she already has a pay rate that is above the minimum (I mean she's really lucky). The couple has 3 children all in all, and all them was handled by the said nanny. Until one day they were surprise to see a bruise on one of their daughters. Of course they immediately asked what happened and investigates. And they were just shocked to learn that the nanny has been hitting all 3 children ever since she first came into their house. And that they never got to tell their parents because the nanny threatens them of doing something really really bad on them if they spill out the truth. The children thought that their parents would never believe them. Their youngest daughter until now is traumatize by the experience by the way. And I suggest that you read another comment here posted by indybaty. That was way more alarming.
• United States
8 Sep 09
I would never get a nanny. Seen wayyy too many videos like this on Jerry Springer n sh!t; i don't think it's necessarily an odd incident, people do stupid things all the time. And especially to helpless children. It's very stupid and naive idea to think a stranger (whether checked out or not) is actually going to care for your child. Also, I would trust a daycare over a nanny because there are more kids, and more employees there. Besides, it's even cheaper to send your kids to daycare than have a nanny. But seriously, the only nanny I'd ever let watch my daughter would be a close relative...Who knows what some weirdo is going to end up doing to your child?(doesn't necessarily mean she'll abuse them, but do people not care about how their child is raised? How do I know this person's morals check out to my own? You'd have to know a person very well, to let them help raise your child, I think).
@angryeve (705)
• Philippines
8 Sep 09
Well, if you do watch a lot of the Jerry Springer show, you'll definitely find my story about the nanny quite common, since they always feature something disgusting there or shocking. lol But yah, I guess you're right about people doing stupid things. Have you read about indybaty's comment? That was even disturbing. By the way, it's a good idea to get a close relative to babysit for you. But even so, you may never be sure. Since taking care of a child could really be a challenge to your patience. I still prefer taking care of my daughter myself.
• United States
8 Sep 09
Wow, that is nasty! Isn't it terrible that someone can do those things to a helpless baby, or would want to? I have to say I would have concerns about employing someone I didn't know to watch my child, but I am not a mother and I am not in the position of having to do that so I wouldn't judge anyone for doing so - but it is scary.
@angryeve (705)
• Philippines
8 Sep 09
I can't even imagine what is going on to their heads while they did those things. You could read a comment by another user name indybaty, it's very alarming. And just for that I really think, me personally taking care of my daughter was the best right decision I've ever made my entire life.
@vathsala30 (3723)
• India
8 Sep 09
oh! It is really shocking and an eye opener to others, who wish to hire any nannies for their babies
@angryeve (705)
• Philippines
8 Sep 09
Yes, it really is. Although I'm not saying that we should never hire any nannies cause to be honest there are still a lot of good people out there. But parents should really think about it as hard as they could before hiring one. They should be ready on the consequences of it. Just read the other user's comment above you, it was by indybaty. It's really alarming.
@Ithink (10500)
• United States
7 Sep 09
That is so disgusting, there had to be something majorly mentally wrong with that nanny. I know I have seen shows where they use the hidden cameras and the things that you see happening to these defenseless kids just makes me so angry! I cant imagine the guilt a parent would and does feel over something like that. I personally think the guilty person should see jail time and not just for a few weeks. After all it is abuse of a child! It has never been a problem for us as I stay at home with my children, I have always been one that wanted to be there for them and with all the sickos in the world I dont think you can be to safe anymore.
@angryeve (705)
• Philippines
8 Sep 09
Hi ithink, yah it's totally disgusting. That's the reason why I haven't forgotten about this even after so many years, I think I was still a teenager when I saw this one. Anyway, it's really heart breaking for a parent to learn that someone had done something as unacceptable as that to their daughter and would definitely feel guilty about it for a long time. Since what happened is really more traumatic for the parents than the child cause their daughter was still very young. And it's good to hear that you personally take care of your children, I always believe that it is still the best option to be sure of our child's safety and as well as building up your relationship with your child is concern. I personally take care of my daughter and I really don't consider on getting a nanny.
• United States
7 Sep 09
That's absolutely horrible! Why would someone even take a position with a child if that's how they feel about babies? I'm in the process of looking for childcare for my son, myself, and after reading that, I think I'd have to be a lot pickier about my options! Especially since you think it's going to be safer and better for your child to have someone come into your home, provide one on one care with the baby, work with your babies routine in your own home, and then you find out that with no one there to be accountable to, the nanny is abusing your kid? There is way too much guilt out there as a working parent to need this added on to it!
@angryeve (705)
• Philippines
7 Sep 09
Hi polka, yes I totally agree with you. I mean I can't imagine how am I gonna forgive myself if that same thing happens to my daughter. The guilt feeling would definitely kill me. But you shouldn't restrain yourself of wanting to provide a better future for your daughter as well. There are still a lot of people out there who aren't like that. The only thing the you have to do is somehow make sure that you're getting the right person for the job. Nannies you have been tested by your other friends could be a good candidate. Or by just even running a background check on her past will really help a lot on deciding if she's worth trusting.