Which would you prefer: flings or real relationships?
By aixshaonline
@aixshaonline (600)
Philippines
September 17, 2009 10:36pm CST
I know that this question is typically a no-brainer, but my point here is just I've had friends who'd rather indulge in having flings rather than have real relationships. When I asked them why, it was because they're afraid of commitment again. Most of them have been heartbroken, and being one who hasn't any experience with relationships yet, I am baffled.
So any comment here would be really welcome :) Thanks in advance! :)
1 person likes this
30 responses
@patofgold23 (5069)
• Philippines
18 Sep 09
I would never want to have flings...
I am a fun person...carefree....
but when it comes to relationships..I am very serious and emotional..
I do not know if I can bear the thought f ebing in a relationship where there is no assurance..or love......
i would always want to be in a real relationship...
I am a real person..and that is the only way i can have relationships with..
i honestly have had flings when iw as younger...but i do not even call it ia fling coz I was serious and they were not..so maybe it was something that just didnt work out.
@patofgold23 (5069)
• Philippines
18 Sep 09
..ugh I do not ever wanna play with my emotions or anybody's emotions..it's not a good thing...nor do i wanna play russian roulette in a relationship...
it's not easy getting hurt....
and the pain is too much of a price to pay......
i have been there.......)getting hurt i mean(
id o knwo people who play around too and end up falling in-love!
@aixshaonline (600)
• Philippines
19 Sep 09
I just can't get over the fact why people do this.. I think it would be more likely for a person to be entangled in an emotional turmoil once he/she indulges himself/herself in having flings. Hehehe.. :)
@aixshaonline (600)
• Philippines
18 Sep 09
That's really good to hear. I have acquaintances who constantly change boyfriends/girlfriends, so when I ask if it's the real thing, they'd simply answer "It's just a fling. We'll see how it goes"
I also know of people who started out as flings but ended up as real relationships. Hahaha
@mdvarghese (1789)
• Bangalore, India
18 Sep 09
It depends of the age. In the schools and colleges , I have seen and observed many relationships which are flings. In that age they will not be aware about hthe seriousness of a relation. Gradually when they are matured enough to think about the future, they will change to serious relationships. But I observed many students, those will not indulge in any kind of relationships.
@Archie0 (5636)
•
18 Sep 09
Relationships.The very term opens up a host of synonyms starting from bonding and association and ending at closeness on a more broader perspective.But while the synonyms try and analyse the purpose of the term they fail to bring out its essence..that of compatibility between similar minds..and of similar souls.
The soul today is insatiate,always craving more and trying to explore new grounds.With the new host of online domains opened up,people can finally shed their inhibitions out of the closet and come together on a variety of issues.Mind it, a relationship does not necessarily mean a romantic one.As long as the thoughts match, the essence of any form of relationship is served.The platform is a mere formality.
So ya,I myself am a believer in virtual relationships in all its forms..
@aixshaonline (600)
• Philippines
19 Sep 09
Hi mdvarghese!
I've had acquaintances that just seem to have flings here and there, but I can't really see that they're happy. When I was still in school, my parents didn't want me to have a boyfriend, and I chose not to have one too. I think it's all a matter of maturity and perspective if you're ready or not :)
@aixshaonline (600)
• Philippines
19 Sep 09
Hi Archie0!
Beautifully written. I'd want to spend my life with the one whom the Creator has destined me to be with. So I'd rather wait ;)
@neo_matrix (884)
• India
18 Sep 09
hi!
i too have come across friends who have such view.their point is that since they have been wronged by someone they can set the scores even by repeating it with others .but i don't agree it to be a gud idea.even i have been wronged upon by someone i feel its destiny that i cudn't find true feelings in the person i chose. no matter how much i am hurt i have got no rights to hurt anyone else as a substitute.i don't know if i can commit or not a fling is not going to happen either.
@aixshaonline (600)
• Philippines
19 Sep 09
Oh gosh, paying back at someone else is just too risky. I do believe in karma and one time or another, everything you've done will be thrown back to you.
@CALLIBAN (278)
• Portugal
19 Sep 09
I think it depends.
If i am getting out of a relationship, I don´t want to even hear about real relationships again. So I will be having flings. I understand your friends of course. When we have been heartbroken, we built kind of a wall in our hearts not letting nobody approach....
@aixshaonline (600)
• Philippines
20 Sep 09
Exactly. That's what I've been hearing from my friends who do so.
@SurveyPrincess09 (338)
• United States
18 Sep 09
Hello Aixsha,
You are right this is a no-brainer. I do prefer a real relationship than a fling. I always thought it has a lot to do with the way I was brough up. You know, the old fashioned way. But I am sure a lot of people out there, like some of your friends that will take a fling over a real relationship. If I feel or know that the person is only interested in one thing and one thing only. I don't even bother. I just move on.
I also understand your friends having their heart broken but then again, who hasn't?? that doesn't mean that I am going to get butt wild and hop from one guy to another...Hmmm...Not me. :)
Happy MyLotting!
