Men Really Need Respect??? Over Love ?!?

@jenysie (106)
United States
September 17, 2009 9:06pm CST
Lately I have been having relationship problems with my husband. I mean I always knew deep down inside myself that I am jealous, controlling, and a little on the nagging side...but that's me he should just deal with it right? Well I let things get so bad that I kicked a hole in my wall because of my own jealousy... I started counseling...and then started reading as much as I could to try to find information on how to improve my relationship... You see I grew up in a "broken" home so really I had/have no idea what I'm doing when it comes to being a wife...especially since my single dad raised me for the larger portion of my life...so I never really had a mother/wife role model...well except for TV and my grammy who was also singe...so I could learn some mother stuff but marriage...what's that?!? So I finally realized that I had no idea how to be a wife and only a little idea about how to be a mother...(I became a mother at 16 -- before marriage) So what I learned is that most men would choose to be alone and unloved in this world before they would choose to be disrespected... WOW I never knew that respect was so important to a man... Okay so now that I know that how do I do that? Well lately I have just been telling my hubby how proud I am of him, giving him space, praising him, and making sure that the things he likes to be done are done first...like dishes .. UGH!! but I choose to do them and God rewards me by making the process of doing dishes not so unbearable... And guess what results I've gotten already... My hubby brought me home flowers the other day!! :) This man hasn't gotten me flowers since we were dating, and never without me asking for them...so giant success!!! We haven't been fighting, and he's been a lot happier!! as have I!! I don't do this manipulatively either, I am genuinely trying to be a better wife!! and God has rewarded me and our relationship largely!! So if you are having problems, even if they aren't your fault try respecting your man! I know it's hard, but that is what men want...right guys?? A man is more apt to stay in a relationship where he feels he is respected..and although I don't want to say this word because I know what everyone will think...but men also like to be adored....
3 responses
@syaryel (155)
• Malaysia
18 Sep 09
hai Jenysie, the word of men is a constant struggle of outdoing another man..and one of them is by earning and gaining respect from another. so if the woman of his life being disrespectful towards him, its equal to your feet sweep off the ground..or booed by your own cheer leader..its odd, but it's true, that's why the terms man's ego exist in the 1st place.. so, if u also wanna earn respect from your man try to balance the amount of ego involved (less is preferable or at least equal to his ego)..
@Archie0 (4669)
24 Sep 09
My man just wants unwavering love...love, love, love. And, a little bit more love right before and after that. Respect doesn't get to break in..from all the lovin' he's gettin.. He wants to be shown and see the love...respect is just a given at that point.. I would say Love and Respect are parallel to one another? wouldn't you? Can one exist without the other?
@syaryel (155)
• Malaysia
26 Sep 09
hai Archie0, personally, in a guy point of view..the respect part is a bit higher than love..Im always a believer that relationship is sharing you life with another rather than owning, still I can't love a girl who is being disrespectful towards me.. so as far as your argument concern, i guess the respect part is slightly higher than love.. :) maybe it just me, who know other guys may have different view regarding this one.. -peace-
@snowy22315 (51309)
• United States
18 Sep 09
It sounds like you have found the key to making your marriage better. The problem is that my boyfriend does not do alot of things that I feel that I can comment postively on. I wish there were more things that I could. He does do a good job with the dishes but he only washes them usually at the end of the day when I am already in bed.
@satan88 (586)
• United States Minor Outlying Islands
18 Sep 09
as i man i'd like a little bit of both. but if i had to choose i'd probably choose just having someone there who wants to spend the rest of her life with me. So i guess that's love or maybe not i'm not too sure.