Your worst disagreement with your partner? Do Tell...
By ilyzium
@ilyzium (1197)
Canada
September 8, 2009 10:37pm CST
I think we've all had a major blowout with our significant others at some point in our relationships. What was yours about and how did you resolve it? This was mine.
One time we were at a client's house and he was schmoozing with the male guests while I was sitting with a few of the female ones. Well, we were out on their marina, and the 3 women had decided to strip into their swimsuits and went swimming in the bay. I was left to myself for quite a while, and when they came back they didn't really make an effort to engage me in conversation which I thought was completely rude. If I have guests over at my place, I always play the role of hostess but this wasn't the case. I was sitting by myself for about 2 hours while they swam, and the men were somewhere else discussing business plans. We had been there for quite a while, and suddenly they said they were having dinner and if we wanted to stay. well, I felt incredibly uncomfortable because these women had ignored me and I didn't want to feel obligated that we had to stay to eat their food. Well, I made an excuse to my boyfriend that we were having dinner at my parents place and he forgot. Later on he was soo upset with me and said that it was a "strategic" move for him to schmooze and have dinner with them and that he had wanted us to stay. Well, in the 3 hours we were there in total, he didn't let me know what was going on? I had sat there completely ignored! We didn't see eye to eye for a while, then suddenly he realized he was in the wrong and apologized profusely. So that time he was being a complete ***!
Our problem has always been that my husband is extremely extroverted, meets friends easily and has a habit of forgetting about me when we go somewhere.
1 response
@carolbee (16230)
• United States
9 Sep 09
I've had this happen in the past since my husband is a business owner and sometimes we mingle with clients. I don't take it for long and eventually will walk up to someone, if I am left alone, and start talking. I refuse to sit in a chair with my finger up my nose looking like a dumb blonde. I am outgoing so don't have a problem striking up a conversation. There is always some subject you, myself or just anyone can find to discuss that is a common denominator in a group of people. I always suggest when someone gets "stuck" to talk sports. The men love it. With the women, talk fashion, kids, neices or nephews. I also make certain my tummy has a couple of drinks so I'm relaxed. Am also a joke teller but have to make sure I understand the correct jokes to tell in mixed company and not too offensive. Just an ice breaker when the conversation gets boring.
In the past we've had disagreements with our kids. They are grown now and on their own but sometimes need help with various things. I'm always willing to help, generally financially, and my husband is not willing. It can cause friction.
Finding a comfort zone for both yourself and your boyfriend is what I recommend. If you have to, discuss the evening prior to actually attending the event. Tell him what makes you unhappy or uncomfortable and see if he will work with you. Explain how you feel. Then ask him if he thinks it's fair for you to sit alone and do nothing for 2-3 hours.
@carolbee (16230)
• United States
9 Sep 09
Take a glass of mineral water and doctor it up with an olive or lime or just anything. Add a little straw, etc. This way others will think you actually have a drink. I have done this with 7-up or Sprite if I didn't want a drink since I'm not much of a drinker anyway. What I would have done in the situation with the ladies who brought their bathing suits is probably a little far fetched but I would have gone with the women and jumped in the water with my clothes on. I did this once at a backyard pool party and had a blast...lol Please understand that I'm not wild and crazy, like who is at my age, but I do like to get in there in the crowd and have fun. People have told me in the past they invited my husband so I would come to the party..lol