Olivia~
@SurveyPrincess09 (338)
• United States
19 Sep 09
You are more than welcome. Stay true to yourself. :)
@aixshaonline (600)
• Philippines
19 Sep 09
Right on! I would want to give my all in a relationship, and I wouldn't want to waste my time on guys who are unworthy! And if guys try to go near me just for a fling, I'm so not the girl that they're looking for. Thanks Olivia! Happy MyLotting too :)
@modstar (9605)
• Philippines
18 Sep 09
It's ironic that the people who were hurt are the ones doing the things that could hurt them again. I mean come on, even flings can hurt us one way or another especially when we're already in too deep. So the best thing is to take your time, think it over and if you're already sure, then you can proceed with the new relationship.
@shia88 (4571)
• Malaysia
18 Sep 09
Hi Aix,
I don't believe in fling and I hate it. When I fall in love with someone, then I will go for real relationship.
There is no point to waste your time on fling relationship. Although real relationship will have a commitment,but at least you are towards something and has the good endings.
It does not mean real relationship will go smoothly all the time. Life is up and down,it goes for relationship too. As a couple, we will quarrel sometimes,but not all the time. Quarrel is an element to build up our relationship stronger and stronger.
No quarrel in a relationship,that is weird!!
As a couple, communication and trust is pretty important. Once you trust another party and love him/her, then go for real relationship!!
@aixshaonline (600)
• Philippines
19 Sep 09
I agree! Everything has its ups and downs. It's just that a couple has to work through it together, only then will they become stronger. Real relationships = a million thumbs up :)
@jen14ed (865)
• Philippines
19 Sep 09
hi aixshaonline of course real relationship yes your right other person not like real relationship because they afraid of hurt her felling. or they afraid to love because if you love someone of course you will hurt also because you love someone the face of love is hurt and love.
@gracefuldove (1668)
• Malaysia
19 Sep 09
I guess those who have lost in love and their virginity will go for flings. It does not matter for the 'ice is broken'. Boys will be happy for these. Words will spread around. You will likely be the flavour of the year and then sometime along the way you will be labeled, 's.l.u.t'. Anyway, its values we are talking here. Live your life dangerously, if you want. All you need is to start with a fling..........
@aixshaonline (600)
• Philippines
18 Sep 09
That's what I was thinking too. But I can't really tell my friends that as they have the free will do choose. I've tried telling them, but I think it would make a difference if I had undergone a relationship as they had as well. Hahaha.. In my opinion that is.
@alatecablebill (519)
• Philippines
18 Sep 09
i prefer real relationships too. i am always serious when i commit myself to someone. i don't play around. i want my valuable time to be spent on someone who's worth it.
@aixshaonline (600)
• Philippines
18 Sep 09
Yep, I do agree. I've never liked people who play around. I've always believed in real love.
@angguloy (85)
•
19 Sep 09
Hello there :) In my opinion, (and maybe based on my own experience, haha) flings are for those who aren't ready enough to commit and enjoys playing safe. Even so, I still prefer being a real relationship. A relationship with more love, trust, no lies and does not pretend, and more mature i say. Being hurt is part of the game, but it's nothing to be afraid of actually. Because it's just a phase and if you and your partner in life will work on it as soon as possible, then everything will be perfectly fine. :D have a nice day :D
@d_red_madelaine (528)
• Philippines
18 Sep 09
Of course I prefer a real relationship. That's too bad for your friends though but it's their choice and opinion. Flings can't expect too much because they do not have a commitment. Flings can get jealous but they can't get mad. You can date with another guy and it those not matter. You can hug and kiss. But if someday you'll find out he/she commit in a real relationship but it's not you... you can cry, you can get hurt but you can't criticize or scold him/her because you don't have the right.
@ProudMommy22 (705)
• United States
18 Sep 09
Id much rather have a real relationship than a fling. Being that a fling can actually cause a problem for some people.If you think about it one person maybe wanting more than a fling and they will end up hurt in the end. Dont see much point of a fling really and not to say that having a Fling your more likely to get an STD in my opinion.
@christyandbenny (11)
• United States
19 Sep 09
i think it is better to be in a real relationship because going from person to person you'll never find true love and life can't get better cause you'll never be truely happy with yourself.plus if your doing more then just getting together and leaveing it will be bad. cause chance of getting something you'll never be truely happy with anything . so get your true love first get real relationship
@good2go2001 (915)
• United States
18 Sep 09
I dont give that freely of my heart so flings just would not work for me. I am the type that wants to really get to know a person before i will let them in to my emotions and feelings. Flings are just like being able to turn on and turn off your emotions which is something ive just never been that good at
@loganirado (249)
• Brazil
18 Sep 09
Hello. At the moment, I prefer having flings instead of real relationships. Besides the fear of commitment, I think I'm not ready to share my life with someone else to that level. I mean, I may sound very selfish here, but at least for now, I can't see myself not doing the things I have to do, my obligations, for someone else. Maybe it is because I never found someone who is worth it or maybe I'm just too young (or mentally young) I'm not sure yet.
@JacquesF1 (25)
• South Africa
18 Sep 09
For most males I guess it would be a fling, rather than a relationship. I don't think that it is so much about commitment, than having as much variety as possible. On the other hand, some people do not want one-night stands and are more interested in long-term relationships. I had too many flings too count when I was a young man, but after I got married, it was and is only my wife.
