It was anxiety, fear, panice, whatever...
By TheRealDawn
@dawnald (85135)
Shingle Springs, California
September 21, 2009 12:19pm CST
When I talked about my daughter vomiting Friday morning before school, somebody suggested it was fear or anxiety. They were SO right.
Seems on Thursday she was in Spanish class. She needed to make up the exam they had taken on Monday because she was out sick. They were grading the tests in class, and she didn't hear the teacher ask who needed to make it up. So when the teacher put a paper in front of her to grade, that's when she said she hadn't taken the test yet.
A boy in the class called her a cheater, presumably because she could have seen some of the answers. All the kids were staring at her. And now she can't face going back to school.
I don't know what to do with her, but I know if she doesn't get her butt back to school and face her fear, things are only going to get worse. Any ideas?
5 people like this
10 responses
@babyangie27 (5176)
• United States
21 Sep 09
Let her know you are there for her. Tell her in school all you have to do is wait a day or two and BOOM there is a new thing to talk about. It will be forgotten,she knows in herself she meant no harm in it. And just show her love. It is not easy but if she lets them win over her now she will always be running from something.
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
21 Sep 09
Yeah, I did let her know. Actually, the counselor told her none of the kids were going to remember that. Heck the school was evacuated Friday, nobody's going to be worried about what happened Thursday in Spanish. But she just couldn't get out of that car.
1 person likes this
@babyangie27 (5176)
• United States
21 Sep 09
OMG I do hope everything is ok? Why was it evacuated may I ask?
Yes see kids as well as some adults 
tend to forget things when another incident takes place.
I am sure no one is even thinking or talking about what happened in Spanish,they are more talking about Friday.
I do hope she goes back. I know I dropped out of school when I was 16 due to some things that were happening to me in my school. I got my G.E.D. threw a school I found ion the paper but it is so not the same.
tend to forget things when another incident takes place.
I am sure no one is even thinking or talking about what happened in Spanish,they are more talking about Friday.
I do hope she goes back. I know I dropped out of school when I was 16 due to some things that were happening to me in my school. I got my G.E.D. threw a school I found ion the paper but it is so not the same.1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
22 Sep 09
I think the teacher should have been paying more attention to who she was handing them out to . I have never thought other kids should be grading papers to start with. tHAT IS THE TEACHER'S JOB. tHE TEACHER SHOULD HAVE BEEN BIG ENOUGH TO ADMIT IT WAS HER FAULT & NOT YOUR DAUGHTER'S & TOLD THE CLASS THAT.
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
22 Sep 09
The teacher didn't hear it because the boy whispered it. She did offer to talk to him afterwards as well as the class, but Dearra didn't want any more attention brought to it.
I don't recall ever correcting papers when I was a student, but it seems common enough nowadays. I wonder if they do it to help the kids learn or what?
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
22 Sep 09
I think they let the students do it so they want have to.
1 person likes this
@miamilady (4910)
• United States
21 Sep 09
Hon, I SO feel for ya! Check out some of my discussions on anxiety.
I suggest you be sympathetic but firm.
You are absolutely right about "facing fear". I had to have my son in a 14 week program to help him to face his fears and we're still working on it.
If you can nip it in the bud your better off.
But ya gotta try to do it gently.
I could write PAGES on this subject, but I don't want to drive ya nuts. lol
Just know that if for some reason she doesn't get over it quickly (I sincerely hope she does) you have a sympathetic listener in me. AND someone with a lot of resources if you need them.
Good luck! Hoping she bounces back quickly! :-)
1 person likes this
@miamilady (4910)
• United States
21 Sep 09
I also suggest that you try to keep her busy, so that she isn't dwelling on what she's afraid of.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
21 Sep 09
I really want to nip it in the bud now, but I don't want to push her too hard either. I'll have a look. Thanks...
@smart44 (510)
• Philippines
22 Sep 09
you need to talk with the adviser or the teacher about the situation of your child, yes your child has fear of not attending class anymore beacause of the embarrassment her classmates have done to her. You can explain it the the teacher so that the teacher can explain to the students not to do it again to their classmates since it would be causing problems, there are some instances that the children will really understand what is going on. so try to explain to the teacher first so that you can help your daughter at the same time her classmates can help her up.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
22 Sep 09
We did talk to the teacher. The teacher asked her if she wanted her to talk to the boy who said it and she said no, so for now we will leave it at that!
@tamarafireheart (15384)
•
22 Sep 09
Hi dawnald,
Awwww, poor little girl, I think she should talk to her teacher what the problem is and the teacher will help her, other then that I have not got any clue.
Tamara
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
22 Sep 09
We did have a talk with the teacher and it helped a lot. Crossing fingers for tomorrow...
@drakkar (50)
• Philippines
22 Sep 09
We parents really would feel very bad whenever such things happen with our children. One of my kid experience such situation. They were having a quiz, after the quiz had done, the teacher start to check there paper and then my kid said mom I don't have a pencil. The teacher scolded him asking why didnt you tell me prior to the exam. My kid just stare down. When he got home, my kid tell me that his teacher is angry of him and that he wanted me to be with him on the next school day because he's afraid of his teacher. So I did accompany my kid and it makes him feel better. The only thing our kids need for them to feel better is to comfort them and make them feel there being loved.
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
22 Sep 09
I felt pretty awful, but it's hopefully smoothed over now.
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
21 Sep 09
Personally I think this Boy needs to be rectified as it was not your Daughters Fault but the teachers as she should have known who took the test and who didn't
Personally I would have a word with the Teacher and basically tell her what has happened and to put it to the Class that it was not your Daughter in the wrong but herself/himself for overlooking that she had not done the test
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
21 Sep 09
I have left the teacher a message and I'm sure she'll call me back when she's not in class...
@katsmeow1213 (28717)
• United States
21 Sep 09
I think each of us has been in a situation like that at least once during our school lives. It will all blow over soon enough and everyone will have forgotten.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
21 Sep 09
I'm going to bet the other kids already have forgotten. Anyway, we're going to go talk to her Spanish teacher in a bit and see what happens after that...
@tamarafireheart (15384)
•
22 Sep 09
Hi dawnald,
I feel so sorry for your daughter, it must be so horrible to be in that sistuation, the best thing for her is to talk to her teach and see what she say, it has got to be sorted.
Tamara
1 person likes this
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
21 Sep 09
Poor baby! You need to talk to her teacher about this and together, come up with a plan. The teacher could mention to the class, before she returns to school, what had happened and how your daughter did not cheat. Do they have a guidance counsellor to help her develop coping mechanisms? She really needs help. I can so remember being scared to go to school and being ridiculed by my mother as a loser. I was 9 or ten at the time.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
21 Sep 09
The counselor is aware of the problem and I've left a message for the Spanish teacher also. Hopefully she'll call me back...
